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   NEWSLETTER: "OPENING THIS EMAIL WILL CURE YOUR HORRIBLE PERSONALITY"
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 This Week:
 * TOY - Infinite Superman II blowing scene gen
 * BING - the TRUTH about AI, not the Friends bloke
 * FESSHOLE LIVE - coming to Scotland in April
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're hammering nails
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   into our dicks for
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  web clicks... together"
 B3ta email 848 - 17th Feb 2023
 Read this out on a sinister numbers station:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue849
 Subscribe: https://b3ta.com/subscribe/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK #1
   Other than making suspicious stains on the sofa
   * INFINITE SUPERMAN II BADDIES BLOWING AT THINGS
   SIMULATOR - Monkeon writesm "I like this scene
   from Superman II, in which General Zod and his
   goth chums cause chaos by blowing. This is my
   attempt to make that already overlong moment go
   on forever, using random windy gifs from Giphy.
   My favourite thing I have seen it generate is a
   nice bit of whimsy in which they are using their
   super-puff powers to get the washing dry." We
   are amused. And if anyone at the palace is
   listening, surely Monkeon deserves an honour by
   now for entertain the troops for 20 odd years.
 https://monkeon.co.uk/general-zod-chaos-generator/
   * THE THING ABOUT BING - Simon Willison has been
   tackling all that AI malarky where Bing is being
   very weird indeed, "This has all got so weird so
   quickly. It's like Microsoft are doing a speed
   run of every science fiction AI story all at
   once, with all of the safety filters turned
   off." This is a must read.
 https://simonwillison.net/2023/Feb/15/bing/
   * FIRST FESSHOLE SHOW IN SCOTLAND - your editor
   is bringing Fesshole Live to Edinburgh on April
   25th at the legendary Monkey Barrel. Tickets on
   sale NOW.
 https://www.designmynight.com/edinburgh/whats-on/c...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   Go on, buy some lovely clothes for bodies
   Brrr! All this cold weather and you're all still
   wearing shorts like it's the middle of summer.
   Help is at hand from Hebtro who make sturdy
   winter clothes, built to last, and will stop
   your leggies getting all chilly. Made in the UK
   too, which means they won't get stuck in customs
   like that pound of cocaine you just ordered.
 https://hebtro.co/new/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your confessions vomited up in the confession bin
   Each week you spew your lies and half-truths
   into a Google form and we pick out a few that we
   think Bono from U2 would like:
   * TEASPIRACY - "I am the finance controller for
   my organisation. The admin team order Tetley
   teabags and are confused every time when
   Yorkshire arrive. Little do they know, I amend
   the PO and remove Tetleys and replace it with
   Yorkshire. I will not drink that piss water"
   * HR BANTS WANK - "I work in HR; when I
   interview I always start the meeting with "Hello
   there". If the candidate responds with 'General
   Kenobi' they get the job, no matter what. I have
   hired three people who were useless purely based
   on this."
   * IS THIS YOU BORIS? - "I have no idea what my
   job is, I just respond positively to emails and
   say to anyone copied in 'you should be able to
   get that sorted, right ?' They even promoted me
   and I asked whats involved. 'Just keep doing
   what your doing for more pay.'"
   If this is your bag then we pity you, all
   894,000 of you.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/
   You might as well buy the book, we're not going
   to stop mentioning it, it only costs £6.49 and
   if you really hate it we might do another for
   next Christmas but make it the colour of piss.
 https://amzn.to/3EQU6wb
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Some content from the external B3ta universe
   * SPAGHETTIFY YOUR CODE - Code too tidy?  Well,
   no.  But if it is, then this extension allows
   you to make it a nightmare for anyone to take
   over.  Run it on your work before resigning from
   your job at Twitter.
 https://spaghettify.dev
   * OLD COMPUTERS ON THE SCREEN - This collection
   of computers in TV and the Movies is about 15
   years old, but it's been continuously updated in
   that time, and we'd recommend a (re)visit for
   how impressive it is now. See Dawn French on an
   Acorn Electron. John Cleese on a BBC Micro. What
   more could you want?
 https://starringthecomputer.com
   * INFINITE DOMINO RING - bloke builds an endless
   dominos loop using Lego. Beautiful and
   fascinating. Much like how we find our own
   dicks.
 https://b3ta.com/links/ClackClackClackClackClackCl...
   * THE LADY IN RED by Chris De Burgh performed by
   the man from the British Pork advert. Niche
   comedy totally aimed at our heart.
 https://b3ta.com/links/THE_LADY_IN_RED_by_Chris_De...
   * THE WORST KEYBOARDS EVER - do you want to see
   a thread of truly terrible and weird keyboards?
   Of course you do. Ideal for writing the B3ta
   newsletter in a bad mood.
 https://twitter.com/mwichary/status/16248864599109...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK #2
   Other than making their parents despair
   * LOVE ACTION BY HUMAN LEAGUE, MISUNDERSTOOD
   HORRIBLY - Merkinhead has done more of his
   finding people whose names sound like lyrics and
   writes "More niche name-punning nonsense for 80s
   kids and speed-readers." Still nice to hear a
   bit of lads and lasses from the League.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Larf_Action
 
   * BUY HAPPY TOAST PRINTS - Chris writes, "I
   personally think you should include something
   about HappyToast's closing down sale on his
   print shop website. Top chap and deserves all
   the sales he can get." Yep, go on, buy some of
   HappyToast's prints before he shuts all this
   stuff down - this could be your last chance.
 https://happytoast.co.uk/drawings/
   * WATCH FILMS WITH MATT ROUND - he writes, "I've
   updated Voleflix with dozens more free movies."
   We do like this project in theory but we would
   like to be guided through what was worth
   watching a little more. What is the most user
   reviewed? What does the Vole meister recommend?
 https://vole.wtf/voleflix/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : ONE SUBJECT TWITTER ACCOUNTS OF THE WEEK
   Because if it's one subject, people follow 
   * OLD LONELY HEARTS - Quite enjoying this social
   media account that's posting ancient dating ads
   from the 1920s or whenever.
 https://twitter.com/TheLinkAds
   * BEATLES GAGS - Riffing on the Beatles story
   where George Martin asked if there was anything
   that they didn't like and George Harrison
   replied, "well we don't like your tie for a
   start".
 https://twitter.com/dontlikeyourtie
 -------------------------------------------------
 : GOATSE OF THE WEEK
   Stop sending this in, please, we hate it
   Dave Fairding writes, "My internet provider is
   either smugly aware or blissfully ignorant of
   the associations of their logo."
 https://webmail.westnet.com.au/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THE RETURN OF THE FRIDAY GAME
   Taboo vs AI
   This week's not-shit AI project succeeds by
   playing on the predictably dull answers ChatGPT
   gives and allows you to play a game of Taboo
   against it.  Quite easy, but fun working out
   ways to cheat via your knowledge of how it
   responds.
 https://taboo-ai.vercel.app
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FOLLOW UPS
   What happened next to some newsletter stuff
   * HOW MANY WORLD CUPS DO YOU HAVE LEFT?
   rob-frankosonic writes, "My shit idea was
   published in the "things we'd like to see"
   section of B3ta email 809 - 04 Mar 2022. Now
   I've had a go building it."
 http://www.duckworthsquare.com/worldcupsleft/
   * BARKER'S ART REACHES THE PAPERS - Chris
   Barker's art has hit the only publication that
   counts: The Camden New Journal.
 https://twitter.com/christhebarker/status/16261525...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick you off
   * FUNNIER CLONE OF 'COST OF BREXIT' SITE -
   wouldn't this be more fun with examples like '
   12 billion Daphne and Celeste CDs' and
   '1,809,630 Mr Blobby Costumes'
 http://costofbrexit.com
   * POSH OR NOT - MJ Hibbett (yes, him) asks,
   "Please can somebody develop an App called
   'PoshOrNot' that tells you whether the annoying
   commentator/columnist on telly went to Private
   School or not. It could probably just be a piece
   of paper saying 'YES' but it would save me
   googling every time a new drawling wazzock pops
   up suggesting tax cuts."
  
   * WIKAIPEDIA - If you fancied making a rival to
   Wikipedia, you could probably spin up AI to
   generate the first draft in a day, but then, and
   here's the crucial bit: still get humans to fix
   the 12 billion errors over the next 20 odd
   years.
   Don't be a plonky, send your projects to the
   Magic Donkey:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You're welcome - Kat)
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
   Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
   YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
   Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
   you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
   Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS
   THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub.
   And do please donate as you get occasional
   "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : AH FUCK IT, BONUS FESSHOLE
   "I live alone & when I moved into my apartment
   the bloke opposite made it clear he fancied me,
   I wasn't interested but when he asked me in for
   Thai food I saw it as an opportunity to take a
   photo of his WIFI box. It's been over 2 years
   now, he's clueless & saved me about a grand."

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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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