we love the web
    
   email us
   go to messageboard newsletter archive home
   NEWSLETTER: "SANCTIONS BITE AS TORIES ASK SPOTIFY TO BLOCK RASPUTIN BY
   BONEY M"
   next issue »
   « previous issue

 This Week:
 * CHALLENGE - Yeah it's time to potatoswap Putin
 * FESSHOLE LIVE! Second show announced (tickets)
 * INSPIRATION - Old cinema ads
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |    "We're saving the web
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   by copying it into a big
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   Google doc... together"
 B3ta email 809 - 04 Mar 2022
 Read this issue out loud to the Speaking Clock:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue809
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Content from the content monkeys
   * B3TA SANCTIONS PUTIN, WEEK TWO - we might as
   well get the old B3ta war horse pumping out
   anti-Putin memes, something to do whilst we wait
   for it to either escalate into Europe-wide war
   or not. 60 odd entries so far, it's the subject
   of the moment, so we imagine there will be more
   coming.
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/putin2/popular
   * BUY TICKETS FOR FESSHOLE LIVE! Our first show
   (April) has sold out so we've booked a second
   show for May. Tickets £12 on early bird so grab
   them quick. Nearest tube: Leicester Sq.
 https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/come...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some lovely clothes to make yourself look
   fab
   Are you dressed like a fucking clown? Are you
   wearing clown shoes, a big wig and a red nose?
   Then Hebtro is here to help and they'll fit you
   out in fine threads, made in England and made to
   last. Thanks Hebbers.
 https://hebtro.co/shop/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your fesses fessed up for fess likes
   Each week you shit into a bin and we fish out
   the meatiest chunks to digest again. It's the
   circle of life.
   * FREEDOM - "I've been utterly besotted by a
   taken man for most of my adult life. Knew
   nothing would ever happen but still fantasised.
   He recently used 'holibobs' in a text and I am
   finally, mercifully, 100% cured."
   * BOOKS - "When I worked at the local library,
   everytime we received a new book by Nadine
   Dorries I marked it as damaged and threw it
   straight in the bin. Did the same with David
   Cameron's autobiography."
   * LOVE - "I once read an article about a woman
   who said 'yes' to anyone who asked her out on a
   date for a year. That week a guy asked me out at
   a bar. I didn't fancy him at all but I
   remembered the article and said yes. We've been
   married for 7 years. I've never told him."
   Join the 367k people who should have their
   microfiche inspected by Hercule Poirot.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FROM THE B3TA ARCHIVES
   The 'I Love You' Kitten
   Back in the early days of b3ta this is what
   passed for viral entertainment. This literally
   did millions of views. What a world.
 https://www2.b3ta.com/i-love-you/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Sites for Yahoo! to add to their directory
   * OLD CINEMA ADS - Ever since we wrote a bot
   that pumped out old Smash Hits we've been
   desperate for someone to open an account that
   pumps out old cinema ads as inspiration for what
   to download. Thank you internet for giving us
   this joy.
 https://twitter.com/Mag1cH0ur
   * PONG WHERE YOU PLAY THE BALL - finally someone
   has worked out how to reverse Pong.
 https://www.lessmilk.com/almost-pong/
   * THIS WEEKS 808/303 SIMULATOR - seeing as
   everyone and their dog has made a web simulation
   of Roland's finest acid synths, Roland
   themselves have got into the act. Just keep
   pressing random if you're stuck.
 https://roland50.studio/
   * WORDLE RIP OFF VOLUME 9 - the best attempt at
   being the new Wordle we've seen this week is
   this Boggle rip-off, which adds a tile-matching
   element which may or may not be enough to get
   around the potential copyright issues, even
   though the name is a bit of a give-away.
 https://voggle.com
   * DINOSAUR GAME - If you want to play the
   Dinosaur Game but are paranoid about Mr Google
   spying on you with Chrome, then this site lets
   you play it on any browser.  It also gives more
   information about the game than you could ever
   possibly want, and has added an international
   competition element. Russia currently has the
   most points, so play this if you want to do
   something pointless on the internet in order to
   show Vlad what for.
 https://dinosaurgame.net
   * THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF 90S MUSIC IN ONE VIDEO -
   we enjoyed this 90s mashup by The Hood Internet,
   which made us all nostalgic for the naughties
   when such mashups were still cool.
 https://youtube.com/watch
 -------------------------------------------------
 : BEST IMAGES THIS WEEK
   The world as viewed through G-Paint on the CPC
   * The living God that is is Monkeon has been
   making jokes about the weather:
 https://b3ta.com/board/11362203
   * Actually he's made another one too.
 https://b3ta.com/board/11362204
   * And a quick shout out to Ninj's Blackadder
   take on ABBA
 https://b3ta.com/board/11362266
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THE RETURN OF GOATSE CORNER
   Three fucking weeks now, please stop it
   Luke Hall continues the physical pain of this
   unwanted feature and writes, "Another
   London-based Goatse disaster for you, north of
   the river this time. This is one I remember from
   the walk between Highbury & Islington and
   Camden. Right opposite Pentonville so that might
   explain the name _and_ the unfortunate logo."
   Can everyone please stop bullying us with this
   stuff?
 https://t.co/kYYgvaPd67
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
   Some shit ideas to kick you off
   * THREADS, THE TEXT ADVENTURE - surely, what
   with nuclear armageddon on everyone's lips, now
   is the time to port this BBC drama classic to
   the Amstrad CPC 464?
   * HOW MANY WORLD CUPS DO I HAVE LEFT?
   Frankiemachine writes, "Just before the last
   world cup i was at a football match and the
   miserable old gits behind me were trying to work
   out how many world cups they had left before
   they died. If I had the skills I would make a
   calculator that took your current age, country
   etc, and then divided how many years you have
   left by 4. Stupidness aside, it did make me
   think it was quite a good way of making you
   realise how life is short and we should make the
   most of it."
   * ONE MORE FUCKING IDEA TO FILL THIS BIT -
   listen up dear readers, just sending us stupid
   ideas for projects means we don't have to write
   this bit, please help.
   We read all your emails - send us some.
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY!
   And do please donate as you get occasional
   "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
   Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic apologies
   My dog has no dictionary.
   How does it spell terrible?
 https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/

   next issue »
   « previous issue
   Newsletter
   We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net.

   _____________________ [ go ]
   --------------------
   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
   --------------------

   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

   READ LATEST ISSUE
   archive