we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "RINGO WASN'T EVEN THE BEST CUMMER IN THE BEATLES" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * IMAGES - Toilets with threatening auras * NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE - Typo Websites * FILLER - Your 'Sisters of Mercy drum machine name' ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the Lego ___/ _ |/_ > This week: Typo Websites << We're clumsily typing urls and seeing what lols we get this week. Misspell your favourite websites and photoshop the imagined results. Show us what b4ta, Feddit, and Yapoo might look like (actually skip that last one). http://b3ta.com/challenge/typowebsites ------------------------------------------------- : FRIDAY GAME The Sierpinski Zoom Game This will fuck your eyes up. Rules: blank screen = bad; lines on screen = good; move cursor to make good. https://cutelifebot.github.io/sierpinski/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * TOILETS WITH THREATENING AURAS - probably the best named Twitter account you've seen this week and will doubtless inspire Xerox-dogs. https://twitter.com/scarytoilet * MINI DAILY MAIL THING - Dr Dunno writes "Darren Cullen's mini Daily Mail is awesome. Have you done that before? This man is a genius. This piece is critical, satirical and piss-arse funny. A mini Daily Mail, hand drawn to perfection, satirising everything you hate about the Daily Mail, from the Littlejohn column ("the real racists are the people calling me racist for being racist") to the Diana supplement ("The Enemy Within" - highlighting the hypocrisy of the Daily Mail's deification of someone who stood up against everything they believe). Every page contains a zinger, from the ads to the cartoons, that I'd have been proud of on its own, let alone as part of a wider project. He's kickstarting it at the moment." https://www.spellingmistakescostlives.com/dailymai... * 10 HOURS OF "SORRY" THEME TUNE - comments include "my favorite moment is 6:15:28 didn't see that coming!", "This is my wife and my favourite music to make love to. Only problem is that the music ends before I do, could I get an 11 hour version please?" and "needs to be a bit longer next time, please. Quite frustrating." https://www.youtube.com/watch * THE WAY SCI-FI NERDS USED TO BE FEATURED ON TV IN THE 70s - spotted by Matt Round. The amazing nerds being nerds and casual sexism of the presenter is quite something. https://twitter.com/BBCArchive/status/103842673554... * HOW PICTURE EDITORS REPRESENTED THE INTERNET IN THE 90s - "I enjoyed Mr Biffo's 90s Internet article" informs Monkeon. https://www.digitiser2000.com/main-page/14-ways-ou... * SHIT QUIZ - can you tell which animal shitted it out? Sound recommended. https://www.rspb.org.uk/fun-and-learning/for-famil... ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT'S YOUR SISTERS OF MERCY GUITARIST NAME? Retro working class bloke name / Marxist (ish) Use the first letters of your first and surname to find your own 'Gary Marx' name. A: Alan A: Trotsky B: Barry B: Lenin C: Clive C: Stalin D: Colin D: Engels E: Dean E: Gramsci F: Dennis F: Guevara G: Derek G: Chi Minh H: Gareth H: Marx I: Gerald I: Luxemburg J: Gordon J: Zedong K: Graham K: Gorbachev L: Howard L: Castro M: Keith M: Zedong N: Kevin N: Il-sung O: Martin O: Milošević P: Neil P: Khrushchev Q: Nigel Q: Brezhnev R: Norman R: Chernenko S: Brian S: Corbyn T: Raymond T: Foot U: Roger U: Kinnock V: Ronald V: Miliband W: Roy W: McCluskey X: Wayne X: Balls Y: Tony Y: Umunna Z: Trevor Z: Toynbee ------------------------------------------------- : OH SHIT IT'S GOASTE CORNER Back from the grave and we're not sorry Beddoes writes, "Is accidental goatse corner still a thing? If so, I just ran across an accidental lady-goatse that made me miss my stop on the tube. Before you get too filled with trepidation about the link below, it's perfectly safe." https://twitter.com/lidhelmets/status/100612898442... ------------------------------------------------- : HEADLINES OF THE WEEK Sentences from the world's finest journalists * "Author of 'How to Murder Your Husband' Charged With Murdering Her Husband" (mediaite.com) * "I Escaped A Shark By Punching It In The Gills (The Times) * "Beat The Meatles" (New York Post) Compiled by Scaryduck http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B07GL8ZDL... ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make some bollocks and tell us. E.g. * A OUIJA BOARD FOR ROBOTS - with only zero and one on it. * HEADLINE MASHER - Dan Bull writes "a little game I like playing where I look at the top headlines... take the first part of one and the second part of another. Today I got 'Avril Lavigne injured in giraffe attack' * PORN - we've looked everywhere for it and can't find ANY on the internet. Send your shite to: https://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : CREDIT Edited by Rob Manuel & Gary Fuckcheese. Stuff from christhebarker, Artifus, Delay Tactics, Ohidunno Joke from smallbrainfield. Why not add another? http://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS You lovely people *STOOBERT*, *JOSH MCMILLAN*, *TOM JENKINS BATES*, *JON GRANT*, *SHOWRAT*, *SIMON JAMES*, *TREVOR BURTON-MCCREADIE*, *MR PHIL DONNELLY*, *KATE*, *JAMES PETTS*, *STEWART NOLAN*, *MARK MCCREADIE*, *ALEX MORRIS*, *JAMES O'BRIEN* GEORGE STEPHENSON, NAT KING COLESLAW, ANDREW WREN, JAMES CRONIN, ALISTAIR, IAN SHEEN, MARK ADAMSON, ANDREW FLEMMING, ALAN CHARLTON, SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, CHRIS BLAKENEY, BEVAN JOHNSON, CRISS MORENO, JO APPS, CHRIS LOCKE, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, GREG MCGOWAN, RICHARD BARCLAY, PATRICK CATES, 24-7 DEATH, TOM WRIGHT, JON BINSTEAD, SIMON NICHOLLS, CHRIS CARLINE, BRIAN EELES, MICHAEL TRINDER, 5 + REWARD DESCRIPTION, EUGENIE VT, TOM DOLAN. lee burnett, Bloonface , Shane McHugh, Joe Banner, Chris Garratt, Jim Woodward, Rebecca McManus, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Martin Davies, George Preston, Chris Saunders, Mike Middleton, Richard Matthias, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Brad Gregory, Graham Licence, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo), Ed Can Do, C Bond, Fergus McKay, Steve herman, Alex Walsh Atkins, Mick Curtis, Craig Turner, Joshua Thomasson, Dog Byte, Fearghas , Chris Gough, fourstar , Jonty Wareing, Nathaniel Bandersnatch, Montocat , Rob Affleck, Rhys Wynne, Marina de Joslin, Jasper Koning, Ryan Rhodes, Chris Whitworth, James Macinnes, Geoff Tidey, John Higgs, Daniel Chote, Geoffrey Balme, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Mark Wilson, Paul Cherry, Nick Ross, Ian Beveridge, Alex Mastin, Raul Arreola, Faith H. 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