we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "HELLO? DOES ANYONE EVEN CHECK THEIR JUNK MAIL FOLDERS ANY MORE?" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * RUSSELL BRAND SIMULATOR - 'Nuff said * PRISON - for trolls * SPACE ODYSSEY - only crap ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving CB-Radio ___/ _ |/_ > It's the Russell Brand Simulator << Experience a day in the life of Britain's foremost revolutionary rabble-rousing rascal in this choose-your-own-adventure game. (via jimbobabu) https://brandmoralquandary.wordpress.com/ >> David Bowie in one minute, in one take << "I made a thing about the life and times of David Bowie. Hope people like it!" writes Cap'n, "It includes laughing gnomes and the Labyrinth crotch bulge." http://www.b3ta.com/links/1275855 >> "Frozen" Blood Test Scene << Leehardcastle - the guy who puts the obscene into plasticine is back with something to upset the kids. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Frozen_Blood_Test_scene ------------------------------------------------- : FOLLOW @B3TA ON Twitter For images and newsletter links Frontpaged images now appear in the Twitter feed, it's actually really good. You should follow. https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- : WATCHING THIS ZOOM WILL MAKE YOU BUY A CAMERA Er... like /we've/ just done on a whim So watch this amazing pan back zoom, extraordinary yes? https://gfycat.com/OblongFavoriteGiraffe It was made on a £200 camera without any special equipment. http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00E0YFOK... ------------------------------------------------- : APOLOGIES FOR NO NEWSLETTER FOR TWO WEEKS Your B3ta editor Rob was busy with... * Last Friday attending the UKIP conference and writing about it. http://goo.gl/5LWdo3 * The week before it was The Story conference, so sorry about that. Normal service is now resumed. http://thestory.org.uk/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO TO PRISON FOR TROLLING - In January 2014, two people were found guilty of sending rape and death-threats to feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez, in the highest-profile online abuse case Britain has yet seen. http://goo.gl/HPYwBl * WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WORK AT THE DAILY MAIL - guy who worked there spills the dirt. Surprise surprise, it sounds horrible. http://goo.gl/8Jxjsj * IF YOU GO TO THE CINEMA ONCE A WEEK THEN SEE THIS - neat idea for a weekly email list. One cinema recommendation. Last three recommendations? It Follows, Still Alice and The Duke of Burgundy. http://www.delveweekly.com/ * THE GARY GLITTER FANS WHO STILL LOVE HIM - Some seem pretty reasonable and just like the old music. One or two of them are, well, "interesting". http://goo.gl/jlHyAR * LOVELY SEWING PATTERN GIFS - more of this please. http://goo.gl/p6efbA * RAILWAY MODEL FIGURES OF PEOPLE DOING THE SEX - and ladies of the night. Endorsed by Top Gear dickhead James May of all people, "It's my kind of model shop." http://goo.gl/lFwPFH ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Like YouTube but er... just like YouTube * AN AD THAT FINALLY RECOGNISES YOU'LL ONLY WATCH 5 SECONDS OF IT ON YOUTUBE - fuck knows what they're selling though and we don't care. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Advert * 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, WITH THE PORTSMOUTH SINFONIA - fucking dreadful but amusing. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1278295 * THE BALLAD OF BILLY JOHN - "This had me in tears" writes miss fortunate. http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Ballad_of_Billy_John * JULIE ANDREWS SINGS DEATH METAL - a well-worn but pleasing concept. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Julie_Andrews_might_need... * WILDLIFE VIDEO - re-edited so you feel less bad about the death. Arguably comedy, arguably making a point about the power of labelling. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mixed_emotions_Wildebees... * MAN CAUGHT GOING TO SEE 50 SHADES OF GREY - Yep, he doesn't look too happy to be on camera. http://www.b3ta.com/links/50_Shades_Of_Shame ------------------------------------------------- : FRIDAY GAME(S) You remember web games right? * FRIGHTENING DROWNING GAME - we didn't enjoy this one bit. It's that good. Use scroll button to stay alive. http://sortieenmer.com/ * LOCK AND KEY GAME - short and cute. http://ncase.me/door/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Stars of the past today' challenge Last week we asked what you thought dead celebs would be up to if they were alive today. Your favourites included: * Anne: Ceiling Frank is watching you. (Ninj) http://b3ta.com/board/11137347 * Diana: Working the publicity machine (robneymcplum) http://b3ta.com/board/11136901 * Houdini: New media magician. (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11138177 All these images, and a load more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/starspasttoday/ >> New challenge: Combine classic art << This week we’re raiding the art galleries and mashing up great masters. Pick two or more famous old paintings and stitch them together to create something new. Introduce Whistler's Mother to the Laughing Cavalier and sail Napoleon's fleet across the Hay Wain. http://b3ta.com/challenge/combineoldart/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE (THE OTHER TWO) * 'Film Spoonerisms' best image? 'The nazis and nuns never knew what hit them' (2pints) http://b3ta.com/board/11136356 * Best 'Animals at war' image? 'The Zebra navy never knew what hit it.' http://b3ta.com/board/11133991 ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stuff. * CYRIAK BEING CLEVER - this time about Madonna falling down on stage. SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE! SHE SO DID! https://twitter.com/cyriakharris/status/5709701564... ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by barst, buffet_the_appetite_slayer, UltimateMonkey, SnowyTheWereRabbit, RompaStompa, lustreboy, tits, Fluffster, eViLegion, smaggers & The Accidental Troll. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Tip sandettie light vessel automatic. Subjlolz via Muns. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Save money on joining an expensive running club by hanging around outside for them to come out and then just run after them. ------------------------------------------------- : FOLLOW @B3TA ON TWITTER Go on. Do it now. https://twitter.com/b3ta next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive