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   NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S THAT SKIPPY? ANOTHER B3TA NEWSLETTER YOU'RE NOT
   OPENING? YOU'RE A SHIT, SKIPPY"
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 This Week:
 * EVERY SECOND SONG - Songs from 1 second upwards
 * EUPHEMISM QUIZ - With "real" speech
 * HOW TO MAKE AI IMAGES - the easy way
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |"We're stuffing socks into
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | our pants to make our taint
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| look bigger... together"
 B3ta internet e-mail 782 - 06 Augustus Gloop 2021
 Read this issue to your poor, confused mother:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue782
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
   * EVERY SECOND SONG - Zuowan writes, "I've
   made a Twitter feed which will post a song
   with every length, counting up one second each
   day." This is good - nice idea and looks like
   they're doing the research properly, not just
   finding YouTube clips that happen to be the
   right length.
 https://twitter.com/EverySecondSong
   * EUPHEMISM QUIZ - our mission (with Wil
   Hadden's help) to bring Sicktionary back
   online means that the terrible audio quiz now
   works too. You too can play along at home -
   make sure speakers are on.
 https://sicktionary.b3ta.com/quiz/
   * SMASH HITS BOT TURNED INTO A SPOTIFY
   PLAYLIST - remember our bot that posts random
   pages from Smash Hits? Well, @feelinglistless,
   spotted an advert in it - some compilation
   tapes made by biscuit producers McVitie's and
   has turned them into playlists. So nip to the
   shop, buy some biscuits, and get listening to
   some old pop music like it's 1984.
 https://twitter.com/feelinglistless/status/1423405...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
   Boot up with Hebtro
   If you're anything like us you spent much of
   the lockdown taking extremely long walks, as
   it was the one thing you could do that got a
   bit of exercise and was allowed. And, like us,
   you've fucked up all your shoes. We're now
   totally jonesing for some tough leather boots,
   made in Britain and designed to last a fuck of
   a long time. Can Hebtro help out? Oh yes.
 https://hebtro.co/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Confessions of a content aggregator
   Each week we ask you piss in the bin and serve
   up the best as urine soup. Here's three scoops
   of the best:
   * HOUSE - "The buyers of our house were a
   nightmare and kept slowing the whole chain
   down so I ordered 30 old keys off eBay, on
   moving day I left them on the counter with all
   the other spare house keys, just so their
   first day as a homeowner would be wasted
   trying to find what they unlocked."
   * WORK - "To avoid doing a work
   team-building-exercise long weekend - building
   rafts etc - I got my nurse mate to plaster up
   my arm. HR thought I was losing out so sent me
   a food hamper as compensation for not being
   able to go."
   * SCHOOL - "One morning during my school
   years, I knocked on my mum and dad's bedroom
   door to feign illness to get out of going to
   school. To my horror I heard them going at it
   and mean going at it - my disgust got me to
   school about half an hour early and I didn't
   speak 'til lunch time."
   And finally we'll just mention this one
   that'll strike fear into some readers' hearts:
   "My biggest fear is that if I get dementia
   I'll just sit there shouting my favourite
   pornhub searchterms." So join the 162,000
   people who should have their DropBox passwords
   passed to the police:
 https://twitter.com/fesshole
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Stuff made by people we can't claim as b3tans
   * MAKE YOUR OWN AI-GENERATED ART - simplest
   link yet for getting AI images from text
   prompts. If you do nothing else this week,
   click this and follow the very simple
   instructions. We were creating images like
   "Kate Bush made of bushes" in minutes.
 https://colab.research.google.com/drive/1n_xrgKDlG...
   * LISTEN TO OLD MUSIC - Most Reddit bots are
   horribly cynical things that scrape subreddits
   for popular content in order to repost it on
   Twitter for likes. This, however, is lovely.
   It turns the /r/cratedigger subreddit into a
   genuinely brilliant radio station of rare and
   vintage gems.
 https://vintageobscura.net
   * LENNY KRAVITZ "FLY AWAY" - This gets more
   and more hilarious as it goes on and veers
   increasingly off course. No, come back, it
   really is worth a click. Produced by Neil
   Cicierega, who ancient B3tans will remember
   from Animutation fame.
 http://b3ta.com/links/1570435
   * REMEMBER THAT FUCKED-UP SEWING WEBSITE - the
   one that they never closed the tags on? Thank
   you archive.org - you can still scroll in all
   its glory.
 https://web.archive.org/web/20140310190221/http://...
   * THE ONLY GOOD TIKTOK ACCOUNT - they say
   there's no new aesthetics in the world but
   there is this one. Keep pressing the next
   arrow to see more.
 https://www.tiktok.com/@solopsist/video/6992454804...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAME
   Bezos game
   A badly executed, but topical(ish) game in
   which you must click the billionaire grot shop
   owner into space. A welcome return of the Shit
   Is Good aesthetic from the early b3ta years.
   "We Like the Moon" would make a better
   soundtrack, though.
 https://bezosleavesearth.co/bezos/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Free ideas to keep you busy
   * POP LOCATIONS - a social media account that
   finds locations used in pop music videos from
   just the 1980s. Syon Park for the Cure's
   Caterpillar, most of NW5 for the output of
   Madness etc.
   * STRIP MONOPOLY - rewrite the rules so that
   landing on freeparking means you have sexily
   unpeel an item of clothing like a sock.
   * GLASSES FOR ARSES - why should your eyes be
   the only thing examined by your local
   optician?
   Shit in our letterbox for fun and pleasure:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image
   challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
   support. Proofing by Dav S. Thanks Dave.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
   Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
   Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
   We love you.
  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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