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   NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S GOT TWO THUMBS AND OPENS NEWSLETTERS?"
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 "WHAT'S GOT TWO THUMBS AND OPENS NEWSLETTERS?"
 This Week:
 * "WEBSITE" - HappyToast launches site
 * LO-FI SCI-FI - introducing 'Starship Impossible'
 * MOVING PICTURES - Yes, the technology now exists
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shitting up the
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   the internet bog
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|    ... together"
 B3ta email 772 - 28 May 2021
 Read this issue if you like, who the fuck cares?
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue772
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
   Yes, buy lovely woolly socks
   Do you own feet at the end of your legs? Well
   Hebtroco have a product called "socks" that
   work as kind of innertubes for your shoes so
   that you don't have to throw away your shoes
   every day. Buy some now, they're toasty and
   warm and will save you a fortune.
 https://hebtro.co/product-category/sock_range/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than sculpting toe-jam again
   * NEW HAPPY TOAST SITE - Matt Round has been
   working with HappyToast to revamp his site.
   It's all great but we'd direct you to the
   animation section for some old school b3tan
   action:
 https://happytoast.co.uk/animation/
   * MOVING PICTURES - "I made these pictures
   move"  writes drivelsieve, "from the news" -
   if you like photos from the news, moving in
   amusing ways, by golly are you in luck.
 https://b3ta.com/links/I_made_these_pictures_move_...
   * THE LO-FI SCI-FI OF STARSHIP IMPOSSIBLE -
   The Brothers McLeod write "Greg and I have
   made some more silly animations - this time a
   lo-fi sci-fi, made in collaboration with
   Misfit. It's half an hour, but in 12 parts,
   and it's over on YouTube." This is a great
   style, going lo-fi in the age where it's easy
   to make shiny shit really makes it stand out.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Starship_Impossible_Lo_fi_S...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your confessions, relentlessly processed into content
   * TWITCH  - "My 12 year old son recently
   started to stream on twitch. After weeks of
   zero interactions he was ecstatic to announce
   that he had not only a viewer but a follower
   also. I've never seen a happier human being. I
   am that follower. He can never know."
   * SCOTLAND - "We live in a remote cottage in
   Scotland. Whenever a vehicle comes down the
   drive, I narrow my eyes and imagine turning to
   my wife and saying: 'Take the children inside'
   because my gangland enemies have found us and
   are coming to take their revenge. It's usually
   just the postman."
   * DUMPED - "I once finished with a girl by
   text because I couldn`t be arsed to drive the
   half hour there & the half hour back. Didn't
   matter because she turned up at mine & punched
   me in the face anyway."
   Why not join the 138,000 people who should
   know better? Link goes to the best of April so
   it's worth a click even though we regret
   selecting so many going "take my wife" ones
   coz we didn't read it back properly.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/13972209463276...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Stuff made by other people in the content mines
   * IS THIS THE COOLEST MAN IN THE UK? - house
   wall collapse narrowly misses pedestrian and
   he just keeps walking. Filmed via someone's
   doorbell because we live in the future and
   it's shit.
 https://b3ta.com/links/House_wall_collapse_narrowl...
   * MUSIC TO WORK TO - A relaxing mix of soviet
   synth pop.  Okay, so it's basically just a
   playlist with a URL, but like designing the
   sleeve of a mix-tape, personalising a site
   makes it more special than a boring Spotify
   link.
 https://newsovietwave.com
   * STUNNING 256 BYTE C64 DEMO - proving once
   and for all that the best 8-bit computer was
   the Oric 1.
 https://linusakesson.net/scene/a-mind-is-born/
   * ONE DIMENSIONAL CHESS - After hearing all
   the Q idiots bang on about Trump playing 3D
   Chess, this person thought they'd see how 1D
   Chess plays out.  For your printer or Steam,
   depending how old you are.
 https://gumroad.com/l/1DChess
   * DOOM CAPTCHA - we all hate having to find
   the traffic lights every time Google thinks
   we're a robot - but come into this better
   future where we can play Doom instead.
 https://vivirenremoto.github.io/doomcaptcha/
   * GRUMBLE BLOG - This is some impressive
   grudge holding. The writer has been doing a
   sarcastic geekier-than-you round up of the
   stories on Hacker News since 2016 (in Comic
   Sans, obviously). It actually makes for quite
   a useful overview of what's going on over
   there.
 http://n-gate.com
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Make Britain Great Again
   The devastating impact of nul points at
   Eurovision has hammered home just how much the
   world hates the UK. Show us what it would take
   to make the world like the British Isles.
   Crack open Photoshop and Make Britain Great
   Again.
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/makebritaingreatagain/po...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FOLLOW UP
   What happened next on previous story, singular
   * GO DOTTY READY TO SHIP - Old b3tan Breel
   writes, "Go Dotty -- fully funded and now in
   production, order today to get your copy
   before Christmas." Well done, and well done to
   the b3tans who helped crowdfund this a couple
   of years back.
 https://www.godottygame.com/shop/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Three / free ideas for you to jizz into reality
   * LEAVE A SHIT ON THE BOSS'S DESK AUGMENTED
   REALITY - well we've explained it in the caps,
   just go build it.
   * A MAKE YOU FEEL OLD MACHINE - Miles Hunt of
   the Wonder Stuff is now the same age as Arthur
   in the first series of Minder.
   * GINJA - rewrite all board games so that the
   losers get very drunk. Or high. We dunno.
   Hungry Trippos.
   Go on, make some stuff, you lazy fucking
   fuckwits: 
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost sexually.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image
   challenge help; and Dr Dunno for something or
   other. Proofing by Kat E.
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
   special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
   We love you and do please donate as you get
   occasional bonus content.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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