we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "YAY! THE MAGIC DONKEY LIVES!" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * CAMERON RAPS - cassetteboy's masterpiece? * LADYBIRD BOOKS - fictional vintage LOLs * YOUR STORIES - So many stories ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're still alive ___/ _ |/_ > Cassetteboy - Cameron's Conference Rap << "Just a little thank you to David Cameron for legalising the use of copyrighted materials in parody videos," writes Cassetteboy. Contains swearing. BTW: This change in the law? Your B3ta editor went into Parliament and gave evidence on this. Almost like a proper grown up. http://b3ta.com/links/Cassetteboy_Camerons_Confere... >> Slaves of the Rave << Chipping Sodbury writes, "Here's a thing I made..." http://b3ta.com/links/Slaves_of_the_Rave:2 >> MS Paint Picture Reenactments << "I ran a photo competition to see if people could/would recreate my MS Paint pictures," writes Mr Eraserhead AKA Jim'll Paint It, "I was quite surprised to find out that they could/did." http://jimllpaintit.bigcartel.com/photo-challenge ------------------------------------------------- : BEST OF RECENT USVSTH3M STUFF Loads of GOOD THINGS * HOW PORNY IS YOUR NAME? - we compare the SFW vs NSFW search returns for your name and give it a score. Science. http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-porny-is-your-name/ * HOW OLD IS YOUR HEARING? - Find out the true age of your lugholes! http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-porny-is-your-name/ * HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU CLICK IN 3 SECONDS? Have you got the fastest fingers on the internet? Find out now! http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-many-times-can-you-c... * Or if you want a fuck-load of quizzes - go here - you can even create your own. http://community.usvsth3m.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : 5 FAMOUS PEOPLE OLDER THAN NIGEL FARAGE Despite looking like a twattish retired colonel, the home counties Hitler was just 50 last April. That makes him younger than many of your favourite 'Madchester' pop stars. For example: * Shaun Ryder - 52 * Ian Brown - 51 * Graham Massey - 54 * Tim Booth - 54 * Clint Boon - 55 Sobering to think that Farage could have been pilled up and shouting, "are you on one UKIP?" at the height of Acid House. ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * Classic Ladybird Books of Yesteryear - Photoshop mini-lols galore, a classic formula: nostalgia made rude. http://bagofdelights.tumblr.com/post/89652612113/ * High Sreett shops in sci-fi films - Quite why WE never ran this as a competition can only mean we're idiots. http://highstreetshopsinscififilms.tumblr.com/ * Flowers that look like something else - Yes shit that looks like other shit is a tired meme, but nature got there first and did it better. http://emorfes.com/2014/09/27/flowers-that-look-li... * Argos catalogues from days of old - Let's say your job is making nostalgic lists for nineties kids. Start by leafing through this shit. http://retromash.com/argos/ * Vomit-inducing Facebook quotations - Because literally everyone is awful. EVERYONE. http://vomitinducing.tumblr.com/ * Celebs with a Nigel Farage Smile - Pictures of celebrities, but with the smile of a UKIP leader. http://celebritieswithnigelfaragesmiles.tumblr.com... ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Imagine! TV! On the INTERNET! * VOLCANO ERUPTION IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA - dramatic and we're glad we're not in this boat. http://b3ta.com/links/Volcano_eruption_in_Papua_Ne... * LIKE WOODWORK? LIKE BOOKCASES? LIKE GHOSTS? You're in luck because ghosts make bookcases in a haunted workshop. Or maybe it's stop-motion. http://b3ta.com/links/Like_woodwork_Like_bookcases... * STAR WARS SANS MUSIC - it's er.. not very dramatic. http://b3ta.com/links/AAAAAAOOOOAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH * DREADFUL DRUMMER - improves Christian song. http://b3ta.com/links/Drummer_nails_it_in_church * WEIRD HORSE VIDEO - don't ask us. http://player.vimeo.com/video/107435702 * WHERE ARE THEY NOW? The cartoon stars of yesteryear aren't looking too hot. http://b3ta.com/links/Where_are_they_now ------------------------------------------------ : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Dead Celebs' challenge Last week we asked you to show us what the celebrity deceased were doing in the afterlife Your favourites included: * Grayson: All those banging doors finally explained (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11101979 * Rick: Still bothering Eddie (Frogbeat) http://b3ta.com/board/11101824 * Tories: Cameron and Thatcher (deceased) (Q4nobody) http://b3ta.com/board/11101863 All these images, and a couple more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/deadcelebs/ >> New challenge: Victorians << This week we’re going back to when men wore big hats, ladies wore massive skirts and people took photos of their dead children. http://b3ta.com/challenge/Victorians/ ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK The missing years We're still asking questions, the latest was about birthdays, but here are some of the best answers from the last few weeks you've not heard from us. http://b3ta.com/questions/celebrations/ * OFFICELOLS - "Many years ago, I was working as a temp in some office somewhere doing a non-job. I was only there for a couple of months and so when a birthday card came round for someone in the office I'd never met, I politely declined to sign it. "The woman organising this gesture looked at me like I'd just suggested liquidising a newborn baby, and so I caved in and signed it with an empty platitude. She then left me with the card and instructions to pass it round the office. "Of course, I then wandered round the corner and gave it to the birthday boy to sign, ranting about how the whole thing is fucking stupid and how I don't even know the guy." (Baggenfock) * TRAIN - "Guy I worked with used to keep falling asleep on the train home after too many shandies and waking up in Hastings, needing to get a taxi home. "Next time he had a night out, he came up with a cunning plan to set the alarm on his phone for about five minutes before the train was supposed to arrive at his stop. Woke up in Hastings again, and someone had nicked his phone..." (SnowyTheWereRabbit) * DATE - "It was all going so well... It was a cousin's wedding in a Chateau in Strasbourg. After the banquet I somehow peeled off with a lovely lady guest, and we walked and chatted gaily throughout the castle grounds - I even managed to ride one of the wild ponies that were wandering about, which well impressed her in a Hugh Grant way. "When we kissed in the moonlight, it felt magical. Later, as we approached our hotel, we were walking hand-in-hand through the medieval cobbled streets of the old town, heady with romance and anticipation, and I trod in the biggest, runniest, dog shit imaginable. "I subtly tried to scrape it off by doing humourous Frankenstein/ Hunchback of Notre Dame impressions, but this only created the impression that I was a twat, who smelled of dogshit." (fred zeppelin) ------------------------------------------------- gamer : [email protected] gamergate : [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Follow @b3ta on Twitter. Oh go on. https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Jahled, fred zeppelin, evilengine, RompaStompa, Fray Brentos, Turquoise Hexagon Sun, Ghoti Fingers, Turquoise Hexagon Sun, wakeupandsmellthebacon, Varmint & BaronMunchausen. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Disposable contact lenses make an ideal Center Parcs for amoebas. (drimble) next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive