we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: TAX RETURN! NOW WE'VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION HERE'S SOME COOL INTERNET STUFF next issue » « previous issue This Week: * DAILY MAIL - Most-hated comments, live! * SPIROGRAPH - But all online and stuff * FACEBOOK - Except if it was 1995 ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're lowering your ___/ _ |/_ > Sponsor B3ta << Want this space? Then talk to us. http://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK >> What REALLY killed Google Glass... << "The sinister truth behind google's failed wearable tech device," claims mertonmuffley. It could all too easily be true... http://www.b3ta.com/links/What_REALLY_killed_Googl... >> Father Jack Vs UK politics << "I thought you might like this," offers David J Heath. And, indeed, the drunken Irish priest of legend might as well be reading out our thoughts as we watch the news. http://youtu.be/g4e3qdcoRhU >> Daily Mail most-hated comments << A live feed of the online paper's MOST downvoted comments. "I made this so the world can keep tabs on the endless bile, insanity and rage spewed out in the Mail Online comments section every day," explains Jon. Thanks Jon! http://dailymailcomments.com ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M CORNER You know, the day job First two written by your Ginger Fuhrer, and the third by B3tan old hand Matt Round. * 16 creepy Craigslist ads offering free rooms in exchange for... well, basically for sex. http://usvsth3m.com/post/16-creepy-ads-from-people... * Everything from Alan Moore's mind eventually lands in the real world: Nick Griffin ripping off 'V for Vendetta' logo - also Griffin accuses Rob Manuel of being part of the 'Zonist media' whatever that is. http://goo.gl/KPWJF2 * NEW GAME: How fast can you read War and Peace? Worth it for the page-bottom comments. http://games.usvsth3m.com/war-and-peace/ ------------------------------------------------ : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Surveillance' challenge Last week we asked for your images of state funded, paranoia-inducing, rifling through our bins and reading the post-it notes on our fridge ways to “keep us safe”. Your favourites included: * Pigeon: The eye in the sky. (sheep) http://b3ta.com/board/11129419 * Bond: Could you come with us please sir (Flash_Bastard) http://b3ta.com/board/11129137 * I-Spy: fun for all the nosy family of state informers. (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11129714 All these images, and a load more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/surveillance/popular >> New challenge: Comedy Crossover << This week we're swapping characters, places and things between comedy films and tv shows. Delboy falling through the Cheers bar, Herr Flick asking for Pike's name, that sort of thing. http://b3ta.com/challenge/comedycrossover ------------------------------------------------ : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * SURPRISING CURE FOR HICCUPS - an actual medical paper suggests sticking a finger up your arse. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2299306 * INTERACTIVE SPIROGRAPH - all the fun of Christmas in the 1970s without getting a load of ink on your dungarees. http://nathanfriend.io/inspirograph/ * SHIT CHILDREN'S TOY KNOCK-OFFS - because getting things a bit wrong is a comedy trope. http://imgur.com/gallery/CXcZG * DRAWINGS ON STARBUCKS LOGOS - probably because it takes so bloody long to get served that people need to do SOMETHING with their time. http://sleevebucks.tumblr.com/ * UPSIDE-DOWN ICEBERG - did you know they sometimes capsize? Pretty, but you won't be laughing when it turns out it's a sign of environmental Armageddon. http://goo.gl/WpF91I * HITLER LEGO - Telegraph trolling for traffic by running a "story of Hitler made in Lego school project". Photo 14 is Hitler suicide / Blondi German Shepherd death scene. http://t.co/e8vUEYeCsL * ART CRIME - Police have arrested a bot for buying drugs from the darknet in the name of art. http://t.co/u0v5xHhpcb ------------------------------------------------- : REMEMBER TO REGISTER TO VOTE A public service broadcast Sure, Russell Brand & Morrissey reckon voting is supporting the system - but in a choice between the lesser of two evils we'd choose less evil because you'd get LESS EVIL. https://t.co/YHwG5k6E1D ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO You know, GIFS, with sound * MORE SCIENCE FROM MEHDI - because, as we said previously, getting things wrong is comedy gold. http://www.b3ta.com/links/More_Science_from_Mehdi * DILDO FACTORY - amusing song / video combo. Song apparently from Scarface but we've never seen that. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1267028/ * IF FACEBOOK EXISTED IN 1995 - funny. Actually social networks sort of DID exist back then, 'poke' was 'finger' etc, but your mum wasn't on it, unless she was doing a degree in Computer Science - and, if she was, good luck to her! http://www.b3ta.com/links/If_Facebook_existed_in_1... ------------------------------------------------- : FUNNY NAME CORNER Wank mountain thefernies writes, "I think you should place this in the travel plus wanking section." http://goo.gl/eZ66XP ------------------------------------------------- : BEST MOVIE STRAPLLINE We asked for suggestions and... Bravenewmalden writes, "It's got to be 'Take the stairs, take the stairs, for God's sake take the stairs!!!'" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087622/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * COMPREHENSION DICTIONARY - like an ordinary online dictionary but every word is fed through a quiz engine to rank the percentage of people who understand the meaning. E.g. Sausages 98% comprehension. * HMRC BOT - that makes people leave Twitter by reminding them they haven't sorted their tax out. * A CURE FOR A SPLIT LIP - your writer here is in considerable pain! Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- JOIN US: [email protected] LEAVE US: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- : FOLLOW @B3TA ON TWITTER Because it's nearly the new millennium! https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by moogthedog zacherynuk Fadgebadger RompaStompa The Tramp Surveyor username failed moderation & zacherynuk. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top tip via Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Avoid confusion over whether to use "a" or "an" before words like "historic" or acronyms like HTML, by always adding the word "fucking" after the indefinite article. "This is a fucking historic occasion". "I need a fucking HTML expert". next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive