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   NEWSLETTER: "ISSUE 777: THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST PLUS THE BUS TO HEATHROW"
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 This Week:
 * LISTEN TO AUDIO - to plant trees
 * SWIPES FOR DADDY - Older men on Tinder. Eek
 * TENACIOUS D DOES THE BEATLES - at last (?!)
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the wub wub
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | with a campaign to bring
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| back dubstep... together"
 B3ta email 777 - 02 Jul 2021
 Read this issue backwards to summon web satan:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue777
 -------------------------------------------------
 : UPSHOT SPONSORSHIP
   Spicing up the bland world of sports coverage
   If you like sport, you'll love the Upshot - a
   weekly newsletter dishing out gossip,
   controversy and tasteless jokes from the world
   of British sport.
   Sign up for free and get a five minute hit of
   sporting filth every Friday.
 https://upshot.email/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
   Other than staycation sex tourism guides
   * LISTEN TO 30 SECONDS OF AUDIO TO HELP PLANT
   A TREE - Matt Gordon writes,
   "ThisSongPlantsTrees.com is live now. 100
   streams = 1 tree. Would appreciate it if you
   put it in the newsletter." Ooh this is a neat
   idea, using the revenue generating ability of
   Spotify to plant trees. So yeah, fuck it, this
   can go in.
 https://ThisSongPlantsTrees.com
   * CENTURIES OF SOUND 1936 - now that Zuowan's
   project to catalogue every year with recorded
   sound is creeping into the almost modern era
   we're hitting B3ta photoshop stalwarts like
   Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin. Hooray!
 https://centuriesofsound.com/2021/06/14/1936/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some lovely jeans. Or a hat. Or a shirt.
   You like wearing clothes don't you? Or are you
   a weirdo that goes to job interviews naked?
   Well if you're the former, buy the best
   clothes with Hebtro dot com, they're made in
   the UK and they last a long time because
   they're not shit.
 https://hebtro.co/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Shit confessions, fessed up, for likes
   Each week we ask you spit lies and fantasy
   into a box and we publish the bits that
   vaguely amuse us - the best in the last seven
   days:
   * WOOF - "My husband takes a supplement every
   day for his joints. What he does not realise
   is that it's actually for old dogs. I refill
   the original bottle bought from the chemist.
   Saves a fortune and am sure his hair is more
   glossy."
   * LOOK! - "When I was on holiday in Spain aged
   about 12 I took a poo in the hotel lobby
   toilet and I wouldn't flush. The cleaner was
   there, so I called them into the cubicle to
   see at the problem. I pointed at my stool,
   they looked, I hit the flush, and it went down
   first time."
   * OH SHEET! - "My wife came home after staying
   2 nights at her sister's house & she was
   massively impressed at how well I'd made the
   bed. Truth is, I got pissed & fell asleep on
   the sofa on both nights, so she's admiring her
   own work."
   Join the 151,000 people who should know
   better:
 https://twitter.com/fesshole
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Content from the great internet unwashed
   * MAKE NEW LEGO FROM YOUR OLD LEGO - Brickit
   is an app that'll scan your pile of old shitty
   Lego and tell you what new things you can make
   from it. We're installing it now so it's still
   on our phones when Lego close it down.
 https://brickit.app/
   * SWIPES FOR DADDY - collection of Tinder
   chats between young women and older men. You
   will cringe.
 https://www.instagram.com/swipes4daddy/
   * TENACIOUS D DOES THE BEATLES - You Never
   Give Me Your Money / The End as performed by
   Jack Black is a thing of wonder. A man who
   never knowingly undersells a performance. We
   love him. He's the American Brian Blessed.
 https://youtu.be/PLKUfo8RmwI
   * GIVE SPOTIFY AN IPOD INTERFACE - get your
   nostalgia by playing your tunes via this
   virtual iPod whilst having a game of Brick on
   the toilet.
 https://tannerv.com/ipod/
   * ARE YOU GENERATION X OR NOT? This will have
   taken 2 minutes to build, but it amused us
   that Glitch shared it on their Twitter - the
   lesson being that if you can't do impressive
   code projects for attention, do silly.
 https://genx-or-not.glitch.me
   * 30 MINUTE SEX PISTOLS DRAMA - found
   ourselves watching this reenactment of the
   Pistols’ Grundy interview, no, not the Amish
   version, but a drama for Sky. Surprisingly
   watchable and what with the coming Danny Boyle
   production on the same era, it might be
   holding a record for the most reenacted TV
   moment. The rotters.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
 -------------------------------------------------
 : ANON OPIN FINDS THE ROW IT WASN'T LOOKING FOR
   Driving controversy ignites the internet
   Occasionally @anon_opin has a tweet that
   explodes and it wasn't "Rik Mayall would have
   been the greatest Dr Who of all time" or even
   "Reclining your seat on an airplane means
   you're a Tory" but someone saying that people
   who haven't learned to drive are burdensome.
   Boom. So much chatter. There's a very angry TV
   show in this for someone. 700 quote tweets
   alone.
 https://twitter.com/anon_opin/status/1408529190060...
   If you have opinions, remember that @anon_opin
   is always there for you to stick your opinions
   into the opinion bin.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAME
   Doodle Bugs
   Are you so good at MS Paint that you can still
   draw when each of the colours has its own
   unique bug to work around?  Really rather
   frustrating, so try and channel the spirit of
   Bob Ross to keep you calm when playing.
 https://doodlebugs.art
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Free quiz ideas for your quizzy bot-bots
   * 'ABOUT THIS COMPANY' QUIZ - Can you guess
   what a company does from the first paragraph
   of their About Us page? Considering so many of
   them are absolutely fucking waffle about
   "going on a journey" it could be tricky.
   * 'SHOULD YOU LAUNCH A PODCAST?' QUIZ - the
   answer is no but you're going to do it anyway.
   * HOW TORY ARE YOU? You spot a fox - do you a.
   Photograph it for social media b. Hunt and
   kill it & wipe the blood on your forehead? Etc
   etc
   Send your web missives into the inbox that we
   like to call the winbox.
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image
   challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
   support. Proofing by Kat E.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
   Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
   Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
   We love you.
  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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