we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "IT'S NOT A LETTER AND IT DOESN'T CONTAIN NEWS" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * YORE COMPUTER - Wallow in old computer mags * STAR WARS VS DISNEY - The truth! * QUIZ - Judging books from their cover ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We apologise once again ___/ _ |/_ > This week: farming films << Now we want you to muck around with films and add the theme of farming. Of course. https://www.b3ta.com/challenge/farmfilms/popular/ ------------------------------------------------- Doctor: "If you continue to gorge on Lindt chocolates you'll get diabetes. I've arranged for the nurses to hide your stash." Hue from the Hue & Cry: "I'll never stop looking, never stop looking for Lindor." ------------------------------------------------- : KIDS TELL JOKES Jokes written by kids * why does the crow laugh beacause they are mad ha ha ha I am also mad * What do you get when you cross a t-rex and a chicken nothing but death * who is the old man that have six eyes it is you * who is fool in the world? everyone is * what did the colour orenge say to the fruit orenge ? im calling the cops cose you stole my name * why wolves howl? because they have no idea what are they doing * what is the best part of bread... bread https://twitter.com/KidsWriteJokes ------------------------------------------------- : TWATTER Sponsored patreon Kevin Prescott has made a very alarming alternative to Twitter called Twatter and wants you to look at it - he's called it an "anti-social network" but is up for better ideas of what he could do with the URL if you have any ideas. https://www.twatter.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we liked, handily pre-clicked for you * YOUR EDITOR MADE A JOKE ON TWITTER AND KERRY KATONA ENDING UP SINGING IT - there's something about writing up Twitter jokes as articles that always makes people sound like utter morons "When Rob Manuel realised Pret sells pretzels, he was very excited" https://bit.ly/2sAEG8K * JUST LOOK AT THESE CORNER CUPBOARDS - people are sharing their innovative corner cabinets and it's sorta interesting. https://imgur.com/t/corner_cabinet * MICK DADDER - Mick Jagger leaving dorky dad comments on his teenage son's Instagram posts is very relatable. Actually feel a little bit sorry for Mick here - he's reaching out to his son and he doesn't know what to say. https://twitter.com/dpatrickrodgers/status/1001899... * POUNDLAND DUNKING ON THAMESLINK IS FUNNY - get the feeling that Poundland's social media can do what the hell they like as their parent company is in financial woe. https://twitter.com/TheStuffOfMemes/status/1001869... * TWITCH STREAMING 500 EPISODES OF OLD DOCTOR WHO - turns out that watching TV with a 90s style internet chatroom happening at the same time is exactly what people want to do. Brilliant. https://www.twitch.tv/directory/game/Doctor%20Who ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE GOATSE CORNER A restaurant logo in San Francisco They must know. They must surely know. https://bit.ly/2J8NlKN ------------------------------------------------- : COPYWRITER WANTS JOB Sponsored patreon One of our sponsorships slots has been taken by Josh, who writes: "A good friend of mine is looking for a decent job doing good copywriting for someone who's not a cunt. I've not told him I'm going to do this but how would you feel about plugging him in the newsletter? His name is Thom Wong." https://allknown.info/ ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS The people who make it all happen *JOSH MCMILLAN* *AARON HOLMES* *TOM JENKINS BATES* *JON GRANT* *SHOWRAT * *SIMON JAMES* *TREVOR BURTON-MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *KATE * *JAMES PETTS* *STEWART NOLAN* *BRYAN PEACOCK* *MARK MCCREADIE* *ALEX MORRIS* *JAMES O'BRIEN* ANDREW WREN, JAMES CRONIN, ALISTAIR , IAN SHEEN, NEIL HEPBURN, MARK ADAMSON, ANDREW FLEMMING, ALAN CHARLTON, SPAZZCAPTAIN , WENDY GOODE, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, CHRIS BLAKENEY, BEVAN JOHNSON, CRISS MORENO, JO APPS, CHRIS LOCKE, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, GREG MCGOWAN, RICHARD BARCLAY, PATRICK CATES, 24-7 DEATH, TOM WRIGHT, JON BINSTEAD, SIMON NICHOLLS, CHRIS CARLINE, BRIAN EELES, MICHAEL TRINDER, 5 + REWARD DESCRIPTION, EUGENIE VT, TOM DOLAN, LEE BURNETT, PETER COOPER. Richard Matthias, Auntiesash Hazlewood, Jonathan Ferguson, Tom O'bedlam, Brad Gregory, Graham Licence, Paul Rose (Mr Biffo), Ed Can Do, C Bond, Fergus Mckay, Steve Herman, Alex Walsh Atkins, Mick Curtis, Craig Turner, Joshua Thomasson, Dog Byte, Fearghas , Unklefiction , Chris Gough, Fourstar , Jonty Wareing, Basel Kirmani, Montocat , Rob Affleck, Rhys Wynne, Matt Machell, Marina De Joslin, Jasper Koning, Ryan Rhodes, James Mounter, Chris Whitworth, James Macinnes, Geoff Tidey, John Higgs, Daniel Chote, Geoffrey Balme, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Mark Wilson, Paul Cherry, Nick Ross, Ian Beveridge, Alex Mastin, Raul Arreola, Faith H. Martin, Tim Williams, David King, Jaymie Thomas, Sam Russell, Stephanie Radford, David Knoll, Ben Watson, Simon Holmes, Steve P, Gaynor Clarkson, Saleem Ahmad, Nicholas Martin, Chris Andrews, Jim Macarthur, John Hammersley, Andy Yates`, Andy Webber, Jack Barton, David Gardiner, Adam Molloy, Simon Mcdougall, Craig Tonks, Anna , Peter Gosling, Jason Stewart, Dave Nattriss, Philip Kinchington, Ian Boltz, Matt Drewry, Derek Roberts, Robbie Lesiuk, Bertram Wooster, Adam Inglis, James Clayton, David Harrison, Jim Frayling, Mike Middleton, Richard Hobbs, Scott S. Kramer, Joe Simmonds, Julie Brumlik, Rob Mahon, Jamie Borrill, Paul Leader, Ivan Kelly, Jǐm Mcnǐven, Paul Healey, Andy Ashton, Tom Rees-Williams, David Mills, Martin Beer, Midnightrambler , Neil Ronketti, Matsimpsk , Jim Halfpenny, Dave Tickle, Andre Stiefenhofer, Matthew Forman, Gareth Noyce, Chris Paterson, James Woods, Pookong , Oliver Bewes, Iain , Adam Cooney, Sam Anderson, Albion Gray, Rupert Hull, Simon Henry, Simon Waterfall, Paul Westerman, Courtenay Ferris, Andy Tillett, Essy Dave, Martin Peache, Jerry Quartley, Bertil Hansson, Carl Morgan, Mark Hibbett, Daniel Brown, Rich Pope, John Matthews, Johnny Watters, Jamie Taylor, Adrian Woodfield, Stuart Ashen, Vicki Jakes, Jane Baker, Paul Smith, Will Goulden, Simon Cowan, Robin Whitmore, Steven Smith, Matthew Wilkes, John Docherty, Dan Stott, Siobhan Mcnally, Bill Atkinson, Jonathan , Starlord Mixtape, Gneissrocks , Steve Prowse, Tyronne Mann, Andy Storrar, Jay Roche, Peter Willman, Sarah Williamson, Kevin Johnston, Richard Chamley, Tom Gleeson, Mark Mcgowan, Ed Cook, Darren Stanley, Catroaster , Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton, Jim Woodward, Alexander Jamieson, Tom Crick, Ben Burton, Peter Ashtray, Adam Atack, Ac , Derek Law, Mark Logue, Jon Weston, David Catley, John Foster, Matt Buchanan, Matthew Collinge, Joey Moore, Mark Hill, Joe Mcnally, Tom Ryan, Peter Mcminn, Ryan Doran, Konrad Petrusewicz, Wil Hadden, James Donnelly, Frank Hollis, Sean Casely, Chris Stammers, Al Davidson, Martin Mackenzie, Gus Nicol, Martin Holloway, Mike Davis, Steve Thornton, Tim Mouncer, Peter Wouda, Fraser Lewry, Matthew Morris, Wayne Myers, Rob Vincent, Chris Shaw, Rick Lindley, Greg Neilson, Blossomshed , Jude Evans, Kev Adams, Simon Smith, David Edmundson-Bird, @Mattdawhit , Brian Lancaster, Iain Henshaw, Mathew Smith, Gia Milinovich, Fiona James, Robert Hills, Natalee , Anne-Marie Scott, James Kerry-Barnard, Greenfox , Neil De Carteret, Stephen Waller, Luke Mepham, Stuart Alldred, Adam Lloyd, Andrew Scheuber, Chris Branch, Jonathan Wooddin, Obiw4N Shinobi, Jason Law, Dominic Haigh, Townsendspublisher , Steve Anglesey, Iain Brassington, Heidi Colthup, Ross Carter, Chris Evans, Edward Almond, James Golbey, Johnnie Shannon, Alex Lovett, Peter Coombe, David Ault, Kate Devlin, Alex Hayton, James Shakespeare, Jiminy Hall, Tim Weaver, Lisa Westhaven, James O'malley, Emma Lay, Phil Wade, Rossoverthere , Tim Jokl, Catherine Mcallister, Steve Laker, Damien Smith, Jim Dabell, John Faragher, Eric Von Borstel, Malcolm Franks, Richard Beckett, No Reward Description: (None For No Reward), Nick Morgan, Rog Sharples, Ben Brice, Iain Moffatt, Justin Brett, Louise Allen, David Green, Matthew Mould, Riven A Buckley, Robin , Luche , Ian Appleby, Pete , Tobie Fysh, Gavin Tommey, Stuart Richards, David Barton, Jess Baker, Tom Freke, Jan Spielhoff, Sean Flanagan, Mike Congreve, Chris Johnson, John Field, Emma Sykes, Carl Mesner Lyons, Ross Dobson, David Stark, Adam Beardwood, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson, Chris Goode, Andrew Robinson, Nicky Hewgill, Michael Kitt, Tim Beachy, Rose Johnson, Paul Topping, Connor Parslow, Daniel Moeller, Irene Semanchuk, Alexandre Strube, Craig Naples, Steve Bryant, Richard Speed, Alastair Dodd, Rhys Jones, Joseph Mulvaney, Julie Beacock, Sentient Meatbag, Dan Tasse, Peter Royal, Harry Wearne, Duncan Strickland, Andy Candler, Deny Coughlan, Russ Anderson, Nick Kent, Dave Gee, Pete Ashton, Peter Keelback, Wine School Of Philadelphia, John Griffiths, Nick Murdoch, Rob Potter, James Meers, 5Telios , Paul Mancini, Al Napp, Tanya Kant, Jon Ramster, David Whittam, Jace Otting, Bsg , Andrew Harris, Chris Ward, Adam Tickner, Peter , Emily Payne, Tim Polglase, Ted Bowyer, Matt Carr, Bobod , Michael Bryan, Richard Midwinter, Neil Ives, Mark Ryan, Ben Chapman, David Bond, Ben , Robert Simpson, Gary Sharp, Andy Shirling, Fenris Games, James , Jim Lucking, Mark Madgwick, Ben Sugden, Russell Webster, Sham Courtney, Louis E, Andrea Vail, Rohan , Sam Brown, Marc Lindberg, Hugh Noble, Nigel Ford, Gwyn Fisher, Matt Loren, Centuries Of Sound, Amy Oliver, Christina Freeman, Paul Braithwaite, Tom Clark, Gregg Kuljian, Richard Abraham, Paul Slade, Alex Wrottesley, Ivan Shiel, Claire Allen, Iain M Barker, Dan Fairs, Tony East, Cat Conner, Jennifer Moquin, Claire Zolkwer, Seirian Hanner, Thea Mallett, Nick , Ben Cowell-Thomas, Robert Purkis, Oli , Andy Nattan, Alex Wren, Martin Vindahl Olsen, Ilya Čolak-Antić, Adam Kaczmarek, Mike Carter, Daz Wright, Stewart C. Russell, John M, P Underwood, Thepfy , Hadleigh Charles, Mark Mcintosh, Stephen Williams, Peter Wood, Darren John Harris, Mike Booth, Simon Lumb, Tim Knight, Fuzzyfreaks , Stephen Mcauley, Phil Barns, Wigglywigglyworm , Lyra Jay, Lee Ball, Richard Keeling, David Ellinor, Rachel Tougas, Ben Groom, Mr Flibble, David Parry, Emma Nicol, Paul Bayfield, Swedemason , Jon Bounds, Stéphane. ------------------------------------------------- : PLEASE SUPPORT B3TA PATREON This is all funded by you. Please chuck money in so we can do stupid newsletter and run stupid web projects instead of doing a proper job. https://www.patreon.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- : SUB https://www.b3ta.com/subscribe/ ------------------------------------------------- : SOME JOKES AS A REWARD FOR GETTING TO THE END What do Kanye West and brussel sprouts have in common? I hate them Contrary to popular belief, Stephen Hawking wasn't a theoretical physicist. He was real. What's #000000 and #FFFFFF and #FF0000 all over? A newspaper dot com Please write a joke and apologise for it: https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/ next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive