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   NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S CANADIAN AND SOUND LIKE A SEA-LION DYING? CELINE DION"
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 This Week:
 * PHOTOS - This MP Does not exist
 * LONGWAVE - The Radio 4 Chill Out mix
 * COMPUTERS - Made of paper like they should be
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "Let's pretend to be
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   snorty little
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   piglets... together"
 B3ta email 747 - 14 Jun 2020
 Read this issue in your pants whilst eating ham:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue747
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
   Other than making suspicious jam
   >> This MP Does Not Exist <<
   Matt Round writes, "Yes, I've done one of
   those fancy neural network image things. I
   know we all love politicians and can't get
   enough of them, so I've generated loads more
   and created new names & constituencies too. Be
   warned, some seem to have been let out of the
   vat before they're fully formed...""
 https://b3ta.com/links/This_MP_Does_Not_Exist
   >> Longwave: the Tripping Forecast <<
   Your editor Rob Manuel has been using the
   lockdown time to imagine it's 1989 and you've
   taken a pill in a club; it gets too much & you
   wander into the chill out room & the DJ is
   playing a super mellow set of Radio 4
   classics. Tune in, turn on and chill out:
 https://soundcloud.com/l_o_n_g_w_a_v_e/the-trippin...
 -------------------------------------------------
 PG Tips stands for Peter Gabriel's tips and it's
 the section of his website where he offers handy
 advice "To enhance the flavour of your ham,
 glaze the rind"
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Content from the udders of the internet
   * OLD COMPUTERS MADE OUT OF PAPER - who
   doesn't want to make an Amtsrad CPC 464 out of
   some A4? Finally find a use for that printer,
   if there's still any ink in it.
 http://rockybergen.com/papercraft
   * MULTIPLE SIDOSIS - never mind all those
   choirs/bands doing multi-track stuff via zoom,
   try it with an old cine camera. Sid Laverents
   was a genius who invented our future.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
   * <BLINKING HELL> - someone has made a
   physical <blink> tag. Hopefully <marquee>
   next, with text that slides when you tip it.
 https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2020/05/building-a-physic...
   * TAXI SIM - There have been a few outdoor
   simulators doing the rounds.  This one is our
   favourite due to the use of local radio, so
   you can imagine being in a taxi on holiday.
   The Italy one needs to feature more near-death
   moments for a truly realistic experience,
   however.
 https://driveandlisten.herokuapp.com
 
   * OFFICE SLACKER - Every episode of "The
   Office" recreated in Slack. Hey did you know
   Slack was created by the one-time co-founder
   of B3ta? Hi Cal!
 https://theofficeslack.com/
   * BOOZE SIM - Pretend to be drunk when posting
   online, even when you have been drinking
   mostly non-alcoholic booze for three months to
   keep the anxiety levels in check.
 https://drunk-translator.com/
 -------------------------------------------------
 Like Doctor Who, the best James Bond is probably
 the one you watched aged 10
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Opposite Books
   Here's the best images from last week:
   * A CHILDREN'S CLASSIC - from plankton
 http://b3ta.com/board/11315553
   * OPPOSITE - from insignificantsnivellinglittleturd
 http://b3ta.com/board/11315663
   * WHATEVER - from  TheCrookitFigger
 http://b3ta.com/board/11315541
   * See all the other images from the 'Opposite
   Books' challenge:
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/oppositebooks
   >> This week: SEGA 60 <<
   SEGA turned 60 this week. Wish them a happy
   birthday by photoshopping their many games
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/SEGA60
 -------------------------------------------------
 Now all the statues are being cancelled and “put
 in museums” do hope it’s the same museum. I
 would probably go to the Museum Of Bronze
 Bastards Who Have Left Us A Complicated Legacy.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your anonymous confessions, confessed
  
   Each week we collate your fibs about sex and
   pissing into sinks into shareable content.
   Our faves include:
   * TROLLS - "I used to go on netmums and post
   things like 'is it ok to give my 1 year old
   Coca-Cola?/fruit shoots?/whisky in their
   bedtime bottle?' Just for shits n giggles. It
   was like throwing a hand grenade into a
   cesspool."
   * WIKIPEDIA - "10 years ago I edited Roy
   Hodgson's Wikipedia page to falsely say that
   he speaks four languages and reads Martin
   Amis. It got picked up by the media when he
   became England manager and he evidently hasn't
   since felt the need to deny it."
   * CATS - "My partner's son claims his cat is
   really large and it's not. It's a normal sized
   cat and it's getting to me."
   Join the 75,000 cunts that have followed this
   shit. Or follow the less popular @anon_opin
   which is the same shit but slightly different.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/
 https://twitter.com/anon_opin/
 -------------------------------------------------
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
   Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
   McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
   Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
   Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
   Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
   Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
   Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
   James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
   Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
   Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
   James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
   Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
   Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
   Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
   Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
   Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
   Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
   bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
   Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
   wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
   Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
   Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
   Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
   Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
   Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
   Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
   Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
   Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
   Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
   Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
   Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
   Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
   Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
   Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
   Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
   Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
   McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
   Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
   Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
   Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
   Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
   Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
   Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
   Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
   Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
   Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
   peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
   Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
   Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
   Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
   John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
   Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
   Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
   Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
   olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
   M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
   Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
   Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
   Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
   Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
   Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
   Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian
   Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
   McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
   Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
   Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
   Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round & David
   Stevenson. Plus BatFastardCom & Miss
   Fortunate.
   Please join the patreon so we can afford to
   eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben
   Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence
   Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard,
   Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and newest
   one Paul Blanchard. Thanks Paul.
 http://patreon.com/b3ta

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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