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   NEWSLETTER: "I WISH TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS NEWSLETTER YET RETAIN ALL THE
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 This Week:
 * QUIZ - Test your resistance to clickbait
 * IMAGE CHALLENGE - Kids' covers for adult books
 * TYPE-IN - For your Amstrad CPC 464 (or 6128+)
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 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  'We're saving the web   
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   largely to 3.5" disks
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  in an unreadable format'
 B3ta email 681  - 8 June 2018
 Read this issue backwards and summon "Web Satan":
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue681
 -------------------------------------------------
 : CLICKY CLICKY CLICKBAIT QUIZ
   Monkeon tests your resistance to clickbait
   Quiz genius Monkeon has read all the clickbait
   on the internet and selected all the headlines
   he thinks are particularly difficult to resist,
   to see how many you can read before you succumb
   to clicking. We managed 53% resistance to
   clickbait. Can you beat us?
 https://www.monkeon.co.uk/clickbaitimmunity/
 -------------------------------------------------
 Bands where the band name is a band member's surname:
 Van Halen (Eddie)
 Bon Jovi (Jon)
 King (Paul)
 Goldfrapp (Alison)
 Dio (Ronnie James)
 Danzig (Glenn)
 Fox (Noosha)
 Gillan (Ian)
 Santana (Carlos)
 BONUS ANSWER: The Spice Girls all had the surname "Spice"
 -------------------------------------------------
 : AMSTRAD BUS FABRIC SIMULATOR
   A type-in for your CPC 464
   Rob writes "If art is the stuff you feel
   compelled to make and happens with or without
   an audience, then this is my art: code written
   for a 34 year old computer to approximate the
   designs on council tiles in the 1970s and the
   fabrics used on bus seats." And what's more,
   there's a complete listing for YOU to type into
   your Amstrad. HOORAY!
 https://b3ta.com/blog/amstrad-type-in/
 -------------------------------------------------
 Dear BBC. Twitch stream Top Of The Pops next. Thank you.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : BUY SOME FUCKING TROUSERS
   Sponsored patreon
   Hebtro make awesome trousers. And they're made
   by some old newsletter contributors in the UK.
   They also sell shorts and want you to buy lots
   of them so they can pay their VAT bill. GO
   SPEND!
 https://hebtro.co/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WASHING UP SONG
   Surprisingly good song about washing up
   When people send songs in we always cringe a
   bit as it's a tough job to make this stuff
   likeable, but Elliotmason has succeeded with an
   utterly charming tribute to the thoughts he has
   whilst washing up.
 https://youtu.be/fVn0Iq0CmvY
 -------------------------------------------------
 Mum jokes will get you far.
 But Dad jokes will get you father.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Kids’ covers for adult books
   This week's challenge is all about designing
   new covers for children's books. Do make sure
   you join in, as you get out what you put into
   this stuff, you know.
 https://www.b3ta.com/challenge/kidscoversadultbook...
   Last week's challenge about 'farm films' is
   still going strong. From a title that you might
   argue sounded unpromising, or maybe left-field,
   it has produced a really strong challenge with
   over 100 entries, with many of them being
   laugh-out-loud funny. Well done, people.
 https://www.b3ta.com/challenge/farmfilms/popular/
 -------------------------------------------------
 What do you call a big reptile that gets someone else to bite you?
 A deligator
 -------------------------------------------------
 : NEED PR? BEST CALL ED
   Sponsored patreon
   "I'm Ed Zitron and I'm running the best PR
   company in the world - and I've been reading
   B3ta for 15 years so have sponsored them."
   Thank you Ed. You're the BEST. And you have
   100k followers on Twitter. Which is pretty
   impressive, can we borrow some?
 https://twitter.com/edzitron
 -------------------------------------------------
 : MASH-UP KING SWEDEMASON IS BACK
   With something about doctors
   You know Swedemason - he did the mash-up of
   Donald Trump singing Talking Heads. Well he is
   back and writes, "Another old one that sat on
   the backburner for 10 years or so. No prizes
   for guessing who influenced the vid." Hmm,
   we're guessing an angry guy who shouts 'doctor'
   a lot?
 https://www.b3ta.com/links/Doctors
   BTW: Mr Mason is looking for work doing this
   kinda stuff, so if you reckon you could use him
   get in touch via @swedemason on Twitter.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : LOL SHIT TORY YOUTH
   Activate #Deactivates
   Spellingmistakescostlives writes, "Last year I
   set up an Instagram account for tory youth
   group Activate as a sort of sleeper cell. Plan
   was to gather right-wing followers until the
   election and then flip it into an anti-Tory
   account. Unfortunately they've folded before I
   got a chance to #activate my plan, so I wrote
   their goodbye announcement instead."
 https://www.instagram.com/p/BjqgUHynwhj/
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 What's the difference between tarka dal and regular dal?
 Tarka's a little 'otter.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : B3TA SWAG
   Send us shit in the post (not literally, you wags)
   We're running a swag page: you send us your
   stuff that you're selling and if we like it
   we'll tell people.
   Best thing this week? Some badges saying "Never
   work for The Sun" which is good advice. 
 https://b3ta.com/blog/b3ta-swag/
   PS. Never work for The Sun.
 -------------------------------------------------
 Where do mad people go to shop?
 In Sainsbury's
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEFS
   Three mini-lols for your rofl inspection
   * LOL AT THIS PRANKSTER - getting the BBC to
   read out something utterly horrendous.
 https://twitter.com/slartybartfarst/status/1004034...
   * LOL AT THIS CAFE - sticking the Flintstones
   theme on a Mozart menu.
 https://twitter.com/theshums/status/10027796151972...
   * LOL AT THIS CRUDELY DRAWN COCK TATTOO - via
   E4's Tattoo Fixers.
 https://twitter.com/AliCatterall/status/9856620529...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PROJECT IDEAS
   Stuff we'd like to see next week
  
   * WHO THE HELL UPDATES CELEB DEATHS ON
   WIKIPEDIA SO QUICKLY? Maybe do a data project
   where you check the edit history of celeb
   deaths for patterns.
  
   * WHAT ARE THE FILMS ON IMDB THAT WOMEN LIKE?
   We have a theory that there's loads of
   interesting data drowned out on IMDB because
   men vote more. We'd be interested in seeing a
   list of movies with the widest disparity of
   appeal between men and women (not including
   obscure stuff with 5 votes).
  
   * SUPER BASIC - messing around with the Amstrad
   emulator made us want a project a bit like the
   fantasy emulator Pico 8, but based around a
   fantasy 8-bit computer running fast BASIC
   rather than Lua. Bit of a big project idea
   there, but we're sure you're capable of
   tackling it. Get to work, gang.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FOLLOW UPS
   Mini news updates on last week's news
   * CYRIAK'S BOOK 85% FUNDED Please throw him
   some money to get his weird horse over the
   final hurdle.
 https://unbound.com/books/horse-destroys-the-unive...
   * YORE COMPUTER SCORED OVER 6,800 FOLLOWERS -
   proving that... well we dunno, but if you enjoy
   reading old computer mags then there's worse
   things you could do with your time.
 https://twitter.com/yorecomputer
 -------------------------------------------------
 : CREDITS
   Written by Rob Manuel using a 6 year old
   Macbook Air with two broken keys, so there's no
   using the right arrow or right shift. A cup of
   tea did that. Thanks tea.
   Subjlols via barbarossa69.
   General yays to Happy Toast, Wil and Kris.
   Proofing via mollywallop.
   Jokes by spacefish, pingudownunder, Chuckman,
   horace & cumquat may. If you've written a joke
   then please tell us at "I'm Sorry I've Written
   A Joke".
 https://www.b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenaj...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SUB / UNSUB TO B3TA NEWSLETTER
 https://www.b3ta.com/subscribe/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   The people who make it all happen
   *JOSH MCMILLAN* *AARON HOLMES* *TOM JENKINS
   BATES* *JON GRANT* *SHOWRAT * *SIMON JAMES*
   *TREVOR BURTON-MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY*
   *KATE * *JAMES PETTS* *STEWART NOLAN* *BRYAN
   PEACOCK* *MARK MCCREADIE* *ALEX MORRIS* *JAMES
   O'BRIEN*
   ANDREW WREN, JAMES CRONIN, ALISTAIR , IAN
   SHEEN, NEIL HEPBURN, MARK ADAMSON, ANDREW
   FLEMMING, ALAN CHARLTON, SPAZZCAPTAIN , WENDY
   GOODE, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, CHRIS BLAKENEY,
   BEVAN JOHNSON, CRISS MORENO, JO APPS, CHRIS
   LOCKE, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, GREG MCGOWAN,
   RICHARD BARCLAY, PATRICK CATES, 24-7 DEATH, TOM
   WRIGHT, JON BINSTEAD, SIMON NICHOLLS, CHRIS
   CARLINE, BRIAN EELES, MICHAEL TRINDER, 5 +
   REWARD DESCRIPTION, EUGENIE VT, TOM DOLAN, LEE
   BURNETT, PETER COOPER.
   Richard Matthias, Auntiesash Hazlewood,
   Jonathan Ferguson, Tom O'bedlam, Brad Gregory,
   Graham Licence, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo), Ed Can
   Do, C Bond, Fergus Mckay, Steve Herman, Alex
   Walsh Atkins, Mick Curtis, Craig Turner, Joshua
   Thomasson, Dog Byte, Fearghas , Unklefiction ,
   Chris Gough, Fourstar , Jonty Wareing, Basel
   Kirmani, Montocat , Rob Affleck, Rhys Wynne,
   Matt Machell, Marina De Joslin, Jasper Koning,
   Ryan Rhodes, James Mounter, Chris Whitworth,
   James Macinnes, Geoff Tidey, John Higgs, Daniel
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   Mark Wilson, Paul Cherry, Nick Ross, Ian
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   Martin, Tim Williams, David King, Jaymie
   Thomas, Sam Russell, Stephanie Radford, David
   Knoll, Ben Watson, Simon Holmes, Steve P,
   Gaynor Clarkson, Saleem Ahmad, Nicholas Martin,
   Chris Andrews, Jim Macarthur, John Hammersley,
   Andy Yates`, Andy Webber, Jack Barton, David
   Gardiner, Adam Molloy, Simon Mcdougall, Craig
   Tonks, Anna , Peter Gosling, Jason Stewart,
   Dave Nattriss, Philip Kinchington, Ian Boltz,
   Matt Drewry, Derek Roberts, Robbie Lesiuk,
   Bertram Wooster, Adam Inglis, James Clayton,
   David Harrison, Jim Frayling,  Mike Middleton,
   Richard Hobbs, Scott S. Kramer, Joe Simmonds,
   Julie Brumlik, Rob Mahon, Jamie Borrill, Paul
   Leader, Ivan Kelly, J&#464;m Mcn&#464;ven, Paul Healey,
   Andy Ashton, Tom Rees-Williams, David Mills,
   Martin Beer, Midnightrambler , Neil Ronketti,
   Matsimpsk , Jim Halfpenny, Dave Tickle, Andre
   Stiefenhofer, Matthew Forman, Gareth Noyce,
   Chris Paterson, James Woods, Pookong , Oliver
   Bewes, Iain , Adam Cooney, Sam Anderson, Albion
   Gray, Rupert Hull, Simon Henry, Simon
   Waterfall, Paul Westerman, Courtenay Ferris,
   Andy Tillett, Essy Dave, Martin Peache, Jerry
   Quartley, Bertil Hansson, Carl Morgan, Mark
   Hibbett, Daniel Brown, Rich Pope, John
   Matthews, Johnny Watters, Jamie Taylor, Adrian
   Woodfield, Stuart Ashen, Vicki Jakes, Jane
   Baker, Paul Smith, Will Goulden, Simon Cowan,
   Robin Whitmore, Steven Smith, Matthew Wilkes,
   John Docherty, Dan Stott, Siobhan Mcnally, Bill
   Atkinson, Jonathan , Starlord Mixtape,
   Gneissrocks , Steve Prowse, Tyronne Mann, Andy
   Storrar, Jay Roche, Peter Willman, Sarah
   Williamson, Kevin Johnston, Richard Chamley,
   Tom Gleeson, Mark Mcgowan, Ed Cook, Darren
   Stanley, Catroaster , Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
   Jim Woodward, Alexander Jamieson, Tom Crick,
   Ben Burton, Peter Ashtray, Adam Atack, Ac ,
   Derek Law, Mark Logue, Jon Weston, David
   Catley, John Foster, Matt Buchanan, Matthew
   Collinge, Joey Moore, Mark Hill, Joe Mcnally,
   Tom Ryan, Peter Mcminn, Ryan Doran, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Wil Hadden, James Donnelly, Frank
   Hollis, Sean Casely, Chris Stammers, Al
   Davidson, Martin Mackenzie, Gus Nicol, Martin
   Holloway, Mike Davis, Steve Thornton, Tim
   Mouncer, Peter Wouda, Fraser Lewry, Matthew
   Morris, Wayne Myers, Rob Vincent, Chris Shaw,
   Rick Lindley, Greg Neilson, Blossomshed , Jude
   Evans, Kev Adams, Simon Smith, David
   Edmundson-Bird, @Mattdawhit , Brian Lancaster,
   Iain Henshaw, Mathew Smith, Gia Milinovich,
   Fiona James, Robert Hills, Natalee , Anne-Marie
   Scott, James Kerry-Barnard, Greenfox , Neil De
   Carteret, Stephen Waller, Luke Mepham, Stuart
   Alldred, Adam Lloyd, Andrew Scheuber, Chris
   Branch, Jonathan Wooddin, Obiw4N Shinobi, Jason
   Law, Dominic Haigh, Townsendspublisher , Steve
   Anglesey, Iain Brassington, Heidi Colthup, Ross
   Carter, Chris Evans, Edward Almond, James
   Golbey, Johnnie Shannon, Alex Lovett, Peter
   Coombe, David Ault, Kate Devlin, Alex Hayton,
   James Shakespeare, Jiminy Hall, Tim Weaver,
   Lisa Westhaven, James O'malley, Emma Lay, Phil
   Wade, Rossoverthere , Tim Jokl, Catherine
   Mcallister, Steve Laker, Damien Smith, Jim
   Dabell, John Faragher, Eric Von Borstel,
   Malcolm Franks, Richard Beckett, No Reward
   Description: (None For No Reward), Nick Morgan,
   Rog Sharples, Ben Brice, Iain Moffatt, Justin
   Brett, Louise Allen, David Green, Matthew
   Mould, Riven A Buckley, Robin , Luche , Ian
   Appleby, Pete , Tobie Fysh, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, David Barton, Jess Baker, Tom
   Freke, Jan Spielhoff, Sean Flanagan, Mike
   Congreve, Chris Johnson, John Field, Emma
   Sykes, Carl Mesner Lyons, Ross Dobson, David
   Stark, Adam Beardwood, Dominic Le Garsmeur,
   Mark Benson, Chris Goode, Andrew Robinson,
   Nicky Hewgill, Michael Kitt, Tim Beachy, Rose
   Johnson, Paul Topping, Connor Parslow, Daniel
   Moeller, Irene Semanchuk, Alexandre Strube,
   Craig Naples, Steve Bryant, Richard Speed,
   Alastair Dodd, Rhys Jones, Joseph Mulvaney,
   Julie Beacock, Sentient Meatbag, Dan Tasse,
   Peter Royal, Harry Wearne, Duncan Strickland,
   Andy Candler, Deny Coughlan, Russ Anderson,
   Nick Kent, Dave Gee, Pete Ashton, Peter
   Keelback, Wine School Of Philadelphia, John
   Griffiths, Nick Murdoch, Rob Potter, James
   Meers, 5Telios , Paul Mancini, Al Napp, Tanya
   Kant, Jon Ramster, David Whittam, Jace Otting,
   Bsg , Andrew Harris, Chris Ward, Adam Tickner,
   Peter , Emily Payne, Tim Polglase, Ted Bowyer,
   Matt Carr, Bobod , Michael Bryan, Richard
   Midwinter, Neil Ives, Mark Ryan, Ben Chapman,
   David Bond, Ben , Robert Simpson, Gary Sharp,
   Andy Shirling, Fenris Games, James , Jim
   Lucking, Mark Madgwick, Ben Sugden, Russell
   Webster, Sham Courtney, Louis E, Andrea Vail,
   Rohan , Sam Brown, Marc Lindberg, Hugh Noble,
   Nigel Ford, Gwyn Fisher, Matt Loren, Centuries
   Of Sound, Amy Oliver, Christina Freeman, Paul
   Braithwaite, Tom Clark, Gregg Kuljian, Richard
   Abraham, Paul Slade, Alex Wrottesley, Ivan
   Shiel, Claire Allen, Iain M Barker, Dan Fairs,
   Tony East, Cat Conner, Jennifer Moquin, Claire
   Zolkwer, Seirian Hanner, Thea Mallett, Nick ,
   Ben Cowell-Thomas, Robert Purkis, Oli , Andy
   Nattan, Alex Wren, Martin Vindahl Olsen, Ilya
   &#268;olak-Anti&#263;, Adam Kaczmarek, Mike Carter, Daz
   Wright, Stewart C. Russell, John M, P
   Underwood, Thepfy , Hadleigh Charles, Mark
   Mcintosh, Stephen Williams, Peter Wood, Darren
   John Harris, Mike Booth, Simon Lumb, Tim
   Knight, Fuzzyfreaks , Stephen Mcauley, Phil
   Barns, Wigglywigglyworm , Lyra Jay, Lee Ball,
   Richard Keeling, David Ellinor, Rachel Tougas,
   Ben Groom, Mr Flibble, David Parry, Emma Nicol,
   Paul Bayfield, Swedemason , Jon Bounds,
   Stéphane.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PLEASE SUPPORT B3TA PATREON
   This is all funded by you. Please chuck money
   in so we can do stupid newsletters and write
   Amstrad BASIC instead of doing a proper job.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
   TOP TIP:
   Normal-sized Mars bars make ideal mini sized
   Mars bars for giants.
 http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/

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   --------------------
   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
   --------------------

   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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