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   NEWSLETTER: "PANIC BUY B3TA NEWSLETTERS, WE BEG YOU, SOMEONE"
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 This Week:
 * QUIZ - Wiki In The Middle
 * BOT - Richard Herring Simulator
 * CHALLENGE - make tv/film more British (results)
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shitting up your
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   inbox with bad content
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ... together"
 B3ta electro-onic e-email 788 - 24 Sep 2021
 Read this issue in French if you're fancy:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue788
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than stains on the carpet
   * MUSIC QUIZ - Monkeon has made a new
   interactive puzzle, he writes, "It's can you
   guess the band from their backlinks on
   Wikipedia, so a mixture of game and the random
   article button. It amuses me that The
   Beautiful South feature on a page about
   curtained hair." Good fun - Neil Tennant is on
   the page about Lakeland Terriers, so turns out
   he did get a dog, just not a chihuahua.
 https://monkeon.co.uk/wikiinthemiddle/
   * RICHARD HERRING SIMULATOR - Your editor
   writes, 'I was chatting to the bloke who runs
   Richard Herring's merch and live streams and
   stuff @gofasterchris and then I rambled "you
   know that Smash Hits Interview bot I did? I
   could do that with Herring's emergency
   questions" and he said "do it" and my bluff
   was called. Anyway. If you fancy imagining
   you're being interviewed by Richard Herring on
   his podcast and he's reached into his book of
   emergency questions coz the proper chat is
   running dry then follow @EmergencyQbot and
   reply to it."
 https://twitter.com/EmergencyQbot
   * MAKE TV AND FILM MORE BRITISH - The "more TV
   and film more British" challenge is proving
   popular with over 200 entries - do have a
   look, it's most entertaining. B3ta challenges
   can still be quite something, occasionally,
   when we all pull together and it comes off.
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/tvorfilmmoreBritish/pop...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your fesses fessed up for the fesspocalypse
   Each week the vicar passes around a collection
   bowl and the congregation masturbate into it
   and we pick out the meatier chunks:
   * BI VISIBILITY - "I came out as bi to my
   wife. Now all she does is quiz me about what
   men I fancy, and then judging my poor taste."
   * BIGOT MUM - "My mother, while alive, was a
   relentless bigot. When she died I found out
   she'd cut me out the will and left half her
   money to the RNLI. Makes me smile to think her
   money is now helping to rescue asylum seekers
   in the Channel."
   * WHOLESOME ADVICE - "I'm 37. Instead of
   regretting that I can't wake up age 18 again,
   I pretend to myself that I'm 90 and I've woken
   up age 37 again, and that I get to magically,
   wonderfully have the next 50 years again."
   Join the 177,000 people who should have their
   home Betamax collection impounded by Bodie and
   Doyle.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some clothes ok?
   Take a good look at yourself. You could be
   smartened up couldn't you? A nice new pair of
   jeans and a jumper would take 10 years off and
   improve your self esteem. You deserve it.
 https://hebtro.co/product-category/jumpers/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Stuff made by people who hate us
 
   * THE STORY OF HOW BONNIE LANGFORD SIGNED
   AMERICAN PSYCHO - for both lols and art.
 https://www.atlasfloyd.com/cheers-drive/2020/12/29...
   * AMBIENT LOLS - There has been a real surge
   in ambient sound boards since Covid, mostly
   because people wanted to imagine being in a
   cafe instead of stressing out at home. They
   are almost all cafes. Neal's latest is a
   stupid version of this.
 https://neal.fun/ambient-chaos/
   * PONG THE DIRECTOR'S CUT - See what the
   innards of Pong look like, with this circuit
   diagram that lights up as you play.  Far
   beyond my technical knowledge, but it looks
   pretty.
 https://falstad.com/pong/vonly.html
   * KIDS DON'T UNDERSTAND FILES NOW -
   interesting article suggesting that the
   dominance of Google Docs has resulted in a
   generation of kids who are baffled at the
   concept of files.
 https://www.theverge.com/22684730/students-file-fo...
   * RESTAURANT BOT - this bot posts random
   restaurants found on Google Maps complete with
   photos. Linking it really as it's a good idea
   that could be redone with other subjects.
   Could you make one that showed computer game
   shops? Or brothels?
 https://twitter.com/_restaurant_bot
   * ROCK HORROR SHOW DEMOS - Richard O'Brien's
   original tape of him singing his ideas for the
   Rocky Horror show is charming, transporting
   and wonderfully basic. It's like a lost Bowie
   demo from 1973, or one of your mates having a
   laugh.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAME(S)
   Can you distort your face to not look like
   you?
   Can you get around face recognition by pulling
   faces? A bit seriously done, but you can
   imagine it's an online gurning contest. I'd
   like to see Phil Cool playing this.
 https://areyouyou.eu
 -------------------------------------------------
 What do the police eat at the cinema?
 Copcorn.
 Um. Thanks 'beanolabub'
 https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Nevermind
   Nirvana's Nevermind is 30 years old today.
   Let’s celebrate the album, band and cover art
   in our usual Corel draw way. Or feel free to
   use Paint Shop Pro if you're fancy.
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/nevermind
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Make some stuff that's not guff
   Some free ideas to kick you off, based on
   looking around the room we're writing in and
   looking at objects:
   * UNSCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR - you type in 2+2=
   and it denies global warming or gives you a
   very dubious theory about the moon landings.
   * DREAMIES HUMAN TASTE EXPERIMENT - cats love
   them but why? Can you munch down a few and
   find out?
   * CARDS AGAINST HANNITY - well this would be
   something about US politics and probably
   already exists, don't tell us if it does, just
   make something.
   Shit in our collective letter box:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image
   challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
   support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
   Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
   Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
   We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to
   Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul
   Blanchard - you sexy people. And Mike Powell
   and Damion Brown and Ross Carter. Love you.
  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : TOP TIP
   When offering unrequested written advice,
   always finish the sentence with "you're
   welcome" to show what an absolute cunt you
   are. (social hand grenade)
 https://b3ta.com/questions/toptips

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