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   NEWSLETTER: "IMAGINE OPENING THIS NEWSLETTER WILL MAKE YOU EVEN MORE
   SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE"
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 This Week:
 * AUGMENTED REALITY SANDWICHES - Finally!
 * WICKER MAN / BOND - Mashed up together
 * CHALLENGE - Northern films (quite good)
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shitting on your
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |    boss's desk
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ... together"
 B3ta email 775 - 18th Jun 2021
 Ram this issue up your pee hole and TikTok it:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue775
 -------------------------------------------------
 : UPSHOT SPONSORSHIP
   Spicing up the bland world of sports coverage
   If you like sport, you'll love the Upshot - a
   weekly newsletter dishing out gossip,
   controversy and tasteless jokes from the world
   of British sport.
   Sign up for free and get a five minute hit of
   sporting filth every Friday.
 https://upshot.email/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than selling their back sweat as saltylick
   * WICKER MAN / BOND MASH UP - pixel twiddler
   to the stars Mozza writes, "Apart from the
   fact that both The Wicker Man (1973) and The
   Man With the Golden Gun (1975) starred
   Christopher Lee and Britt Eckland, there were
   enough similarities between the island arrival
   scenes in each to attempt a cut-and-shut. I
   shoved the clips in Final Cut and, with
   minimal tweaking, it basically mashed itself."
 https://b3ta.com/links/The_Wicker_Man_With_the_Gol...
   * AUGMENTED REALITY CRISP SANDWICH - Matt
   Round writes, "We’ve given you photos, videos,
   illustrations & 3D models, but now you can
   instantly bring a delicious 3D crisp sandwich
   right into your surroundings."
 https://vole.wtf/buttystock/ar/
   * DIY HORROR MOVIE - Jamie Hooper writes, "I
   made this short horror film during the first
   UK lockdown with what I had available... my
   phone, a cheap reading light, and my wonderful
   girlfriend. Waking up in the middle of the
   night, a young woman realises she's not alone,
   and something is taking her photo."
 https://vimeo.com/jamiehooper/darkmode
 -------------------------------------------------
 We hear eBay has banned Ian Astbury and Ultravox CDs.
 Can't sell Cult / Ure.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some lovely jeans
   Thanks to Hebtro for sponsoring b3ta, helping
   us to be able to put the time into researching
   this newsletter every week. They make powerful
   jeans that aren't cheap but will last a long
   time and every pair bought helps support
   stupid internet nonsense so dig deep you
   lovely people.
 https://hebtro.co/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your confessions pooped out for cheap lols
   * BED - "If I've just changed the bed, I
   always make sure my husband finishes off in my
   mouth for a few days so I can enjoy clean
   sheets for longer."
   * READING - "I bought my 78-year-old mum a
   Kindle to help get her through lockdown,
   linked it to my Amazon Prime account, and told
   her to download whatever she wanted. Since
   then she's been downloading two or three
   filthy books a week. She doesn't know I know
   and I'm keeping my mouth shut."
   * HEADLINES - "My wife and I did a 'message in
   a bottle' in 1999 for our son to find. We
   dated it 1956 and from another continent. We
   planted the bottle on the beach but then
   couldn't find it. 3 weeks later it was front
   page news in our local newspaper. We didn't
   own up."
   Also a special mention the BBC who decided to
   write up one confession and the subsequent
   replies as the article "The relatives frozen
   in time on Google Street View"
 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-57511055
   BTW: Your editor was interviewed about the
   Fesshole stuff on the Make Life Work podcast
   this week - where he completely failed to
   mention any of the funny(ish) confessions but
   hey, if you're bored, you might give it a
   listen.
 https://makelifeworkpodcast.com/fesshole-with-rob-...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Some stuff made by other people that's okish
   * BBC DEV LOLS - Looks like just a stock photo
   header... but try editing the text on the
   laptop screen and BOOM, well you can.
 https://developer.bbc.com/login-required
   * DOWNLOAD LOADS OF OLD RADIO - Second BBC
   link and just a heads up that they've expanded
   the amount of material available to listen to
   from the archive. Now there's something like
   200,000 bits and bobs. You could probably lose
   the rest of your life in this.
 https://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/
   * TREK LOLS - We all know the Star Trek bit
   about Picard's uniform constantly riding up so
   he'd have to pull it down every time he stood
   up - but now it's even better with editing.
 https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php
   * MACPAINT SIMULATOR - Photoshop in the
   browser is impressive enough, but now MacPaint
   is available online, in order to draw rude
   HyperCards for DMing at Steve Wozniak.
 https://beyondloom.com/tools/ditherpaint.html
   * LOCKDOWN SONG - If you don't heavily relate
   to this video then you're not our friend.
 https://b3ta.com/links/The_Big_Breakfast_video
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FRIDAY GAME
   Maze Of The Mini Taur 
   A mash-up of a sliding-block puzzle and a
   platformer. For some reason, none of the
   levels are locked, so you can just jump to the
   end if you are a massive cheat and can live
   with that on your conscience. 
 https://z-richman.itch.io/maze-of-the-mini-taur
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Northern films
   They're currently filming Indiana Jones in
   Yorkshire. What other Hollywood blockbusters
   should be relocated to the North of England
   and what would that look like? This is quite
   fun and worth a click.
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/northernfilms/popular
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FOLLOW UPS
   What happened next on previous stories
   * GOODBYE HUGO RUNE, YOU WILL BE MISSED -
   shocked and saddened to share the news that
   we've lost old school b3tan Hugo Rune far too
   soon - if you'd like to pay your respects:
 https://b3ta.com/board/11346118
   * B3TA ADS SCORE REPEAT BUSINESS - Thank you
   to our newsletter sponsor Upshot for buying an
   additional month - they're an email newsletter
   about sport and the founder said that
   sponsorship went well for them so they're back
   for more. So please return the love (should
   you like sport) by signing up at
 https://upshot.email/
 -------------------------------------------------
 How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
 He doesn't - he's dead.
 https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick you off
 
   * A 'GO AND LIVE ON A FARM' SERVICE FOR OLD
   DVDS - we've got loads of DVDs and CDs and
   stuff and we're too attached to bin them or
   charity shop them. Can't there be a pretend
   farm they could go to, like you tell children
   when you kill their pets?
   * A DELETE BUTTON FOR THE STONE THAT EVERYONE
   HAS PUT ON IN LOCKDOWN - Jesus wept, we can't
   even do up the big trousers we had to buy from
   getting fat over the last lockdown.
   * MAGIC BOOZE THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU USELESS OR
   FAT - why can't science solve this simple
   problem that's plaguing humanity?
   Sling your junk in our web trunk:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 It will take 38,446,700,000 penises placed end
 to end to reach The Moon.
 (This was a fact from a webpage that Hugo Rune
 once produced to get a mention in this very
 newsletter.)
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image
   challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
   support. Proofing by David S - Kat E is having
   a week off so thanks David.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
   Jobling & Danuel Calvin. We love you and do
   please donate as you get occasional bonus
   content.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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