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   NEWSLETTER: "THE NEWSLETTER THAT REFUSES TO PRESENT MATCH OF THE DAY EVERY
   WEEK"
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 This Week:
 * EVENT - Go to Chris Barker’s thing ok?
 * AI - why it is / isn't coming for your shit games
 * NEW CHALLENGE - Birds and LPs finally as one concept
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 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  "We're sitting on arses
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  refusing to save the web
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  coz it's shite init"
 B3ta email 851 - 10th March 2023
 Ask your priest to read this issue at your funeral:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue852
 Subscribe: https://b3ta.com/subscribe/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making their dogs disappointed
   * COMEDY / ART EVENT - Please go to
   @christhebarker's  art launch on the 16th. Your
   editor  will be there and also giving a short
   talk  where he'll tell you that Chris is a
   genius  & give you a bit of background on his
   20  odd years of contributing to B3ta, before
   Chris  takes over and talks through his art
 https://museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth...
   * AI IS BRILLIANT PART 12 - your editor tried
   to  have a go at asking ChatGTP to create a
   game  as good as 'Sumplete' and it went very
   badly  indeed and provides hope that AI isn't
   taking  over the world just yet, although, to
   be  fair, it absolutely is.
 https://github.com/robmanuel/tangled-tiles
   * NEW CHALLENGE: BIRDS - we've bunged up a new
   challenge  and it's going pretty well, making
   album  covers out of birds, and there's already
   87  entries. Keep at it lads and ladies - let's
   crack  100.
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/birdalbums/popular/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some fine threads ok?
   Each week we implore you to buy some clothes
   from  Hebtroco as they sponsor this very
   newsletter.  Each item is made in the UK to the
   highest  standards, built to last and an ideal
   present  for the difficult man in your life who
   you  can't buy anything right for.
 https://hebtro.co/new/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your fessions pulled out like shitty love
   beads
   Each week you wank into a bin and we fish for
   lumps  and ask the internet "does this look
   right  to you?"
   * TELETUBBIES SAY OH NO - "My husband has
   started  whispering 'Time for tubby custard'
   just  before he orgasms. I don't know how much
   longer  I can stay with him."
   * RING - "I've trained the cat to use the
   video  doorbell when she wants to come in. She
   stands  on the little ledge under the bell and
   hits  it until it goes off. I was all proud of
   her  until people in the same style houses
   started  posting videos of her setting their
   bells  off at all hours."
   * YOUR NEW HOBBY "I've made stickers of QR
   codes  that point to classic shock sites like
   Tubgirl,  Meatspin and Lemon Party and whenever
   I  spot a QR code on a menu or an advert on the
   tube,  I stick one over it. There's also the
   odd  Rickroll as a treat because I'm not a
   monster."
   Follow the Twitter account that James Blunt
   has  quote tweeted for clout at least three
   times.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/
   * BUY THE BOOK - it's only about seven quid
   which  is the same price as a tomato what with
   prices  today hashtag satire.
 https://amzn.to/3EQU6wb
   * FESSHOLE LIVE EDINBURGH - buy a ticket and
   stick  the 25th of April in your diaries so you
   can  stand outside and boycott our show for
   being  "unclean" and "not using my confession
   you  bastards"
 https://www.designmynight.com/edinburgh/whats-on/c...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAME(s)
   Sumplete
   Genuinely enjoying this game created by AI and
   have  gone back to it several times to have
   just  one more go.
 https://sumplete.com/
   BONUS CONTENT: This lists some of the best
   HTML5  stuff of the last few years - very fancy
   but  is it as good as Cursor Love Bunny? No.
 https://webgamer.io
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Max 3 links per customer
   * AI ART TOY - Turn your rubbish doodle into
   slightly  less rubbish ai art coping the same
   shapes.  Loads of fun, we recommend getting to
   try  drawing Hitler.
 https://scribblediffusion.com/
   * REALISTIC PATRICK BATEMAN'S BUSINESS CARD
   SIMULATOR  2000 - pop on an expensive suit,
   press  play on a Phil Collins CD, and create
   your  ideal business card in the perfect shade
   of  off-white with this Patrick Bateman design
   studio.
 https://americpsychcard.github.io
   * LIMMY VS APPLE LOGIC PISSING AROUND - Limmy
   has  uploaded a playlist of his techno cover
   versions,  in which he puts a donk on a
   disparate  selection of tunes. It's all an
   entertaining  listen, but his cover of Creep is
   perfect  and really needs a full length
   version,  preferably with Andy Bell on vocals.
 https://youtube.com/playlist
   * THIS DX7 CART DOES NOT EXIST - niche but a
   cute  idea where a cart that can be plugged
   into  an old synth is randomly created. You'll
   need  to do a bit of setting up to get anything
   out  of this but it's fun to think about.
 https://www.thisdx7cartdoesnotexist.com/
   * RUDE SONGS - a guide to some of the rudest
   recordings  of the past. This is like listening
   to  the constant monologue inside our heads.
 https://mulberryhall.medium.com/odd-this-day-3b304...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Results from Modernise Books challenge
   In what is probably the best challenge of
   recent  times, modernise books is classic B3ta
   and  here's our three absolute favs:
   * Monkeon on modern dating
 https://b3ta.com/board/11387773
   * Ah fuck it, Monkeon again on modern shopping
  
 https://b3ta.com/board/11387588
   * And of course Ninj on otters
 https://b3ta.com/board/11387985
   Make sure you check it all out because classic
   B3ta  like this only comes around about twice a
   year:
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/modernisebooks/popular/
   So now it's time to follow it up, can we have
   another  good challenge? Well remaking LPs with
   birds  is surprisingly good - the RUN DMC one
   alone  has potential to be an image that could
   lurk  around on the internet for years to come.
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/birdalbums/popular
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick you off
   * COFFEE POD ART - each day millions of coffee
   pods  are binned adding to the useless plastic
   waste  in the world. Could you make huge pixel
   art  from yours? Or maybe Devo-style hats for
   your  army of pet rats?
   * RATE MY FUNERAL - a website for finding
   interesting  funerals to watch online, it's
   slightly  odd but voyeuristically interesting
   that  you can just find old streaming funerals
   from  the last few years and have a watch.
   * GOOGLE BOX - a weekly TV show where you
   watch  people struggling to google simple
   things  and a family takes the piss out of
   them.  Presented by Nick Beggs from, wait for
   it,  Kagagoogle.
   Don't be a failer, use the mailer:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE*  *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES*  *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES,  CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE,  CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH,  MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN,  WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT  MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee  burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam  Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield,  Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar,  Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie  Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed,  Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister,  Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks,  Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave  Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley,  David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills,  Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric  von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James,  Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich,  Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain  Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian  Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James  Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart,  Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling,  Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally,  Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster,  John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans,  Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad  Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway,  Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan,  Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew  Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes,  midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret,  Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes,  Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman,  Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda,  Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard  Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie  Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem  Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon  Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon  waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey,  Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl,  Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams,  Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil  Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood,  Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris  Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel  Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey,  Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes,  John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis,  Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders,  George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin  Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah  Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh,  Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell,  Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody,  Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin  Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey,  Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl  Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan  Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom  Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood,  David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair  Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson,  Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples,  Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry,  Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael  Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter  royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim  Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny  Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson,  Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling,  Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom,  Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound,  Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John  Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond,  David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma  Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher,  Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti,  Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M,  Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc  Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael  Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel  Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter  Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham,  Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert  Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner,  Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley,  Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason,  Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom  Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner,  Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward,  Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths,  Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant,  Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn,  Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional  links; HappyToast for image
   challenge  help; and Dr Dunno for extra
   support.  Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
   (You're  welcome - Kat)
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke,  Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley.  Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion  Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER  ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw,  Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic,  Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith,  Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell.  And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver,  James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay  Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave  Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special  love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   NEW  NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
   Jobling  & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
   Douglas  Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
   We  love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to
   Alex  Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul
   Blanchard  - you sexy people. And Mike Powell
   and  Damion Brown and Ross Carter and PJ. Ooooh
   and  John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran.  Love you. And a special thank you to
   the  super generous Paul Topping. And a thank
   you  to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated  Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray  Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg.  YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
   Attila  Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
   YOU.  And new new thanks to Dale Goodall,
   Gillian  Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan
   Norton.  Thank you, you kind humans. And...
   Leighton  Stevenson, Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil
   Bennett.  Thx. BONUS THANKS: Gillian Parrott,
   Funny_hat  & Gub~gub.
   And do please donate as you get occasional
   "bonus"  content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : AH FUCK IT, BONUS FESSHOLE
   "My wife & I don't have a 'side' in our bed.
   Whoever  goes to bed just picks a side & that's
   theirs  for the night. Not sure I can tell any
   friends  or family as they'd probably think
   we're  murderers."

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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