we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "OPENING THIS NEWSLETTER WILL LIFT THE CURSE THAT'S BEEN BLIGHTING YOUR LIFE" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * PLACEHOLDERS - Just like Ian Curtis made them * GAME - Zookoban - animal puzzle game * FESSHOLE - Chris Packham confirms story ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're memeing the plums ___/ _ |/_ > Joy Division placeholders << Stefan Bohacek's come up with a neat idea: generative images as placeholders in a website. Bot lorem-ipsum for images. With added Joy Division. https://generative-placeholders.glitch.me >> Zookoban - animal puzzle game << A 2d pixel-art puzzle game in which you help your animal pals escape the zoo. By Newington. http://versificator.itch.io/zookoban >> Shitpatch Gardening << Pig Face Turnip writes, "A gardening show for people without gardens who now can have a garden." http://b3ta.com/links/1531999 ------------------------------------------------- The Amstrad CPC464 User Guide was intended as a warning, not an instruction manual. ------------------------------------------------- : FESSHOLE Your confessions, confessed in lurid detail Our favs this week: * UNCIVIL WAR - "I think the entire country should just dress up in the colours of the party they are voting for, and have a fight to the death. Of course it's fully possible I'd get wiped out by some 6'8 tory farmer, but not before I've taken out at least 60, 70 racist grans." * SHOPPING WANKER - "At the scales in a branch of Morrisons I weighed & printed out individual labels for 20 Brussels Sprouts. Then lined them up single file on the checkout conveyor belt. The lady on the checkout was unimpressed and told me to grow up." * CATCHPHRASE PENETRATION - "During intercourse with my wife I used to say 'Hello, we're in' in the voice of popular 90's TV angler John Wilson MBE, right at the moment of penetration. We've been divorced 15 years." (Replies also suggest 'All Aboard The Ninky-Nonk would be good.) Join the over 50,000 people following and contributing to Fesshole. https://twitter.com/fesshole BTW: Also amazing, what a brilliant sport Chris Packham is about this utter nonsense and confirming the first ever bit of truth published by Fesshole. https://twitter.com/robmanuel/status/1220377276547... ------------------------------------------------- Articles are just long tweets written by losers who can't edit their thoughts down to a tweet. ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Flat, slow, clicky video * SCIENCE DIAGRAMS THAT LOOK LIKE SHITPOSTS - does what it says on the tin and impressive growth. Zero to 250k in less than a month. That's how to do it. https://twitter.com/scienceshitpost * RASPBERRY PI POWERED LIVE TRAIN STATION BOARD - small project for your next weekend alone, in between the sobbing. https://www.balena.io/blog/build-a-raspberry-pi-po... * THIS WEEK IN STARTUPS REINVENTING THINGS: the handkerchief. FFS, tech bros. https://lasttissue.lastobject.com * PARIS HILTON TEACHES US HOW TO MAKE LASAGNE - 38 y/o woman cooks lasagne with all the skill and insight of a 10 y/o who has watched her mum cook a few times. Compelling. http://b3ta.com/links/1531863 * IT'S NOT EASY BEING WHITE - Lozza Fox has gone from obscurity to fame by being a cunt on Question Time and here's his brilliant new song. https://b3ta.com/links/Its_Not_Easy_Being_White * RADIATOR BLEEDING WITH CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON - nice parody of shite TV with some guy who used to be on Cracker. https://b3ta.com/links/Radiator_Bleeding_with_Chri... ------------------------------------------------- There’s more people who need to be told their imposter syndrome is real and fewer who need to get over it ------------------------------------------------- : IMAGE CHALLENGE Letter Change Computer Games Here's the best images from last week: * *WAGGLE* - (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11304408 * WATCH OUT FOR THOSE FINGER GUNS - (Pizopop) http://b3ta.com/board/11304266 * G'NIGHT - (PedroHin) http://b3ta.com/board/11304338 * See all the other images from the 'Letter Change Computer Games' challenge: http://b3ta.com/challenge/letterchangegames/popula... >> This week: Monty Python << It's a week of Monty Python related pictures and gifs. Because? Terry Jones. http://b3ta.com/challenge/montypython/popular/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make some bollocks and send it to us * BBC GONE - Pitch: BBC Obits Channel. It only fires up when someone interesting dies & immediately shows their films / interviews / songs plus guests, whoever rolls by the studio with something to say. Why? Coz we wanted to revel in Terry Jones and had to make do with Netflix & some tweets. * TWEETS WITH SOUND - Your b3ta editor dreamt he'd made Twitter account. Most ideas in dreams are incoherent but this was weirdly 100% doable. It was called @withsoundfx took tweets (often photos) and repost them with comedy sound effects like heavy breathing etc. If anyone wants this dream idea, go ahead. * TWO RONNIES REMIX - "If you re-edit the Two Ronnies' Mastermind sketch so that Ronnie B is asking the right question, the audience is just pissing themselves laughing at the correct answers." says the tweet, but why not also make a remix version that plays a random answer for a random question for all eternity? https://twitter.com/Darren_Dutton/status/121902107... Send your cyber cucumbers to: https://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- We fact-checked the Stones lyric "I was born in a crossfire hurricane", worked out when Jagger was born and looked up 1940s weather reports. Then put a good 30 minutes trying to craft this into a "Mick, gotcha, you're a liar" before realising it was as reference to the Blitz. So that's this bit fucked. ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS We love all these people *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON JAMES* *STOOBERT* 24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY, SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright, lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna, Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster, blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith H. 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Russell, Stphane, Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt Please join the patreon so we can afford to eat. And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout and Tim Clarke. Plus even newer one Simon Balch! http://patreon.com/b3ta next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive