we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 84: "THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO SPECIAL" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * VIDEO - Ouch hurty stuff * ANIM - Hippo Girl * PARTY - Come and see ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Awww. Sleepy Kittens << "Aren't cats cute?", writes Rob Manuel, "Especially little, sleepy ones. I've made a slide show of my favourites and written a song on why they are so useless at getting stuff done." http://b3ta.com/sleepy-kittens/ >> Bush Speech Writer << Matthew Woodman's Flash toy does what it says on the tin: You can arrange phrases to make George W Bush say whatever you want. The idea has been done before, but this is a really nice execution of it. http://www.actofme.co.uk/bush_speech/bushspeechwri... >> Pot Or Not << In the great tradition of b3ta either/or quizzes, Nathaniel Levan has made a quiz to test your drug identification skills: can you tell a marijuana leaf from a spider plant? http://www.howardandpeanut.com/potornot/ ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO II Sticking fireworks to bikes "BMX + Rockets = Mucho fun" writes Gavin Ashton. And he's not wrong. Not sure if it makes you go any faster but it does look fucking cool. http://g.f.ashton.users.btopenworld.com/rocketbmx.... ------------------------------------------------- : MORE STUFF B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING Arse, Weebl & Floppy >> Floppy Disk Spaceships << Remember floppy disks? They were the square plastic things that fitted into that mysteriously useless slot on your computer. TheTruffleShuffle has found a use for them: making scale models of famous spacecraft. http://sdcc15.ucsd.edu/~mrossmas/recycle.html >> Drunken Student Arses << Bumheading is the new craze sweeping the nation's student halls. But that's no reason to hate it. It involves getting your mates drunk and sticking your bottom in their faces whilst they sleep. This is in no way homosexual. Thanks Jyhnln. http://hometown.aol.co.uk/jyhnln/Bumheads.html >> Weebl Goes Shopping << The latest episode of Weebl & Bob has a nice tune towards the end. Its creator Jonti Picking has been walking about B3ta HQ singing it for about 3 days. We haven't killed him. Yet. http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/trim.htm ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO III DIY tattoos Ecclesia got herself tattooed without all the inconvenience of going to a tattooist, or using proper equipment. She writes, "The guy used a chopped-up Walkman, 9 volt battery, and a clicky-pen. It tickled." It looks shit, but we admire her stupidity. http://www.b3ta.com/board/1017769 ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld << The US Secretary of Defence, most famous for wanting to kick Saddam's butt out of Iraq, is also an accomplished poet. His work deals sensitively with existential dilemmas. Well, perhaps not, but web magazine The Slate has produced these surprisingly convincing excerpts from his press statements. http://slate.msn.com/id/2081042 >> Make Your Own Dancing Freak << Choose from a list of creatures, then change the settings to move bits around and animate them. With a little effort you could make it do pretty much anything. We just used the randomise button and laughed at the parade of misshapen cavorting abominations. Cool. http://www.lecielestbleu.com/media/puppettoolframe... >> Geeks. Look. Something for you. << Influenced by Apple's recent 'Switch' campaign, check out this animated parody ad for the Linux operating system (much beloved by the... more technically-inclined). Funny. Has goats. http://www.ubergeek.tv/switchlinux/ >> Death Star Pong << Pleasing variation on the arcade classic pong. Bloody big bat and tiny targets makes for an entertaining five minute challenge. Didn't make us want to wank. At first. http://rain.prohosting.com/4guitars/arcade/ponglin... >> Tinned Meat Museum << Meat. What is it? Where does it come from? From tins of course. Fucking 100s of them. Here are some of the best. Collected by a lady. http://www.pottedmeatmuseum.com/. ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IV Spit alcohol on open flames Ever wondered what would happen if you spat a mouthful of absinthe over a burning book? D the Elder quite obviously has. With only the aid of some cheap moonshine liquor and the protection that God gives fools, he chanced his eyebrows against gigantic sheets of burning flame. http://www.brainwrong.com/dc1a/ulthm2.htm ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Modern Fairytale Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted modern fairytales: http://b3ta.com/challenge/fairytales/ We asked B3ta boarder 'Sue Denham' to judge the entries - here are her 3 faves. Sue writes - #1 "Ingmar Bergman's Cinderella - wonderful idea, great subtitles. I love this to bits. (hairy canary) http://b3ta.com/board/1018658 #2 "Sleeping Beauty - so subtle you'd miss it the first time, this amused me greatly. (Who Else) http://b3ta.com/board/1010203 #3 "The boy who cried... - mime jokes are always good, and this one has just the right level of vindictiveness." (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/1018839 >> This Weeks Challenge << This week, B3ta contributor Monkeon gave us the suggestion, "Tabloid Photostories" http://b3ta.com/challenge/tabloidphotostories/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * SHIPPING NEWS TUNE - Braces Tower writes "my Shipping Forecast tune has made it into the Radio 4 Presentation Office. Apparently the presenters featured on it are really chuffed. So am I." http://makeashorterlink.com/ * MAN MILK OR MOO MILK - stunningly popular in Japan. We don't know why. But they loved it. http://www.b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/ * RATHERGOOD NOMINATED FOR WEBBY AWARD - Joel Veitch is vaguely concerned that he's been placed in the 'weird' section. http://www.webbyawards.com/main/webby_awards/nomin... ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * MORE VIOLENCE - we have a taste for blood now. What about branding yourself with a heated coat hanger? You could make a nice kitten shape on your forehead. * NERD KNITTING - why not make a Dr Who scarf? Space invader stockings? Or even a Pong hat? * HARDWARE HACKS - can you make your iPod play Galaxian? Or upgrade your kitten with gills? Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Zog, Tom Gregory & Fiona. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the seven b4ta dwarfs. (62699) ------------------------------------------------- Cooking tip: If you are preparing a stew or soup and have made the dish too salty, simply throw in a raw potato. The potato will draw the salt out and salvage that all-important dinner party. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive