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   NEWSLETTER: "IS BOY GEORGE A GRAMMAR NAZI? NAH HE'S A COMMA COMMA COMMA
   COMMA COMMA COMEDIAN"
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 This Week:
 * NICHE MUSEUMS - finally on tweets
 * PARK BENCHES - created by shit AI
 * TICKETS FOR FESSHOLE2 - now on sale
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 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the internet
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  for afters, maybe with a
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  glass of port... together"
 B3ta email 814 - 16 Apr 2022
 Read this issue to your poor understanding mum:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue814
 -------------------------------------------------
 : UPSHOT SPONSORSHIP
   "The funniest thing in my inbox"
   If you like sport, you'll love the Upshot - a
   weekly newsletter dishing out gossip,
   controversy and tasteless jokes from the world
   of British sport.
   Sign up for free and get a three minute mood
   enhancer every Friday.
 https://upshot.email/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making sweet love to their palms
   * THIS BENCH DOES NOT EXIST - Terence Eden has
   been asking people to photograph park benches
   for a few years and now has thrown them into an
   AI/Gan thing and tells us, "Humans are weird
   little creatures. Our brains will quite happily
   look at a cloud and see a rabbit. But show them
   an AI generated photo of something that doesn't
   look quite right and they'll get The Fear™.
   This project is an important exploration of the
   Uncanny Valley. Or, I just had loads of photos
   and a mate with a super computer. You decide."
 https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2022/04/this-bench-does-n...
   * 'NICHE MUSEUMS' TWITTER ACCOUNT - Simon
   Willison has featured in this parish before for
   his blog where he writes up niche museums, he's
   now launched a Twitter version for people who
   find blogs just too bloggy and tells us "It
   turns out hunting down and cataloguing weird
   little museums is the most rewarding hobby I've
   ever stumbled across. Once you start looking for
   them they turn up all over the place, and if
   they're small enough the topic doesn't matter in
   the slightest, why matters is that someone cared
   enough to make a museum about them - and there's
   a good chance that person is sat there waiting
   to show you around."
 https://twitter.com/nichemuseums
   * AI IMAGES BASED ON PROVERBS - Shardcore has
   been feeding proverbs like "the grass is greener
   on the other side" into an image generation AI
   and tells us "AI is brilliant at everything, and
   we’re all out of a job. Except, it turns out, at
   understanding proverbs. So your Gran is still
   useful for something, then."
 https://shardcore.org/shardpress2019/2022/04/07/pr...
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 : FESSHOLE
   Your fesses fessed up for cheap lols
   Each week you throw your truths and lies into a
   bin and we fish out a few for useless internet
   likes:
   * WELL PLAYED - "I spent the entire shift of a
   dull student job listening to two female
   colleagues chatting in Greek, punctuated by
   filthy laughs. When I got up to go, I gave them
   a cheery smile and said 'kalinikta' - good
   night. The panic on their faces was priceless.
   It's the only Greek I know."
   * YOU'RE GOING TO COPY THIS - "When people leave
   work and their leaving card is doing the rounds,
   I write hearts and kisses under other peoples
   names, the more inappropriate the better."
   * WE'VE ALL DONE IT - "Police pulled me over and
   asked why I was driving up and down the road
   late at night, I came clean and explained my
   mileage was 80 thousand and 84 miles and I
   needed 1 more mile to make 80085, i.e. BOOBS."
   Join the 468,000 people who thought they were
   following the chaotic club photos account but
   who misclicked, the fat-thumbed twats.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE LIVE 2 - PIG IN THE CITY
   Wed, 11th May 2022 - Central London, oh yeah
   You know what? The first show in Soho actually
   went well, there was a lot of laughter in the
   room and no one booted your editor off the stage
   so we're doing it again. We've got a great
   location in Lola's Underground Casino, just off
   Leicester Square and a bank of video screens to
   play with. Do come as we can promise a bit of a
   history our stupid web projects along with a
   delve into the worst of Fesshole, and this is
   your chance to accost the man whose newsletter
   you've been reading for 20 years and ask him
   "why didn't you feature my penis based flash
   animation in 2002?"
 https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/come...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some lovely clothes from some lovely people
   Hey it's Easter Weekend, you could celebrate it
   with chocolate, but what would be even better
   would be some very fancy jeans, made in the UK
   and made to last. Every single stitch is magic.
 https://hebtro.co/shop/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Content to make Albino Black Sheep shit the bed
   * GAMES MADE TO LOOK TINY WITH TILT SHIFT - this
   filter must be automatically installed on our
   phone coz our penis looks much the same.
 https://youtube.com/watch
   * HOBBY GENERATOR - This site generates random
   entries from Wikipedia's hobby list, should you
   be looking for something new to do this weekend.
   Channel 5 should mix this data with Wikipedia's
   list of 90s British celebrities to generate
   their Partridge-esque show ideas. Gongoozling
   with Dani Behr.
 https://offtions.com/hobbies/
   * THE MYSTERY OF THE 'RIGHT ANGLE WITH DOWNWARDS
   ZIGZAG ARROW' - Did you know that Unicode
   contains a symbol which nobody knows what it
   means? No one. Unless you do that is.
 https://ionathan.ch/2022/04/09/angzarr.html
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAME
   Get ready for the raw adrenaline of 'weigh off'
   A simple but surprisingly fun guessing game
   about weights.  Which is heaviest: 100,000 bees
   or 2 Geoff Capes? That sort of thing.
 https://weighoff.net
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
   Free ideas to kick you off
   * JIMMY SAVILE GHOSTBUSTERS POKEMON GO - can
   someone make a real-world ghost catching game,
   where you have to trawl through the streets of
   Leeds catching Savile's ghost? Or maybe Dennis
   Nilsen's ghost in the leafy North London streets
   of Cranley Gardens? Surely Britain has enough
   evil dead people to make this possible?
   * TALKING HEADS VS QWOP - Monkeon has thought up
   a great idea for a game that if we had the
   budget to commission stuff, we'd commission
   RIGHT NOW.
 https://twitter.com/b3ta/status/151296289149802087...
   * A MRS BROWN BOYS HOT TAKES GENERATOR - is
   there anything left to say? Maybe code can help.
   TELL US ABOUT YOUR SHITS:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY!
   And do please donate as you get occasional
   "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
   Herniated wishes to apologies for this:
   Why did Greta Thunberg cross the road? To
   complain about my bonfire of old fridges and car
   tyres.
 https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/

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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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