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 "Fake newsletter! Sad!"
 This Week:
 * THERESA MAT BOT - Better than the real thing
 * SURVEY RESULTS - Why people unfriend on Facebook?
 * JOHN NOAKES - Photoshop tributes
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 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're refreshing
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   the share attachment
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ... together"
 B3ta email 675 - 02 Jun 2017
 Read this issue to your mum, she'll like it:
 http://b3ta.com/blog/issue675
 Friend b3ta on Facebook:
 https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SPONSORED LINK
   HebTroCo - British Made To Last
   Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out
   of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.
   Ed and brant went to the pub and even though
   they had no previous experience, they somehow
   decided to start a trouser company. They
   launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of
   trousers in five hours. That was about a year
   and a bit ago, and they've now got British made
   boots and belts and lots of different trousers
   too. 
 https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
 http://www.hebtro.co
   BTW: These guys are old B3tans who've been
   reading the site for years. Have a look at their
   trousers. Go on.
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THERESA MAY BOT 2.0
   So Theresa is hiding from the media and the
   public because she's frankly not very good at
   public engagement and also needs to spend her
   time thinking about Brexit.
   So we thought we'd make a bot to speak FOR her.
   Any media outlets who need an interview then
   just get on Twitter and chat to her. Job done.
 https://twitter.com/theresa_may_bot
 -------------------------------------------------
 : TRIVIAL REASONS FOR UNFRIENDING ON SOCIAL MEDIA
   A survey of you lot
   We asked you to tell us reasons you unfollowed
   people on social media. 250 of you answered and
   we picked the best.
   * "Seemed appropriate after the divorce"
   * "You won't see this in the MSM, but.."
   * "They had a smug username"
   * "Having a harry potter themed wedding"
   * "Too many tweets about Porcupine Tree"
  
   Read them all:
 http://b3ta.com/blog/unfriending-people-for-trivia...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
   Other than making sweet sweet linky love
         * DAVID 'SALAD FINGERS' FIRTH'S LATEST - it's
         called 'Cream' and it's great.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch
   * HOLLYWOOD MOVIES, IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT -
   DefyingDarwin writes, "Look at my shiny sweaty
   face... I have hayfever, I can't go outside, I
   AM BORED... I found a list of movie quotes... I
   can do a passable west country accent: this is
   the sum of all those things!"
 http://b3ta.com/links/1442610
   * KERMODE AND MAYO TO DO THE CLASSIC B3TA QUO -
   DinivanX writes, "Yas! I Got Kermode and Mayo to
   Do the Classic B3ta Quo Pose"
 http://b3ta.com/links/1442391
 -------------------------------------------------
 : LISTEN TO ASHENS PODCAST
  
   Old B3tan Ashen is now a super popular youtuber
   with 1.2 million subs. Wow. Anyway his latest
   project is a podcast. He writes, "There's
   nothing more depressing than watching a bad
   sequel to a film you love. Allow the Sequelisers
   to alleviate your pain - it's a fun podcast
   where two teams pitch ideas for fixing bad
   sequels to good movies."
 https://www.sequelisers.com
 -------------------------------------------------
 : ROGER MOORE GIF TRIBUTE
   This hearse doing a corkscrew jump is the
   animated gif tribute to Roger Moore you were
   waiting to see, such a short little thing but
   absolutely perfect - we've been watching it on a
   loop
 http://b3ta.com/blog/hearse-corkscrew-jump/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : THREE B3TA PHOTOSHOPS TO REMEMBER JOHN NOAKES
   * The B3tans have been paying tribute to the
   sadly departed John Noakes and it's making us
   emotional
 http://b3ta.com/blog/three-best-b3ta-photoshops-to...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEETELS DR PEPPER
   * 50 this week and old B3tan Chris Shaw has bee
   researching all the pics that made the ciover.
  http://sgtpepperphotos.wordpress.com  #SgtPepper50
   * BONUS: Paul chats up a photographer at the Sgt
   Pepper launch party. Linda Eastman later became
   Mrs McCartney.
 https://twitter.com/ChrisShawEditor/status/8701821...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PLEASED TO GET A SHOUT OUT FROM TOM WATSON
   Deputy Leader of Labout calls b3ta "old"
  
   "Good old b3ta. Genius, as ever." writes Tom
   Watson MP.
 https://twitter.com/tom_watson/status/869957969097...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   You know... links
   * STRONG HEADLINE WORK FROM @LRB - "Who's the
   real cunt? by Andrew O'Hagan" - on The Daily
   Mail and Paul Dacre.
 https://www.lrb.co.uk/v39/n11/andrew-ohagan/whos-t...
   * PICTURES OF OLD ROBOTS FROM THE 20s-30s,
   featuring pictures and video of old time robots,
   not in English but it doesn't matter.
 https://www.ecofuture.cz/clanek/retro-pohled-do-do...
   * "BACK TAE THE FUTURE" - Back to the Future
   reimagined in Scottish.
 https://twitter.com/BackTaeTheToon
   * "TAINTED BUFFET AT JACKSONVILLE STRIP CLUB
   BLAMED AFTER SEVERE DIARRHEA INCIDENT ON STAGE"
   - our second headline of the week after the cunt
   one.
 http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jackson...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : QUESTION OF THE WEEK
   This week: Family Scandals
  
   What skeletons are there in your family's
   collective cupboards? Asks enzyme. Tell us your
   shameful, scurrilous and generally regrettable
   family histories... for laughs
 http://b3ta.com/questions/Familyscandals
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Anti Tory Election Posters
   Here's the best images from last week:
   * TORY XP -  Bigger version I done a load of
   anti-tory posters you can download and print
   here: www.toriesout.co.uk
   (spellingmistakescostlives)
 http://b3ta.com/board/11228006
   * PRETTY PLEASE -  (HappyToast)
 http://b3ta.com/board/11228227
   * SCHLONG & MABEL -  (Smallbrainfield)
 http://b3ta.com/board/11227975
   * See all the other images from the 'Anti Tory
   Election Posters' challenge:
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/antitory2017
   >> This week: 404 part 2 <<
   We want you to come up with new ideas for the
   B3ta 404 (Page not found) message. We'll take
   the best ones and use them on the site, so it's
   your chance for a little bit of internet fame
   and immortality.
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/4042
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SPONSORED LINK
   HebTroCo - British Made To Last
   Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out
   of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.
   Ed and brant went to the pub and even though
   they had no previous experience, they somehow
   decided to start a trouser company. They
   launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of
   trousers in five hours. That was about a year
   and a bit ago, and they've now got British made
   boots and belts and lots of different trousers
   too. 
 https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
 http://www.hebtro.co
   BTW: Yes we're running the ad twice. Old B3tans.
   Click them please.
  
 -------------------------------------------------
 Follow b3ta on Twitter:
 https://www.twitter.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 TOP TIP: IF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS DOING HIS 'OH
 SO IMPORTANT' GCSE COURSEWORK... - Access the
 autocorrect function in Word, and replace
 "Analysis" with "Anal Sex". 9 times out of 10 they
 won't notice until they've handed it in. (Furness)
 http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips
 -------------------------------------------------
 REMEMBER: VOTE ON THURSDAY YOU CUNTS!

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