we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "WHY'S IT CALLED A CHEEKY NANDO'S? BECAUSE YOU'RE EATING CHICKEN'S ARSEHOLES" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * JEREMY CLARKSON - reviews games * MAD MEN - for the internet age * A PARROT - shouting into a little cup ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving our fluids ___/ _ |/_ > Where were the people who didn't vote? << "What about the other millions of people who didn’t vote in the General Election?" inquires, er, 'Tony Stark'. "A covert team went out on the day and captured where people went instead of the polling stations." The results will SHOCK* you. https://youtu.be/hhM-eDqRaew >> 'Say no to gluten' rap << "Here's a song about the evils of wheat-based life," evangelises Dave WALLOP, "And the merits of going Gluten Free." It's worryingly catchy. https://www.youtube.com/watch >> Boardgame about worshipping a holy chicken << "Remember War on Terror: the boardgame?" prompts Tarka_the_Frotter. "Well I've made a new game and this one's about religion. "In this one, you get to create your own religion, around the worship of a holy chicken. It's called The Hen Commandments." https://goo.gl/7PCdCi ------------------------------------------------ : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Fingers' challenge Last week asked to see your fingers, because weird, flexible, gristle-and-bone-filled sausages are our thing. Your favourites included: * Quo: Rick and Francis classic pose recreated in paint and digits. (HappyToast) http://b3ta.com/board/11150688 * Handtler: the fuhrer finger. (collapsibletank) http://b3ta.com/board/11150730 * Duel: a very painful looking falling out. (Flash Bastard) http://b3ta.com/board/11151125 All these images, and a load more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/fingers/ >> New challenge: Fingers << This week we're running down the canine hit parade. Show us the albums (and singles) that make dogs wag their tails. From Pink Floyd's 'Bark Side of the Moon' to Run DMC's 'Walkies This Way'. http://b3ta.com/challenge/dogalbums/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * FROTTAGE INTERVIEW - interview with a guy who rubs himself against strangers on the Tube. Er... Stop doing that! http://goo.gl/jhQzus * FASCINATING HIDDEN GAME - for two years no one noticed the weird extra bit in a Kanye West RPG. Spooky. http://goo.gl/NOMVhh * MAD MEN 2.0 - what if you nicked gifs of Mad Men and pretended they were talking about modern web advertising? You'd make us depressed. That's what. http://madmenintegrated.tumblr.com/ * WAR ON DAILY MAIL - There's a bot on Reddit that screengrabs Daily Mail stories so you can read them without contributing to their clicks. http://www.reddit.com/user/DailMail_Bot * FOUR LOL FOUR - this 404 page made us stare for two seconds then roll our eyes SO HARD. http://www.reddogmusic.co.uk/404pagenotfound * BLAKE'S 7 EBAY SALE - Blimey! You can buy the original Liberator ship from Blake's 7 on eBay. Not sure we'd pay £33,000 for it, mind. http://goo.gl/IkSc9Z ------------------------------------------------- Follow @b3ta on Twitter: https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- : TWO BITS OF PROOF THAT THE INTERNET IS Officially uncool now 1. Some shitty airline company has made a long, boring video full of dank, old memes. It's hard to watch and makes us wish we were into CB radios instead. https://www.youtube.com/watch 2. We don't understand how anyone can celebrate 10 years of YouTube when it's used to propagate Jamie Oliver rapping. Jesus wept! Close YouTube NOW. https://www.youtube.com/watch ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Animated jpeg sequences with sequenced audio * SELFIE DRONE - You know how every Kickstarter is shit? Well so is this - some kind of drone selfie machine. Awful. Everyone associated with this should be killed. By drones. https://www.lily.camera/ * FARTY MUSIC - so this guy recorded his fart, noticed it was a "major seventh arpeggio in B flat" and recorded a whole tune around it. https://www.youtube.com/watch * JUST A PARROT... having a bit of a shout into a cup. We've all done it. Actually we have, and so have you. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1305030/ * HEARING TEST - here's a short, mean comedy video that perfectly demonstrates the 'rule of three'. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Hearing_Test * CARDBOARD AEROPLANE - it's the joyous laughter that makes this short video such a delight. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1305529/ * JEREMY CLARKSON REVIEWS AMSTRAD COMPUTER GAMES - Did you know... just before he got his gig presenting Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson was a video game journalist/reviewer? https://www.youtube.com/watch ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow ups on previous stories >> Shed of the year shortlist << This year's Sheddies are a little different - the judges have selected a shortlist and now you, the public, get to choose the ultimate shed winner. "Some quirky entries as you would expect but a lot of love and hard work put in from the sheddies," notes Ultimate Shed Overlord unclewilco. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1304684/ ------------------------------------------------- : TWEET PERSONALITY QUIZ IDEA We're too lazy to turn into a 'thing' 1. Go to this list http://www.imdb.com/chart/top 2. Look up the film in the chart that matches your age 3. This is the story of your year Us? "The Tramp struggles to live in modern industrial society with the help of a young homeless woman." ------------------------------------------------- Kiss us: [email protected] Miss us: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Dan dan dan, Cragget and tits. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top tip via robneymcplum. ------------------------------------------------- Friend b3ta on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/b3tan ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Want your partner to be back earlier than planned? Simply type 'youporn' into Google. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive