we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "WE BOUGHT IT TO HELP WITH YOUR GRANDAD'S HOMEWORK" next issue » « previous issue "We bought it to help with your Grandad's homework" This Week: * FAWLTY - meets DelBoy * SPECTRUM TEARDOWN - like porn but with tech * WHALE POO - because why not? ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web ___/ _ |/_ > Start-up software architecture generator << "Here's a bit of silliness I've been working on recently," begins Fraser S. "Need inspiration for your growth-hacked startup's distributed Big-Data Web-Scale Cloud Platform SaaS App architecture?" http://tectur.io/ >> The Nag's Towers << The two funniest ever scenes from a BBC comedy mashed into one seamless narative, or something like that. "It's really a shameless copy of Fresh Water Mole's image comp thing," confesses sithemong. http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Nags_Towers >> Smearballs new showreel << "Here's a pile of my work from the past few years," writes legendary b3ta alumnus smearballs. "Realized I probably made too many videos of me dancing like a turd with a celebrity head on. Love that Conan said 'Smearballs' on the air though." http://www.b3ta.com/links/New_showreel ------------------------------------------------- : UVT Stuff from that other site we also do * We've redesigned Monopoly to make it more accurate. Without inherited wealth you lose. http://usvsth3m.com/post/austerity-the-board-game * The new all-female Ghostbusters will be great, but I hope they dump the capitalist propaganda http://usvsth3m.com/post/nationalise-ghostbusters-... * What's your favourite ridiculous movie tagline? Here are some of the silliest we've ever seen http://usvsth3m.com/post/whats-your-favourite-ridi... ------------------------------------------------- : HEY HEY 16K ANNIVERSARY BONANZA Ten years ago this March we made a vid for @MJHibbett's Hey Hey 16k. Ten years! Blimey. Anyway, now the great man's doing shows to celebrate! http://www.mjhibbett.co.uk/heyhey16k/index.php http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * THE TECH THAT LIVES ON after you've popped your clogs: https://medium.com/message/deathhacks-b767903b7c15 * MASTERS OF MOVIE MATTE PAINTING (pre-computer era) - Star Wars etc etc, but some of these are AMAZING and took months of real old-school skill. http://sploid.gizmodo.com/the-amazing-matte-painti... * SCROLL SLOW HAVE FUN - Leaves you wanting more, but that's mostly cause it's good. http://www.scrollslowhavefun.com/ * NO MORE PORTRAIT FORMAT VIDEO LOLS - Alas, an Android developer has spoiled the fun with an app that always record horizontal video, no matter how you hold your phone. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details * BUSINESS TOWN - whimsically-illustrated cautionary tales of business-related twattery - Richard Scarry brought up to date. http://welcometobusinesstown.tumblr.com/ * EVER WONDERED WHAT WHALE SHIT LOOKS LIKE - reminds us of an incident in the 3rd year at school with James Burgess (Hi James) http://petapixel.com/2015/01/23/underwater-photogr... * WORRYING DEVELOPMENT - you should be scared, technological singularity isn't a dating site. http://www.skynet.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Like a CASIO TV watch but it doesn't tell time * WEATHER REPORTER DEALS WITH TECH GLITCH - with a stylish ad-lib. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Local_weather_reporter_d... * SINCLAIR SPECTRUM TEARDOWN - we're literally spent much of the week watching the bloke at EEVBLOG take apart computers. Unapologetically geeky and we only understand about 25% of it, but we can't stop watching. He also does a Sinclair C5 and we can't wait to get home to finish watching him full apart a kindle. https://www.youtube.com/watch * JS BACH MOBIUS STRIP - what happens if you stick a musical score on a looping mobius strip? http://www.b3ta.com/links/J_S_Bach_Crab_Canon * TANK VS TENNIS PLAYER - nice bit of video editing. We assume it's editing or tennis has suddenly got a lot more interesting. http://www.b3ta.com/links/AUS_OPEN_2015_Djokovic_v... ------------------------------------------------- A BASIC programmer didn't close their FOR loop. You won't believe what happened NEXT. ------------------------------------------------- : FUNNY NAME CORNER Threeway action * FANNY KEY - nameleft writes, "Would it be awkward giving your address to a new girlfriend? Or does 'have private island' win?" http://www.vladi-private-islands.de/en/island+buy+...#!prettyPhoto * AMUSING BBC NAME - barst writes, "This is not the aerial photgrapher you are looking for" http://i.imgur.com/mprtnLS.jpg * RUDE-LOOKING ORNAMENT - Apparently a 'mother and child art sculpture' - yeah right. (thanks jim.s) http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BEAUTIFUL-MARBLE-MOTHER-... ------------------------------------------------ : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Comedy Crossover' challenge Last week we gave classic comedy characters a busmans holiday, shopping them in to other tv shows and films. Our favourites included: * Fawlty Fools: Don’t mention the bar. (Fresh Water Mole) http://b3ta.com/board/11130229 * All hours: Are you L-l-l-l-l-l-local? (Capt Hood-Butter) http://b3ta.com/board/11130281 * Fawlty Fools2: Taking it to the streets. (VicBrown) http://b3ta.com/board/11130184 All these images, and a load more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/comedycrossover/popular/ >> New challenge: In Drawers << It’s a crafty creative challenge this week. Open a drawer, pull out the contents and turn it in to something for our delight. Channel your inner Tony Hart, Neil Buchanan or Rol.. no stick to the first two. http://b3ta.com/challenge/indrawers/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * SCARY KNIVES - UltimateMonkey writes, "Was reading the newsletter last night and it had a link for some Swiss made knife with '87 Tools & 141 Functions', which is laughably shit compared to what we're packing up here" http://www.hawleytoolcollection.com/index.php * GET MONTY A HOFMEISTER BEAR COSTUME - Do you love Monty or hate him? Either way, this seems like poetic justice (via PhillieJoe) http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/get-monty-a-george-th... ------------------------------------------------- : Ottawan's D.I.S.C.O. (12" Remix) She is D delirious She is I incredible She is S superficial She is C complicated She is O oh, oh, oh She is T terracotta She is H hydroponic She is E extremely eggy She is Q quixotic She is U under active She is E eee, eee, eee by gum ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * Let's put the fun back into funerals - coffins should be shaped by the position you die in. * Hold a leather wallet to your cheek. Now hold a smartphone. The cheekfeel of leather is so much nicer. We demand 'cheekfeel' becomes a thing in 2015. * A bullet with our name on it. Actually we asked for this before and they actually turned up. It was a bit odd. Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Sub: [email protected] Snub: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- : FOLLOW B3TA ON TWITTER There's a really neat hack built into Twitter that improves it massively. Press CTRL W: https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Frogbeat, tubaman, barst, robneymcplum, Mudface, smaggers & p.hill. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top tips via teedyay. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Cut one fingernail every day. They'll all remain respectably short but you'll always have one long enough for scratching, nose-picking or separating lego bricks. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive