we love the web
    
   email us
   go to messageboard newsletter archive home
   NEWSLETTER: "8 HOUR DOCUMENTARY ABOUT WRITING THE B3TA NEWSLETTER REJECTED
   BY DISNEY+"
   next issue »
   « previous issue

 This Week:
 * KUNT'S VIDEO - it's out!
 * MONSTER PUN AMNESTY - challenge results
 * FESSHOLE - let's link to the best of. Yay.
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |   "We're saving the web
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | with CTRL+S & then backing
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| it up on a ZX Microdrive"
 B3ta o-mail 798 - 3th Ant & December 2021
 Read this issue in a sarcastic voice and give up:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue798
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making a mess in the bathroom
   * KUNT VIDEO NOW OUT, the prepublicity for
   Kunt's attempt at a Xmas no 1 single continues
   and he's brought out a Timelords/KLF style
   single. There's going to be remixes too -
   including one from someone very close to this
   newsletter.
 http://borisjohnson.info/
   * RNLI XMAS CARD SALES - DR Dunno AKA Chris
   Barker writes, "Wow. What an incredible
   difference a plug in the b3ta newsletter makes
   - even this century. Sold hundreds. All
   profits have gone to RNLI and someone said
   they’re going to send one to that cunt Farage
   which sounds like a great idea to me. There
   should still be time if anyone else wants
   to..."
 https://www.redbubble.com/i/greeting-card/Season-o...
   * NOVEL EGG TIMER IDEA - jurassicpaul writes,
   "I may have had too much time on my hands
   during lockdown..."
 https://b3ta.com/links/Novel_egg_timer_idea
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
   Remember it's nearly Christmas
   Each week we remind you that it's nearly
   Christmas and that a good idea for presents
   for the men in your life would be clothes from
   Hebtro, and then invariably someone pipes up
   saying "what about women?" and yet you can buy
   them sturdy jeans and boots too if they're
   into that. Anyway, thank you Hebtro for
   supporting B3ta and Fesshole, we really do
   appreciate it, so readers of our web bollocks,
   please go and buy some stuff.
 https://hebtro.co/shop/
 -------------------------------------------------
 FYI: Chris of EggPod is going to do a month long
 podcast following the Get Back documentary in
 real time. Well not a month long, but a podcast
 for each day. So stick that in your Sanyo
 boombox for Jan 2022. Will also be compatible
 with Matsui tape to tape decks, if you haven't
 upgraded yet.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your confessions
   Each week we ask you to spew fibs into the lie
   bin and we pick out a few to tweet out for
   worthless internet points:
   * WHIMSY - "I like to flick through boxes of
   After Eight Mints imagining that I'm a giant
   DJ"
   * ROBOTS - "A couple of months ago I spent
   £650 on a robotic hoover - my wife went
   nuclear!! It's utter shite tbh, but to save
   face I wait until she's gone out and then I
   get our vax out and let the robotic one take
   the credit."
   * PUBLISHING - "I'm a reasonably well-known
   author. I like nothing more than buying my own
   books for £2 on eBay so I can autograph them
   and sell them at a profit."
   Join the, christ, 207k people who should know
   better - link goes to the best of October so
   that's worth a click if clicking is your
   thing.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/14660204228483...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Content made by people who probably hate us
   * FUCK ADVERTS - we were fantasing that Ad
   Block would be even better if it also clicked
   the ads to fuck up all the metrics for the
   advertisers and turns out that this exists.
   The bastards. Obviously we are hypocrites and
   the sponsorship of this newsletter doesn't
   count.
 https://adnauseam.io/
   * TUNE THAT INSPIRED KNIGHTRIDER - This week
   we learned that the composer of Knight Rider
   was very much inspired by Sphinx by Harry
   Thumann, whoever he was. Actually we know, coz
   we went down a rabbithole and found out. He
   had a minor hit with a novelty sampling track
   based around dog's barks that gave Simon
   Cowell an early taste of fame. But don't hold
   that against him, this track is banging.
 https://b3ta.com/links/The_song_the_composer_of_Kn...
   * 3D MODEL OF BBC MICRO - well that's one may
   to make emulation a bit more fun.
 https://virtual.bbcmic.ro/
   * RUDE MESSAGES SPOTIFY PLAYLIST GENERATOR -
   Send subliminal messages to people via song
   titles with this Spotify playlist generator.
   Could really do with a tweet-to-playlist
   option for the lazy, though.
 https://weirdspot.fyi
   * RASPBERRY PI CLOCK - no, come back, this one
   is quite fun we promise. Well it works in a
   ridiculous way anyway.
 https://www.raspberrypi.com/news/robot-arm-clock-t...
   * TEXT TO AI IMAGE (AGAIN) - This week's AI
   art generator is pretty and makes all AI art
   feel completely disposable and without value
   as usual.
 https://app.wombo.art/
 -------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAMES
   You're being audited - destroy the evidence
   Pretend you were part of the Trump campaign
   with this realistic speed-shredding simulator.
 https://hastilyassembled.itch.io/audit
  
 ------------------------------------------------
 What's Stevie Nicks' favourite conspiracy theory?
 Qaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanon
 Er.. thank you 'The Porcupine From Purgatory'.
 https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THIS WEEK IN IMAGES
   What's like, the /board but in three links?
   * Andy_R has returned with his traditional
   advent colander. Maybe a hi-def remaster next
   year?
 https://b3ta.com/board/11356528
   * Monkeon did one that was popular although we
   didn't get the reference
 https://b3ta.com/board/11356501
   * Our monster pun challenge got over 130
   entries which is good for us, in these wintery
   days of our decline:
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/MonsterPunAmnesty/popul...
   STOP PRESS! We do actually have a new
   challenge. Religious movies, ok?
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/religiousmovies/popular...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE NEXT WEEK
   Three ideas for your brain
   * HOW BRITISH ARE YOUR TEETH? - coz leaning
   into US perceptions about the UK is probably
   good for clicks
   * WALK AROUND A NON-ENGLISH POSTER MUSEUM WITH
   GOOGLE TRANSLATE - and see if you can get more
   stuff like this:
 https://twitter.com/babadookspinoza/status/1465101...
   * ORGANISE A MUSIC FESTIVAL - for Jim Corr,
   Right Said Fred & Ian Brown. Preferably in the
   middle of the sea.
   Stick your content up our arse:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image
   challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
   support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
   Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
   Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
   We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to
   Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul
   Blanchard - you sexy people. And Mike Powell
   and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and PJ. Ooooh
   and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping.
  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : TOP TIP
   Pretend you're Terry nutkin by letting an
   otter bite your fingers off (Kevseabass)
 https://b3ta.com/questions/toptips

   next issue »
   « previous issue
   Newsletter
   We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net.

   _____________________ [ go ]
   --------------------
   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
   --------------------

   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

   READ LATEST ISSUE
   archive