we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: THE MICHAEL GOVE MEMORIAL ISSUE next issue » « previous issue "The Michael Gove Memorial issue" This Week: * HORSE - Don't ride Weebl's Shetland pony * WWI - Rap battle * BASS - How low can you go? ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "Jizzing in your inbox ___/ _ |/_ > WWI rap battle << "Here's my first major filmed project," writes Leemondus, "for the BBC's WWI Centenary coverage. Basically it's a rap to explain the origins of WW1 and get some younger people interested. "I ended up co-writing the thing and composing & performimg all the music. Oh and I did George V's voice as well. "The Daily Mail were offended enough to write an article about it (it was in the actual paper too.)" http://www.b3ta.com/links/WW1_rap_battle:2 >> Let One Go << "A puerile Frozen parody," self-deprecates kfk. "Surprised I was able to post this to YouTube, perhaps it's the new copyright laws and whatnot. No apologies for fart 'gags'." http://www.b3ta.com/links/Let_One_Go >> Teen Thangz! << It's a Teenth Episode Summer Special for dogfood, spokesman for all the nation's teens. No doubt we'll be seeing much more of this talented young man. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Teen_Thangz:7 >> Official Spider-Man World Record Attempt << "I just attempted to set the World Record for the fastest and most accurate Spiderman, drawn with a 3D Printing Pen..." blurts superpowerless. "NAILED IT!" http://www.b3ta.com/links/Official_World_Record_At... >> Shetland Pony << "Who likes tiny horses?" inquires weebl. Don't you ever ride on HIS Shetland pony! http://www.b3ta.com/links/Shetland_Pony >> I made a McDonalds Katsu Curry << We really like the concept of a McDonalds-based cooking blog. Here's zef, who made a Japanese-style katsu curry entirely out of McDonalds food while sat in a McDonalds restaurant. http://zeftilldeath.tumblr.com/post/91981191275/mc... ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M CORNER 100% quizzes this week. Lots of fucking quizzes * WIKITY-BLANK - we'll show you a Wikipedia article, with the title replaced by BLANK. http://games.usvsth3m.com/wikity-blank/ * PLAY YOUR SALARIES RIGHT - We'll show you a mixture of professional UK workers' average salaries. All you have to do is work out: is their pay higher or lower?" http://games.usvsth3m.com/play-your-salaries-right... * CAN YOU HANG THE ABSTRACT ART? - Tell us which way up these pictures are meant to go. http://games.usvsth3m.com/hang-the-abstract-art/ ------------------------------------------------- : THE USVSTH3M QUIZ MAKER The democratisation of quiz production We've made a quiz engine that allows you to make your own quizzes. The clever bit is that it records your answers, then compares them to everyone else who played. * Epic 80s Goth Quiz! http://games.usvsth3m.com/quiz/epic-80s-goth-quiz * How Obsessed With Doctor Who Are You? http://games.usvsth3m.com/quiz/how-obsessed-with-d... * Test Yourself Against The Welsh UltraQuiz! http://games.usvsth3m.com/quiz/test-yourself-again... * Are you better at maths than the internet? http://games.usvsth3m.com/quiz/are-you-better-at-m... * Can you spell better than the internet? http://games.usvsth3m.com/quiz/can-you-spell-bette... ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the 'Made up problems' challenge Last week we asked you to invent a made up problem like the ad men use to sell products... Our favourites included: * HOGAN: B3ta’s favourite Hulk’s city planning service (Ghettoblaster Yeti) http://b3ta.com/board/11091764 * CURRANTS: Eurgh, currants, thank heaven for the Garibaldilizer. (brown-wings) http://b3ta.com/board/11090275 * GyPS: Never lose your lucky heather (robneymcplum) http://b3ta.com/board/11091886 All these images, and many more can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/madeup/popular/ >> New challenge: How food is made 2 << This week's challenge is to once again show us what happens behind the scenes in food production. Challenge suggested by dolphinwhisperer. http://b3ta.com/challenge/howfoodmade2/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates >> The best bits of Paul Daniels' autobiography << You'll like this. ...What? http://christinalouisemartin.blogspot.co.uk/2014/0... >> How to mummify your Barbie << Ideal if you need to accessorise with Barbie's Malibu Death House. http://kidsactivitiesblog.com/9140/mummification-l... >> Your selfie idea is not original << Hard truths. Thanks, internet. http://yourselfieideaisnotoriginal.tumblr.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO >> The Oscar for most talented forehead goes to << "I enjoyed 'Her'," writes littlefeet. "But the experience would have been enhanced if I'd have seen this." http://www.b3ta.com/links/Her:2 >> Possibly the best version of Blue Suede Shoes << The Musicless Music Video people recreate a classic from Elvis's Dadaist cabaret period. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Possibly_the_best_versio... >> 100 Amazing Bass Lines << It doesn't matter what anyone else says - bassists are definitely the most talented members of the band. This guy manages to squeeze 100 classic basslines into 13 minutes. http://www.b3ta.com/links/100_Amazing_Bass_Lines >> Bloke cleans his vinyl with wood glue << Sounds like that's going to be some sort of crappy LOLfail type video, but is more in the way of being a top tip. Very satisfying. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Bloke_cleans_his_vinyl_w... >> Can you spot who's miming during this performance? << There's no prize for guessing correctly. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Can_you_spot_whos_miming... ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Public Nudity Last week we asked if you'd ever let your bits out in public: http://b3ta.com/questions/publicnudity/ * MODEST - "I had a vasectomy a couple of months ago. They gave me something called a 'modesty blanket' as there were a couple of nurses in the room. The modesty blanket covered me from my feet up to my neck. Except for the hole through which protuded my penis and testicles." (browser) * AUDIENCE - "When you move into an unfurnished flat, curtains are not always the first thing you sort out. Particularly when it's a first floor flat, with no buildings opposite. Thus it was that our hero wanders into the lounge on his first morning, safe in the knowledge that, curtains or no curtains, there is no need to get dressed. "Of course, a man with sharper observation skills should have noticed the bus-stop immediately outside the building - a location which became immediately apparent when a double-decker bus full of startled commuters pulled up directly outside the window..." (moon monkey) * PUB - "A friend of mine is a doctor. Another friend of mine is a weirdo and an exhibitionist. Seeing Friend 2 drop his pants and bend over to ask Friend 1 what he thought of his haemorrhoids in the beer garden of a crowded pub will live long in my memory. Especially because it looked like he had an extra finger growing out of his arsehole. We were barred. I didn't argue." (SnowyTheWereRabbit) >> This Week: BAD IDEAS << "Let's get all the fireworks and pile dog shit on top of them." I can't believe I actually said that, and I still can't believe I was the one who lit them and couldn't run away in time. Tell us about your spectacularly misjudged ideas. http://b3ta.com/questions/badideas/ ------------------------------------------------- Besos: [email protected] Grosses: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard: https://twitter.com/b3ta ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Ambegris, nocturne72, jams, Fray Brentos, and always buffet_the_appetite_slayer. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols via Afinkawan. Top Tip by Locus213. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Worried that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive