we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "NO FPS FOR OVERSEAS B3TANS UNLESS THEY'VE PROVIDED 4 YEARS OF QUALITY PICS" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * ACID - George Osborne's 90s trip * METH - Mesmeric face loops * JAZZ - Musical hedgehog ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We've picking our ___/ _ |/_ > George at work - 1990 mix << We all saw George Osborne hungover in parliament the other day. HappyToast has remixed it to deliver the visuals it really needed. No vapour trails mind you. http://www.b3ta.com/links/George_at_work_1990_mix >> Alan Sugar Drum Machine << Approximately the same quality as his Amstrad devices. Thanks 'bill g christmas' http://www.feckbags.com/sugardrum ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M STUFF Three bestest thing we think you should see * PERSONALITY QUIZ GENERATOR - Sick of personality quizzes? This generator will make you EVEN SICKER. http://goo.gl/QG4Ko0 * SUPER TORY BOY - Choose between David Cameron & George Osborne then SMASH THE POOR! http://games.usvsth3m.com/super-tory-boy/ * HOW OLD IS YOUR HEARING? - find out the true age of your poor lugholes. Or how filthy they are, of course. http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-old-is-your-hearing/ ------------------------------------------------- : BEST STORY YOU'LL EVER READ ABOUT JIM DAVIDSON On set one day, the script called for Jim Davidson’s character to get punched by a minor character. The crew hated Davidson, so had a whip round and paid the visiting actor to actually punch Jim when the time came, instead of doing a pretend telly punch. This the young actor did. Davidson was so outraged he told the young actor he would use his clout to make sure the young man never acted again. The young actor in question was international movie star David Thewlis. Take from the 'London Sitcom Map' http://goo.gl/1PdESq ------------------------------------------------- FACT: OVER 130,000 have clicked Like on the LSD Facebook page. Why? ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates 1. Use 'UKIPsum' to generate dummy copy for your website 2. Very vaguely say 'lol' 3. Accidentally publish 4. Get fired http://www.ukipsum.co.uk/ * So someone has worked out how to sell one rubbish pair of socks for £7.99. The secret? Call them 'wanksocks'. http://www.wanksock.com/ * A very funny and well done gif by Orbojunglist http://giphy.com/gifs/ByUDWjce12r3q * BBC News 'insulation cock' - barryheadwound writes, "I need to lay off b3ta for a while if I giggle at this photo." http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30242073 * Mesmeric meth face videoloops http://www.rehabs.com/explore/faces-of-addiction/ * The Debunking Handbook, a guide to debunking misinformation, is now freely available to download. http://goo.gl/oOe1SQ ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO TV! But with more compression artefacts * JAZZ HEDGEHOG - the cutest thing you'll see today and reminds us of the great piano work on Bowie's Aladdin Sane. https://vine.co/v/Oe3n51x6UVB * Conservative man defends Christmas from hordes of nonexistent threats https://vine.co/v/O1Zg30M10uI * Surf-Rock version of 'My Lady Hunsdon's Puffe' by John Dowland. Housed writes, "I met John (the guitarist in the video) when my landlord sent him round to do some plumbing work for my flat, during which he mentioned to me that he makes videos. This is one of his finest." http://goo.gl/pDdbJW * Amazingly classist news report. Old but gold. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Brilliantly_classist_new... * Cat vs Xmas tree - who will win? http://goo.gl/3pq96J * Cats puking to techno. No cats were forced to puke during the making of this video. http://www.b3ta.com/links/CaC_puking_to_techno ------------------------------------------------- FUN FACT: There's an A. Crowley who writes for the Daily Telegraph. Hail Satan! ------------------------------------------------ : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Smoking' challenge Last week we asked you to try and make smoking popular again. Your favourites included: * KARDASHIAN: turns out she does have a talent (Penultimate Straw) http://b3ta.com/board/11112713 * PICARD: Stressful business running a spaceship (Frogbeat) http://b3ta.com/board/11112844 * PICASSO: The weeping woman calms her nerves (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11110420 All these images, and a couple more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/smokesandstuff/popular/ >> New challenge: Art Damage < This week we're dealing with damaged art, from Cecilia Giménez's botched restoration of Ecce Homo to the Venus de Milo. Either damage the art yourself or fix a broken bit. http://b3ta.com/challenge/artdamage/ ------------------------------------------------- FACT: If we ran Twitter backwards it would start with a vicious culture war, everyone screaming and not listening & end with happy geeks saying hi to each other. ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * Unshareable quizzes - how unconsciously racist are you? * More unshareable quizzes - what does your porn taste say about you? * Make a concept album imagining what a Thom Yorke solo album sounds like without ever listening to one. Call it "I Am A Fridge". Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Join: [email protected] Leave: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard: https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Frogbeat, Fluffster, wakeupandsmellthebacon, jonofthesouth, The Tramp Surveyor, Jimbotfu pissflaps. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Tip via just a vagabond. Subjlol via Tribs. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Attain carbon-neutral status by connecting your wanking arm to a dynamo that powers your smartphone when watching porn on it. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive