we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "CAN BRITAIN PLEASE COLLAPSE SO WE CAN GET ON WITH THE NEXT BIT?" next issue » « previous issue "Can Britain please collapse so we can get on with the next bit?" This Week: * A DAD - Talks about dating (involves poo) * KUNT (& THE GANG) - Writes his autobiography * NEWSLETTER - On time like a stopped clock ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web ___/ _ |/_ > This week: Replace an instrument << Grab a picture of a musician, remove their musical instrument and replace it with anything that tickles you. http://b3ta.com/challenge/replaceinstruments ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that was made by our enemies * SEX CRIMINAL DELETION ROW - Kate Bush has removed Rolf Harris from the reissue of some old LP and we've enjoyed reading the fans losing their shit in this comments thread as reading other people's rows what passes as entertainment these days. BTW: If anyone wants to put Rolf back, maybe a mash-up of Two Little Boys and Man With A Child In His Eyes? http://www.superdeluxeedition.com/news/kate-bush-r... * SLAYER MIXED WITH BENNY HILL MUSIC - all kinds of wrong, Benny Hill is wrong, Slayer's lyrics are monumentally wrong, but together it's somehow joyous. https://www.youtube.com/watch * ODD BEATLES SLAVERY CONNECTION - The legacy of slavery pops up in British culture in unexpected ways. Penny Lane by the Beatles, named after Penny Lane in Liverpool, which was named after slave owner James Penny who gave evidence to Parliament in defence of slavery. Who knew? http://www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/content/articles/20... * TYPEWRITER TYPE-INS - enjoyed these instructions on how to 'type in' photos of celebrities like Kojak on your typewriter. https://twitter.com/PulpLibrarian/status/106062098... * WHEN AI GOES WRONG - this collection of anecdotes about AI getting stuff wrong is hilarious. E.g. "In an artificial life simulation where survival required energy but giving birth had no energy cost, one species evolved a sedentary lifestyle that consisted mostly of mating in order to produce new children which could be eaten (or used as mates to produce more edible children)." https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/1/d/e/2PACX... * FREELANCER WOE - as set to gifs from Star Wars. (Sent in by brent. Thanks Brent. Branks etc.) https://twitter.com/FreelanceWars ------------------------------------------------- : LAST WEEK MATT ROUND WAS LOOKING FOR CRISPS Now he wants people to make models If you: * Have several small cute animals * Like making crude models of things out of cardboard * Want to help make some daft videos then he may have a project for you (some pay involved & there’s a clear brief) https://twitter.com/mattround/status/1062419721331... ------------------------------------------------- : OH FUCK OFF IT'S GOASTE CORNER Sorry sorry sorry CapnLee has written to us to tell us about this "nerdiest goatse" and we're now making you suffer our pain: https://wargamesbuildings.co.uk/epages/950003459.s... ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories * YORECOMPUTER BLOG - Thanks to Terence Eden whose written a tribute to our old computer mag bot. https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2018/11/yorecomputer-exam... * PAC SNAKE - Barbarossa writes, "A few weeks ago you asked for mashups of classic computer games, an example given was a cross between pacman and snake. Well, I've done one in Scratch." Flash only - so no phones sadly. https://phosphorus.github.io/app.html ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make some bollocks and tell us. Free ideas: * FUCK THE SUN - A bot that replies to every request from @SunPictureDesk asking to use pictures with a message pointing out A. you can say no and B. the going rates for selling pictures / video to news orgs. * HELIUM BUBBLE-WRAP - lighter than air packaging should lower the postage costs. (suggestion from Baz Mclean) * RETRO METRO - we bet if the Metro had a pull out where the reprinted a few pages from a 100 year old newspaper every day it would be incredibly popular. Make sure you tell us about this stuff you make: https://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS You lovely people *STOOBERT*, *JOSH MCMILLAN*, *TOM JENKINS BATES*, *JON GRANT*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*, *TREVOR BURTON-MCCREADIE*, *MR PHIL DONNELLY*, *KATE*, *JAMES PETTS*, *STEWART NOLAN*, *MARK MCCREADIE*, *ALEX MORRIS*, *JAMES O'BRIEN* GEORGE STEPHENSON, NAT KING COLESLAW, ANDREW WREN, JAMES CRONIN, ALISTAIR, IAN SHEEN, MARK ADAMSON, ANDREW FLEMMING, ALAN CHARLTON, SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, CHRIS BLAKENEY, BEVAN JOHNSON, CRISS MORENO, JO APPS, CHRIS LOCKE, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, GREG MCGOWAN, RICHARD BARCLAY, PATRICK CATES, 24-7 DEATH, TOM WRIGHT, JON BINSTEAD, SIMON NICHOLLS, CHRIS CARLINE, BRIAN EELES, MICHAEL TRINDER, 5 + REWARD DESCRIPTION, EUGENIE VT, TOM DOLAN. lee burnett, Bloonface , Shane McHugh, Joe Banner, Chris Garratt, Jim Woodward, Rebecca McManus, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Martin Davies, George Preston, Chris Saunders, Mike Middleton, Richard Matthias, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Brad Gregory, Graham Licence, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo), Ed Can Do, C Bond, Fergus McKay, Steve herman, Alex Walsh Atkins, Mick Curtis, Craig Turner, Joshua Thomasson, Dog Byte, Fearghas , Chris Gough, fourstar , Jonty Wareing, Nathaniel Bandersnatch, Montocat , Rob Affleck, Rhys Wynne, Marina de Joslin, Jasper Koning, Ryan Rhodes, Chris Whitworth, James Macinnes, Geoff Tidey, John Higgs, Daniel Chote, Geoffrey Balme, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Mark Wilson, Paul Cherry, Nick Ross, Ian Beveridge, Alex Mastin, Raul Arreola, Faith H. Martin, David King, Jaymie Thomas, Sam Russell, David Knoll, Ben Watson, Simon Holmes, Steve P, Gaynor Clarkson, Saleem Ahmad, nicholas martin, Jim MacArthur, John Hammersley, Andy Yates`, Andy Webber, David Gardiner, Adam Molloy, Simon McDougall, Craig Tonks, Anna , Peter Gosling, Jason Stewart, Dave Nattriss, Philip Kinchington, Ian Boltz, Matt Drewry, Derek ROBERTS, Robbie Lesiuk, Bertram Wooster, Adam Inglis, James Clayton, Jim Frayling, Mike Middleton, Scott S. Kramer, Joe Simmonds, Julie Brumlik, Rob Mahon, Paul Leader, Ivan Kelly, Jǐm McNǐven, Paul Healey, Andy Ashton, Tom Rees-Williams, David Mills, Martin Beer, midnightrambler , matsimpsk , Jim Halfpenny, Dave Tickle, Matthew Forman, Gareth Noyce, Chris Paterson, James Woods, pookong , oliver bewes, Iain , Adam Cooney, Sam Anderson, Albion Gray, Rupert Hull, Simon waterfall, Paul Westerman, Courtenay Ferris, Andy Tillett, Essy Dave, Martin Peache, Jerry Quartley, Bertil Hansson, Carl Morgan, Mark Hibbett, Daniel Brown, Rich Pope, John Matthews, JOHNNY WATTERS, Jamie Taylor, Adrian Woodfield, Stuart Ashen, Vicki Jakes, Jane Baker, Paul Smith, Will Goulden, Simon Cowan, Robin Whitmore, Steven Smith, Matthew Wilkes, Dan Stott, Siobhan McNally, Bill Atkinson, Starlord Mixtape, Gneissrocks , Steve Prowse, Tyronne Mann, Andy Storrar, Jay Roche, Peter Willman, Sarah Williamson, Kevin Johnston, Tom Gleeson, Ed Cook, Catroaster , Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton, mil jamieson, Tom Crick, Ben Burton, Peter Ashtray, Adam Atack, AC , Derek Law, David Catley, John Foster, Matt Buchanan, Matthew Collinge, Joey moore, Mark Hill, Joe McNally, Tom Ryan, Peter McMinn, Ryan Doran, Konrad Petrusewicz, Wil Hadden, James Donnelly, Frank Hollis, sean casely, Al Davidson, martin mackenzie, Gus Nicol, Martin Holloway, Mike Davis, Steve Thornton, Tim Mouncer, peter wouda, Fraser Lewry, Matthew Morris, Rob Vincent, Chris Shaw, Rick Lindley, Greg Neilson, blossomshed , Jude Evans, Kev Adams, Simon Smith, @mattdawhit , Brian Lancaster, Iain Henshaw, Mathew Smith, Gia Milinovich, Fiona James, Robert Hills, Anne-Marie Scott, James Kerry-Barnard, Greenfox , Neil de Carteret, Stephen Waller, Luke Mepham, Stuart Alldred, Adam Lloyd, Andrew Scheuber, Chris Branch, Jonathan Wooddin, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, Dominic Haigh, TownsendsPublisher , Steve Anglesey, Iain Brassington, Heidi Colthup, Ross Carter, Chris Evans, Edward Almond, James Golbey, Johnnie Shannon, Alex Lovett, Peter Coombe, David Ault, Kate Devlin, James Shakespeare, Tim Weaver, Lisa Westhaven, James O'Malley, Emma Lay, RossOverThere , Tim Jokl, Catherine McAllister, Steve Laker, Damien Smith, Jim Dabell, John Faragher, Eric von Borstel, Malcolm Franks, Richard Beckett, , William Garratt, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, Iain Moffatt, Justin Brett, Louise Allen, David Green, Riven A Buckley, Robin , Luche , Ian Appleby, Pete , Tobie Fysh, Gavin Tommey, Stuart Richards, David Barton, Jess Baker, Tom Freke, Jan Spielhoff, Sean Flanagan, Mike Congreve, Chris Johnson, John Field, Emma Sykes, Carl Mesner Lyons, Ross Dobson, David Stark, Adam Beardwood, Danny Kodicek, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson, Chris Goode, Andrew Robinson, Nicky Hewgill, Michael Kitt, Tim Beachy, Rose Johnson, Paul Topping, Connor Parslow, Daniel Moeller, Irene Semanchuk, Alexandre Strube, Craig Naples, Richard Speed, Alastair Dodd, Rhys Jones, Joseph Mulvaney, Julie Beacock, Sentient Meatbag, Dan Tasse, peter royal, Harry Wearne, Duncan STrickland, Andy Candler, Peter Cooper, Deny Coughlan, Russ Anderson, Nick Kent, Jonathan , Phil H, Andrew Anderson, Ian Silvester, Ben Webb, Graham Freeman, Dave Gee, Wine School of Philadelphia, John Griffiths, Nick Murdoch, Rob Potter, James Meers, 5telios , Paul Mancini, Al Napp, Tanya Kant, Jon Ramster, David Whittam, Jace Otting, BSG , Andrew Harris, Chris Ward, Adam Tickner, Peter , Emily Payne, Tim Polglase, Ted Bowyer, Matt Carr, Bobod , Michael Bryan, Richard Midwinter, Neil Ives, Mark Ryan, Ben Chapman, David Bond, Ben , Robert Simpson, Gary Sharp, Andy Shirling, Fenris Games, James , Jim Lucking, mark madgwick, Ben Sugden, Russell Webster, Sham Courtney, Louis E, Andrea Vail, Rohan , Sam Brown, Marc Lindberg, Hugh Noble, Nigel Ford, Gwyn Fisher, Matt Loren, Centuries of Sound, Amy Oliver, Christina Freeman, Paul Braithwaite, Tom Clark, Gregg Kuljian, Richard Abraham, Paul Slade, Alex Wrottesley, Ivan Shiel, Claire Allen, Iain M Barker, Dan Fairs, Tony East, Cat Conner, Jennifer Moquin, Claire Zolkwer, Seirian Hanner, Thea Mallett, Nick , ben cowell-thomas, Robert Purkis, Oli , Andy Nattan, Alex Wren, Martin Vindahl Olsen, Ilya Čolak-Antić, Adam Kaczmarek, Mike Carter, Daz Wright, Stewart C. Russell, John M, P Underwood, Thepfy , Hadleigh Charles, Mark McIntosh, Stephen Williams, Peter Wood, Darren John Harris, Mike Booth, Simon Lumb, Tim Knight, FuzzyFreaks , Stephen McAuley, Phil Barns, wigglywigglyworm , Lyra Jay, Lee Ball, Richard keeling, David Ellinor, Rachel Tougas, Ben Groom, Mr Flibble, Dave The Hammer Parry, Emma Nicol, Paul Bayfield, Swedemason , Jon Bounds, Stéphane. Other thanks: Rob Manuel for writing this shite. Monkeon, HappyToast, Matt Round, Wil & Krix for other stuff. Bung us some money. Thank you. https://www.patreon.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- : ED ZITRON - "WHY I'M ADDICTED TO PELOTON" Patreon ad "I wrote for Motherboard about why I'm addicted to peloton and how it helps keep my obsessive thoughts about my weight down" writes Ed. https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vba4dx/... ------------------------------------------------- SAVE MONEY ON YOUR WEEKLY SHOP. By being a thieving cunt at Tesco. (Edenmonster) http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/ ------------------------------------------------- : ANY OTHER BUSINESS? * Sub to the newsletter via https://www.b3ta.com/subscribe/ * Unsub If you must but you shouldn't * Submit YOUR content to newsletter: https://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ * Fund the newsletter via the patreon: https://www.patreon.com/b3ta next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive