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   NEWSLETTER: "RIP VERA LYNN - THE CURSE OF WORLD WAR II TAKES ANOTHER TOO
   SOON"
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 This Week:
 * VIDEO - Shipping Forecast pastiche
 * INTERACTIVE - retro Glastonbury simulator
 * PHOTOS - ButtyStock II, Electric Buttyroo
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shitting up
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   the web with junk
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ... together"
 B3ta email 748 - 3rd Jun 2020
 Read this crying and wanking:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue748
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TANS HAVE BEEN DOING
   Other than shitting themselves and wanking
  
   * THE TRIPPING FORECAST - Your B3ta editor and
   HappyToast and C_Kick have combined powers to
   make a skit on Radio 4's Shipping Forecast,
   best consumed before 1990, very much R U ON
   ONE CROMARTY?
 https://youtu.be/CruFRlPERWE
   * 90s FESTIVAL GENERATOR - Monkeon writes, "I
   get the competition of Glastonbury's virtual
   festival last weekend, but mine is for middle
   aged indie kids, and the footage is primarily
   of forgotten bands recorded on a shaky
   camcorder."
 https://monkeon.co.uk/90sfestivalgenerator/
   * BUTTYSTOCK II - Matt Round writes,
   "Buttystock has gone live, with video and
   HappyToast's 3d models."
 https://vole.wtf/buttystock/
   * ALGO-PEANUTS - can AI steal the soul of a
   dead artist? Shardcore stuffs the entire
   history of Peanuts into his GAN to find out.
 http://shardcore.org/shardpress2019/2020/06/17/alg...
  * DINO-CUNTS  - Joel Veitch writes, "We made a
  new Dinosaurs: Terrible Lizards cartoon. This
  one has a Tyrannosaurus in it. Whoop Whoop!""
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
   * UK CORONAVIRUS DEATHS PUT IN PERSPECTIVE -
   JimmerUk writes, "Three and a half months into
   a global pandemic, tens of thousands of people
   have died in the UK. The numbers are almost
   meaningless, so I tried to put them in
   perspective."
 https://jimmeruk.com/covidcounter
 -------------------------------------------------
 What's grey and lights up?
 An elephant being told they're beautiful.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESS(TERING)HOLE
   Your anonymous confessions, shitted up for lols
  
   Each week we collate your fibs about wanking
   and pissing on pigeons into shareable content.
   Our faves include:
   * NO CLAPS - "I haven't clapped for the NHS
   even once. I show my support by paying my
   taxes and not voting tory."
   * NO SPOONS - "I used to work at a Spoons in
   Norwich. When Tim visited I poured his pint
   from the spill tray. Fuck that guy."
   * NO CARS - "I look away when an expensive
   sports car passes me because I don't want to
   give the driver the satisfaction."
   Join the 78,000 heartless wankers that have
   followed this shit. Link goes to our "best of
   May" collection so it's better than normal as
   it's all the bits that have 800+ favs. That's
   like having your lols predigested so you can
   eat them like a baby bird.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/12768791519082...
 -------------------------------------------------
 What's the difference between George Michael's
 second solo LP and Nigel Farage's radio career
 now he's been fired?
 One is listen without prejudice, the other is
 prejudice without listeners.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BEEFS
   The OXO content of other people's beef mistakes
  
   * CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: You're Simon
   Cowell. Can you get a number 1 hit single?
 https://twitter.com/AdrianRMG/status/1273225250700...
   * LIMMY'S WE'LL MEET AGAIN TECHNO COVER. The
   greatest tribute to Vera Lynn from the man
   with an irrational dislike for Daft Punk.
 https://twitter.com/DaftLimmy/status/1260298058597...
   * HOUSEMARTINS SING RENT-A-GHOST - Ambegris
   writes, "This guy's been doing loads of
   impressions of artists doing old TV themes.
   See also Bowie's Button Moon or Johnny Cash's
   Auf Wiedersehen Pet."
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
   * HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DOG - A single-joke
   website in rainbow Comic Sans.
 https://haveyouseenthis.dog
   * HARD NOSTALGIA - a collection of sites that
   feature fake desktops.
 https://simone.computer/#/webdesktops
 -------------------------------------------------
 We know it's a right-wing anxiety wank that
 "they're renaming the White Cliffs of Dover now"
 but we can't help but think of new names for
 them: Wyclef; Got Any Veras?; and Richard.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Statues
   Here's the best images from last week:
   * WORKING TOGETHER, from The Twisted Omentum
 http://b3ta.com/board/11317130
   * NEW SAFETY ADVICE FROM THE WHO, from Pizopop
 http://b3ta.com/board/11316792
   * STOP ERASIN ARE HISTRY!, from Bod
 http://b3ta.com/board/11316303
   * See all the other images from the 'Statues' challenge:
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/statues
   >> This week: Animal Politicians <<
   Photoshop politicians who have names that
   sound like animals to look like they sound.
   Like Dominic Crab or Jacob Rees-Frog.
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/animalpoliticians
 -------------------------------------------------
 HOW TO WRITE A BOOK: Tippex out all the words
 from a novel you like and type in your own
 words.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   BONUS THOUGHT: The episode of Quantum Leap
   we'd like to watch is where Sam leaps into the
   body of Sir Clive Sinclair making the advert
   for the Sinclair Quantum Leap, and the
   director is asking him to jump over the huge
   IBM PC and it looks awfully dangerous and he
   goes "Oh boy!"
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
   Please join the patreon so we can afford to
   eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben
   Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence
   Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard,
   Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and newest
   one Paul Blanchard. Thanks Paul.
 http://patreon.com/b3ta

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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
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   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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