we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "WHAT IDIOT CALLED IT HORSE & HOUND MAGAZINE INSTEAD OF HOOF & WOOF?" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * GAME - Guess the IMDB rating * PODCAST - Prev-covid walks to office recorded * BOOK - How to entertain your kids ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Socially isolated and ___/ _ |/_ > Guess My IMDB Rating << IMDb users give every movie a rating between 0 and 100. Your challenge is to guess the number by naming movies until you find one with a matching score. Thanks Monkeon for this slice of hard genius. https://monkeon.co.uk/guessmyimdbrating/ >> Should You Go Out? << JimmerUK writes, "Due to confusion regarding the current government advice, a comprehensive questionnaire has been prepared by a panel of experts that will clarify matters, informing you whether you should go out or not. " https://jimmeruk.com/stayathome >> Government Coronavirus Slogan Generator << Jaymeekae writes, "I probably could have channelled my anger in to something constructive but I made this automatic government bullshit generator instead." https://coronavirusslogan.com/ >> Walk to work Podcast << Matt Round has asked people to record their trips to work. Little did he know he would be capturing a world just before it disappeared due to virus bollocks. Drink deep on the nostalgia of having a commute. Or are we all back again. We can't remember. https://vole.wtf/trudgecast/ >> BBC Radio Four - the Chill Out mix << It's 1989 and you've taken a pill in a club; it gets too much & you wander into the chill out room & the DJ is playing a super mellow set of Radio 4 classics. Follow the B3ta editor's news project now, to hear it first. https://twitter.com/l_o_n_g_w_a_v_e ------------------------------------------------- Dildo factory. If you build it, they will come. ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT TO DO WITH KIDS ON A LOCK DOWN 501 Games to Entertain and Keep the Kids Sane Old B3tan Mike Rampton has written a book of games to play with kids and says, "It was written before lockdown, and briefly looked like it was timed amazingly, although now that schools might be reopening, it might be timed really badly. Either way, I nearly went fully mental writing it, so that’s something. I hope it can give parents and kids a few hours of fun anyway." We asked Mike for an example game. "Get about twenty pairs of socks, split them up and hide one from each pair in various places around the house. Then present your offspring with the pile of remaining odd socks and relax with a can of Kronenbourg while they hunt out the missing ones. Fun!" https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/15291068... ------------------------------------------------- The hardest covid hygiene skill is opening a fresh supermarket bag without licking your fingers. ------------------------------------------------- : FRIDAY GAME Making 'password generation' fun Type in a password. No, it should have 1 number. You do that. No, it should have one uppercase letter. And so it goes. We are jealous of this idea. https://youshallnotpass.glitch.me ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BEEF. DELICIOUS OXO-Y BEEF Content made by other people of internet land * FIGHTING TALK - The best comedy writers in the world are working, unpaid, in r/relationships https://twitter.com/JakeMHS/status/126002578875932... * 90s BEDROOM SIMULATOR - we don't have a VR headset, but we enjoyed the browser version of this 90s bedroom simulator. Wish you could choose your own posters and games, though. Sam Fox and Bomb Jack all the way. https://sonictruth.github.io/vr-dos/ * MELODY BOT - here's the sting music for your algo-generated Seinfeld script https://twitter.com/MelodyBot3456/status/125814342... * TOLKIEN CHARACTER OR ANTI DEPRESSANT QUIZ - we scored fuck all on this. Hard as nails as we know fuck all about either subject. https://antidepressantsortolkien.xebuz.now.sh/ * AI INVENTED WORKS - Really simple but beautiful use of machine learning, a site that generates entirely new words. e.g. Cacochus - a shrub with purple, pink, or yellow flowers https://thisworddoesnotexist.com * HORROR MOVIES VS COVID - how to Survive Covid-19 Learned From Sci Fi and Horror Movies. http://b3ta.com/links/1539635 ------------------------------------------------- Slade is correctly pronounced Slah-day like Sade. Change our mind. ------------------------------------------------- : FESSHOLE Your anonymous confessions, confessed Each week we collate your fibs about sex and pissing into sinks into shareable content. Our faves include: * HERO - "I haven't bought a coffee in Wetherspoons for nearly four years. Just carry the mug I stole in 2016 in my bag and help myself." * WEIRDO - "I send the woman who sits next to me at work a birthday and Christmas card to her home address every year, using a made up family. It's driving her mad not knowing who Jacqui, Martin and Oliver are!" * SHIT-ERO - When myself and my best pal were 12 we had a 'who can't poo the longest' competition. I won, because after 6 days he shit himself in my dad's Volvo on the drive home from my birthday party. Join the 75,000 cunts that have followed this shit. Or follow the less popular @anon_opin which is the same shit but slightly different. https://twitter.com/fesshole/ ------------------------------------------------- Why not an edit war on the Wikipedia page for Oasis's Some Might Say, by repeatedly reporting the title for weasel words? ------------------------------------------------- : IMAGE CHALLENGE 80s editions of classic books Here's the best images from last week: * JANE EYREWOLF - from Ninj http://b3ta.com/board/11314126 * THE LORD OF MCFLY'S - from Q4nobody http://b3ta.com/board/11314334 * THE GREAT GAATSBY - from Q4nobody too. The talented git. http://b3ta.com/board/11314203 * See all the other images from the '80s editions of classic books' challenge: http://b3ta.com/challenge/80sbooks/popular >> This week: Bones << Show us your funny bones. http://b3ta.com/challenge/Bones/popular ------------------------------------------------- Elon Musk and Grimes welcome baby 'X Æ A-12'. Noddy Holder shout: "IT'S X MUSK" ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS We love all these people *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON JAMES* *STOOBERT* 24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY, SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright, lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna, Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster, blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green, Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane, Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt. EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round & David Stevenson. Plus BatFastardCom & Miss Fortunate. Please join the patreon so we can afford to eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and newest one Paul Blanchard. Thanks Paul. http://patreon.com/b3ta next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive