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   NEWSLETTER: "FUCK ALAN SUGAR, FOLLOW B3TA ON MYSPACE"
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 This Week:
 * BEST B3TA IMAGES - as posted this week
 * BUY MATT ROUND - he's for sale, sort of
 * MAKE AI POKEMON - if you like, no one is making you
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |    "We're confused if
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   the world is doomed
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   or not ... together"
 B3ta email 838 - 18 Nov 2022
 Read this issue in a loud voice on the train:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue838
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making the authorities nervous
   * BUY MATT ROUND - The Vole.WTF operator says,
   "They say everyone has their price... so we
   calculated ours! It's the perfect ecommerce site
   for bored millionaires and desperate SEO
   managers with link targets." Mainly we enjoyed
   this for the 'barter bot' that allowed us to see
   how low Matt would go.
 https://vole.wtf/buy-this-site/
   * MJ HIBBETT MAKES ANOTHER VIDEO - this one
   something about having a bad back. Oh the perils
   of being an ageing cult figure on the internet.
   Not something we know about, as we're very very
   young.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Bad_Back_Osteopaths_Of_Glor...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your confessions, dished up as entertainment
 
   Each week you shit in a bin and we fish bits out
   and ask the internet "are you horrible enough to
   click 'like' on this?"
   * PORN  - "I had to fake a call to Virgin Media
   in front of my wife - including pretending to
   hold for 10 mins - after porn appeared on the
   telly while the kids were watching. I'd
   accidentally screencast it while enjoying a
   private moment upstairs."
   * CUNNING - "I found some car keys on the ground
   in a car park. Before handing them into lost
   property I swapped their clubcard key ring for a
   spare one of mine so they'd rack up points for
   me."
   * REGRET - "For 10 years my husband has wanted
   me to poo on him in bed. I've always said no
   because I think it's disgusting. About two weeks
   ago, I gave in and did it. It was completely
   disgusting, he looked repulsed, barely touched
   it and neither of us has mentioned it since."
   Follow now on a network that is possibly burning
   to the ground just at the point we've got over
   700,000 followers.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/
   Buy the book, buy the fucking book, either on
   Amazon, or in Waterstones as we understand
   they're stocking it and sticking it on tables
   like a proper novel by Jeffrey Archer.
 https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   Christmas means durable stocking fillers
   It's coming up to Christmas, so it's time to buy
   the men in your life some durable jeans and
   shirts so they look swish for the new year. Buy
   lots of them too so that Hebtro don't think it's
   a bad idea to keep sponsoring this terrible
   newsletter. Link goes to all the new stuff, so
   get gift buying.
 https://hebtro.co/new/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Future broken links for the WayBack Machine
  
   * AI POKEMON GENERATOR - fun to be had by typing
   stuff like 'Hitler' and 'Donald Trump' to see
   the Pokemon it spits out.
  https://replicate.com/lambdal/text-to-pokemon
   * I DO NOT WANT A MASTODON - the recent Twitter
   meltdown has produced a playable RPG, which to
   be fair, we haven't played, but we're amused
   that it exists.
 https://www.patreon.com/posts/i-do-not-want-745554...
   * WATCH THE DEATHTHROWS OF TWITTER - The
   web3isgoinggreat.com format has been
   reappropriated here in order to follow Elon's
   progress in the trashing of his new toy. The
   killer feature of the web3 site was a totaliser
   showing how much money has been lost over time.
   Perhaps a similar thing could be done to show
   how much of Elon's reputation as a tech genius
   has evaporated so far.
 https://twitterisgoinggreat.com
   * BEST ANIMATED PIXEL ART EVER? This person is
   creating a massive pixelly animation, one block
   at a time. Like a geek culture version of The
   Garden of Earthly Delights, it's a joy to browse
   around and look at the weird shit going on.
   Hopefully they've put a Where's Wally in there
   somewhere to find. Jim'll Paint It should do a
   British version.
 https://floor796.com
   * CUTE PUZZLE GAME - We remember enjoying the
   prototype of this puzzle which was released last
   year, and it's now become a daily challenge
   site. Based on the river crossing puzzle, it
   requires similar thinking to solve, though the
   dog doesn't eat the bunny if they sit on the
   same circle, so less peril.
 https://dogbunnypuzzle.com
 -------------------------------------------------
 : BEST IMAGES THIS WEEK
   The bestest images from b3ta slash board
   * Happytoast makes Elon Musk joke
 https://b3ta.com/board/11381416
   * Monkeon makes Tory joke
 https://b3ta.com/board/11381341
   * Monkeon makes Zuckeberg joke
 https://b3ta.com/board/11381519
   If using CorelDraw to make humorous images is
   your "bag" then boy do we have the internet
   website for you.
 https://b3ta.com/board
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick you off
   * SQUINTHUB - a porn site where the blurry
   low-res pics get sharper the more people look at
   them
   * THE 'LEVETIN EFFECT' GAME - people are quite
   good at remembering the pitches of songs, that
   could be a game couldn't it?
   * A VERSION OF FESSHOLE FOR JUST PEOPLE
   CONFESSING TO KISSING TORIES TO CELEBRATE KEIR
   STARMER'S RECENT CONFESSION - we could probably
   make this just from the unpublished stuff.
   You can talk to us. If you're lonely you can
   talk to us.
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
   Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
   YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
   Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
   you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
   Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.
   And do please donate as you get occasional
   "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
   Bhison makes his apologies
   Why are shoes like a naughty greengrocer?
   They come in pairs.
 https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...

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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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