we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ANOTHER ONE! next issue » « previous issue This Week: * FREEMAN OF THE LAND - Vs cops * PENGUINS - being heckled * DUBSTEP - Control all the wubs with your face ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving ___/ _ |/_ > Sponsor B3ta << Want this space? Then talk to us. http://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK * THE HOLE - "Here's a sketch I co-wrote" glees Eddache. "It's about a hole!" http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Hole * 10 HOURS OF WALKING IN ANTARCTICA AS A PENGUIN Agilely leaping onto two recent viral video bandwagons, "I'm so terrible," confesses jonofthsouth. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1247604 * ACHILLES EEL - Joel Veitch claims, "Achilles and his eel are the best of friends!" But that's NOT what this shocking video seems to suggest. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Achilles_Eel ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M That other B3taish project * 24 struggles that only people who work from home will understand. This is all 100% true and 100% about us: http://usvsth3m.com/post/24-struggles-that-only-pe... * Clickbait Headline generator - then see it as a website. This Video Will Show You've Been Shopping For Beef Wrong Your Entire Life: http://community.usvsth3m.com/generator/clickbait-... * Unrealistic Comet Lander - could YOU do a better job than the European Space Agency at landing on Comet 67P? http://games.usvsth3m.com/unrealistic-comet-landin... * WUBCAM - 1) Turn on your webcam, 2) Control the dubstep wubs by wobbling your face. http://games.usvsth3m.com/wubcam/ ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Control Freaks Last week we wanted you to tell us about the people you've met who were screwed on just a little bit too tightly: http://b3ta.com/questions/sillyachievements * HALF A SHOW - "I can't watch telly at my mother's house. "She has an iron grip on the remote control and feels the need to switch to another channel while the ads are on, thus making you miss part of the show you were originally watching and getting you interested in the second show, just to turn it over again. "Even my dad isn't allowed to complain or touch the remote without getting called a baldy cunt." (Smash Monkey) * CUTLERY DRAWER - "My girlfriend has the cutlery in the following order: "Spoons (teaspoons and dessert spoons mixed), knives, garlic crusher/pizza slicer. Then in the horizontal slot - forks. "It's hard to sleep at night." (scoshi) * I HAVE AN EXCELLENT STORY - "But I'm only going to tell it to you once you're all sitting still... and I'd BETTER NOT HAVE ANY INTERRUPTIONS." (eViLegion) >> Continuing This Week - Weddings II << Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Tell us more: http://b3ta.com/questions/controlfreaks/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * YOUGOV PROFILER - On the off-chance you haven't already seen it, this week the poll site made an online tool that lets you see the OTHER opinions of people who like sausages or Nick Clegg or Top Gear or really ANYTHING. https://yougov.co.uk/profiler#/ * PICS OF SHOREDITCH RESIDENTS - as Shoreditch dweller MaxineBasset says, "There's no one like this living near me. (Apart from me.) When does being wildly individual become a bit samey?" http://dougiewallace.com/9365/shoreditch-wild-life... * LONG GIF GOOD PAYOFF - "...and I thought it was for something worthless, like an iPhone," confesses illiterate. http://i.imgur.com/rss2sBB.gifv ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO * FREEMAN OF THE LAND VS POLICE - Watch US police try to keep a straight face as some bloke tries to pull all that "I am not a person and you can't arrest me because this is maritime law" shizz on them. And then... http://www.b3ta.com/links/1247014 * HERMIT CRAB HOUSING CHAIN - The sublime David Attenborough talks us through the peculiar queuing practices of different-sized hermit crabs. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Hermit_crab_housing_chai... * KNOCK KNOCK SHEEP - Who knows how long the dad kept his daughter standing in a field until they got the perfect take? https://www.youtube.com/watch ------------------------------------------------ : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Big Mistake' challenge Last week we asked you to depict stupid ideas and foolish endeavours. Your favourites included: * SHOW AND TELL: MP Presentation day (Fresh Water Mole) http://b3ta.com/board/11110399 * HULK: Never mock the Hogan (DolphinWhipperer) http://b3ta.com/board/11110502 * GLITTER: The old PCWorld error (robneymcplum) http://b3ta.com/board/11110420 All these images, and a couple more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/bigmistake/ >> New challenge: Climate Change < This week's challenge is all about messing with the weather. Give us Gene Kelly Singing in the snow and brighten up Rutger Hauer's 'tears in the rain' speech. Challenge suggested by monkeon. http://b3ta.com/challenge/climatechange/ ------------------------------------------------- : FUNNY NAME CORNER "Well, we've all tried it," suggests WeirdWeb. At least she ends on an upbeat note. http://www.nie.edu.sg/profile/chew-shit-fun ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * A WAY TO CURE HICCUPS - One of us had a baby the other week. The hiccups will not stop. * AN INFINITE MONEY TREE - that WON'T cause hyperinflation. * THE RETURN OF HUFTY - Surely she's paid her debt to society? Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Yay: [email protected] Nay: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard: https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Matt Round, Pig Bodine, tokyosexwhale, a humble reindeer herder. Top Tippery by social hand grenade. Image challenge by HappyToast. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Pacify sanctimonious types by living in a stone house and throwing glasses. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive