we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "SHATTERHAND! HE'S THE MAN, THE MAN WHO HAS SHAT IN HIS HAND" next issue » « previous issue "SHATTERHAND! He's the man, the man who has shat in his hand" This Week: * WEBSITE - Is Britain Great? (spoiler: no) * EUROTRASH - Revived as pirated internet content * GOATSE - Back as a plan to steal your cash ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We got bored of screaming ___/ _ |/_ > Is Britain Great? << WrittenBittern writes, "As requested in newsletter 709... a single page 'no' gif compilation with musical accompaniment." Hooray! Someone listened to one of our stupid requests. Amazing. https://isbritaingreatagain.com >> Eurotrash clip roulette << Monkeon writes, "It's basically a Eurotrash version of the 90s button, which I was hoping would make my YouTube recommendations amazing, but YouTube still think I want to watch Jordan Peterson and Nigel Farage instead of Mr Blow-Up and Dschinghis Khan." https://www.monkeon.co.uk/eurotrashroulette/ >> Alan Partridge fans causing online trouble << Matthew Richardson writes, "I added the Longstanton Spice Museum to Google Maps. It's been up for about 3 weeks, now. The reviews are mildly amusing." Let's check shall we? "Lovely stuff. I spent the best Valentine's Day I’ve had in eight years here today." https://goo.gl/maps/YLjADJMvZkH2 >> George Ezra vs David Cameron << Legendary mash-up artist Swedemason writes, "I made another vid for joe.co.uk. Watching his conference speeches is interesting in hindsight. Just about everything he promises, the opposite is happening." https://b3ta.com/links/Shotgone ------------------------------------------------- Your DJ name is the word "DJ" followed by something that would make you relevant to your targeted demographic. ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Flat, slow, not clicky video * IS IT POSSIBLE TO PLAY MARIO ON A PRINTER? - this thread claims so, by connecting a NES and printing it out. Would be fun thing for someone to recreate & video. Assuming it's not made-up bollocks. https://twitter.com/Foone/status/10976377728090112... * WHICH FACE IS REAL OR AI? We were quite good at spotting AI faces after a bit, the tells were often in the teeth and asymmetric make-up, but the point is you have to look carefully, it's not obvious. http://www.whichfaceisreal.com/index.php * THE RETURN OF GOATSE - no longer resolving to some dude showing his collapsed butthole but a blockchain update of the MillionDollarHomePage idea, so you can buy the pixels on the site forever for the low low price of some "Ethereums". https://goatse.cx/ * GOAT OR THROAT QUIZ - proving that goat sound pretty human, although the quiz name implies that goats don't have throats which would surprise some butchers. https://www.goatorthroat.com * VIDEO GAME DEATH SCREEN GENERATOR - if you want a Pokemon death screen saying "I've fucked a spork" then you're in luck. That and more. http://deathgenerator.com/#ss2 * SHIT COMPUTER GAMES WIKI - if we could be arsed to "stream" it would probably be mostly playing old crap games and going "this is absolute wank". https://crappygames.miraheze.org/wiki/Category:ZX_... ------------------------------------------------- Phrases that Americans believe the British use for water: Council Lambrusco Drippy Pipe Lickings Fairtrade Taponade Faucet Beer Government Milk Gutter Guinness Poverty Pimms Seawater Direct Tap Shandy Thames Juice Churchill's Piss Sink Hops ------------------------------------------------- : IMAGE CHALLENGE Political Pop Last we we asked you to pop the lol into po-lol-itics and make political pop. Here's three of the best: * JEREMY CORBYN VS JOHN LYDON - from Ninj. http://b3ta.com/board/11277772 * BEASTIE BOYS vs FARAGE - from monkeon. http://b3ta.com/board/11278135 * CHRIS GRAYLING vs CHRIS DE BURGH - from S4RK. http://b3ta.com/board/11277897 See all the other images from the 'Political Pop' challenge: http://b3ta.com/challenge/politicalpop >> This week: geek art << What could be more B3ta than nerdy computer related stuff mixed with famous works of art? Shove your Nyan cats in to Van Gogh's Night Sky or go the whole hog and code up some AI that can auto generate a new Picasso. http://b3ta.com/challenge/geekart ------------------------------------------------- There's no word, or combination of two words that hasn't played the Dublin Castle. The Dublinarity was reached in 2018 and a new member of Menswear was formed with the density of a black hole. ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Free ideas for the idea poor: * IRISH SEINFELD - we recently misread @sinnfeinireland as @seinfeldinireland, which would be an account we'd probably chuckle at you have the writing chops to pull it off * A BOT THAT WATCHES NETFLIX SERIES PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT - so we don't have to. * ARE GOOGLEWHACKS STILL POSSIBLE? Write some code that systematically throws two random words at Google and then tweets with an update if it ever finds one. Maybe it never tweets. Who knows? * RETRO PAPER CON - we'd like a retro computing exhibition that was just the ephemera children made in the 1980s. Tape inlays. Copied ads in biro. Maps of games on graph paper. Copied colour charts. It's sorta more evocative than the games as it's less celebrated & it was the culture as it was lived. ------------------------------------------------- Stuff that costs the same price as four tickets to see Lego Movie 2: * 5 months of Netflix * 10 bottles of cheap wine * 120 sausages from M&S * 200 sausages from M&S (lower quality) * 700 sausages (Sainsbury's Basic) You pays your money and you takes your choice. ------------------------------------------------- : CREDIT Written by Rob Manuel. Link help from Monkeon & Matt Round. Some proofing from Wil Hadden. Subject line robbed from a @ManOnThe100 tweet. Sorry. ------------------------------------------------- Remember: you can ignore the parliamentary soap opera and vote for the the party most likely to win in your your constituency who isn't the Tories, or you can be glued to every plot twist. Either will give you same result but one will give you more time to learn the trombone. ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS We love you * BIGGEST BROTHERS: *EUGENIE VT*, *ALEX MORRIS*, *HEBTROCO*, *JAMES O'BRIEN*, *JAMES PETTS*, *JON GRANT*, *KATE*, *MARK MCCREADIE*, *MR PHIL DONNELLY*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*, *STOOBERT*, *24-7 DEATH*, *ALAN CHARLTON*, *ALISTAIR*, *ANDREW FLEMMING*, *ANDREW WREN*, *BEVAN JOHNSON*, *BRIAN EELES*, *CHRIS BLAKENEY*, *CHRIS CARLINE*, *CHRIS LOCKE*, *CRISS MORENO*, *GEORGE STEPHENSON*, *GREG MCGOWAN*, *IAN SHEEN*, *JAIMIE VANDENBERGH*, *JAMES CRONIN*, *JON BINSTEAD*, *MARK ADAMSON*, *MICHAEL TRINDER*, *NAT KING COLESLAW*, *PATRICK CATES*, *RICHARD BARCLAY*, *SIMON NICHOLLS*, *SPAZZCAPTAIN*, *TOM DOLAN*, *WENDY GOODE * BIGGER BROTHERS: NICK MORGAN, LEE BURNETT, @MATTDAWHIT, ADAM ATACK, ADAM COONEY, ADAM INGLIS, ADAM LLOYD, ADRIAN WOODFIELD, AL DAVIDSON, ALBION GRAY, ANDREW SCHEUBER, ANDY ASHTON, ANDY STORRAR, ANDY TILLETT, ANDY WEBBER, ANDY YATES`, ANNA, ANNE-MARIE SCOTT, AUNTIESASH HAZLEWOOD, BEN BRICE, BEN WARD, BEN WATSON, BERTIL HANSSON, BERTRAM WOOSTER, BEX COOK, BLOSSOMSHED, BRAD GREGORY, BYRON GEOFFREY FARROW, C BOND, CARL MORGAN, CATHERINE MCALLISTER, CATROASTER, CHEF TWAT, CHRIS BRANCH, CHRIS EVANS, CHRIS GARRATT, CHRIS GOUGH, CHRIS PATERSON, CHRIS SAUNDERS, CHRIS SHAW, CHRIS WHITWORTH, CIARÁN R, COURTENAY FERRIS, CRAIG LIDDELL, CRAIG TONKS, CRAIG TURNER, DAMIEN SMITH, DAN STOTT, DANIEL BROWN, DANIEL CHOTE, DAVE NATTRISS, DAVE TICKLE, DAVID AULT, DAVID CATLEY, DAVID GARDINER, DAVID GREEN, DAVID KING, DAVID KNOLL, DAVID MILLS, DEREK LAW, DEREK ROBERTS, DOMINIC HAIGH, ED CAN DO, ED COOK, EDWARD ALMOND, EMMA LAY, ERIC VON BORSTEL, ESSY DAVE, FAITH H. 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Russell, Stéphane, Swedemason, Tanya Kant, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Knight, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East, Victoria Wood, wigglywigglyworm, Wine School of Philadelphia. Please bung us your cash: https://www.patreon.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- 400g of salt is 25p in M&S. Delicious and zero calories too. ------------------------------------------------- : AND SPECIAL THANKS TO ED For being our biggest patreon Follow him on the Twitter. Go on. https://twitter.com/edzitron ------------------------------------------------- Which band should do an ad for spermicidal condoms? Johnnies Hate Jizz. ------------------------------------------------- : TOP TIP Labour. Get into power, by not being quite so shit. (Muns) http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive