we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "WE'RE ON TWITTER. FOLLOW US AT @B3TA NOW!" next issue » « previous issue "We're on Twitter. Follow us at @b3ta NOW!" This Week: * TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta * TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta * TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the ___/ _ |/_ > An hour of birds, all at once.. << Poochen writes, "These are all the birds that flew past my window in an hour, all together at once." http://www.b3ta.com/links/An_hour_of_birds_all_at_... >> Sir Ian's tribute to Alan B'stard << Natt, "Ian & I say goodbye." http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ians_tribute_to_Alan... >> Ghostbusters: Vol. 3 [official trailer HD] << Leehardcastle writes, "It's the real ghostbusters in tune to the Tarantino universe, guest VO from a hero of mine... Adam Buxton, don't ask how or why, just accept Adam Buxton is a very nice chap." http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ghostbusters_Vol_3_offic... >> Cooking with Tampax << Colmcq2 writes, "...because NO ONE has tried this so I figured I would." http://myfoodeeblog.com/2014/06/15/tampax/ >> A tool to create fake Facebook quiz results << Gabboid writes, "Confuse your FB friends with weird answers to fake quizzzes." http://dontmakemeangry.com/which/ ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M - RECENT GOOD SHIT The other B3taish project we run * Gender Switch Your Name - What would your parents have called you if you were born the opposite gender? http://games.usvsth3m.com/gender-switch-your-name/ * Who Should Your Second Team Be? - We’re all rooting for England, but maybe it’s time to pick a back-up http://games.usvsth3m.com/your-second-team/ * Who's Your Inner Football God? - Showman, hard man or gentleman? Get matced with a soccer legend. http://games.usvsth3m.com/who-is-your-inner-footba... ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Fantasists We had a really cool story for this one, but it's been optioned by a Hollywood studio and they said we couldn't tell anyone or the CIA would kidnap us and take us to their underground base: http://b3ta.com/questions/fantasists/ * CYBORG - "I had a friend at school obsessed with Terminator 2. I remember him forcing me to watch as some tiny injury he'd suffered healed at a rate "FASTER THAN A NORMAL HUMAN" Unfortunately he decided he was a cyborg. Under this particular misapprehension, he got into a fight with another kid. What should have been a brief albeit exciting playground tussle was instead the excruciating sight of this utter nobhead walking with robotic determination towards his opponent while maintaining a blank expression, hands by his side, Arnie on his mind, relying purely on the irresistible force of his metal endoskeleton to ensure victory. Naturally the lad he was fighting just punched him in the face repeatedly, leaving the rest of us to console a sobbing T800. The best bit? Through his tears, which he insisted were merely a symptom of a cold, he managed to choke a semi-impassive "I'll be back." (Wet-chinned bag shanker) * WEREWOLF - "Kelly was the girl in school everyone felt uncomfortable around, probably due to the smell. She came out with such utter shit in order to make herself more interesting, such as thefairies in her garden she'd caught, or the £20,000 she won in a beauty contest in America. If you called her on her lies, she'd report you to the headmaster and say you'd hit her. One day, she came in to school with 3 scratches down her left arm. When asked, she told us she'd been for a walk at midnight and been attacked by a werewolf. Unfortunately for her, her brother overheard her. "Pack it in, you little weirdo," he said, "you did that yourself with the garden fork!" (Smash Monkey) * SPANG - "Once, I found a lump under my armpit. Fearing the worst, I went to the doctor to get it checked out. He pushed it and prodded it and said he didn't think it was anything too serious but that he would take biopsy. With a scalpel he made a little nick and it suddenly burst, sending orange fluid squirting out so fast the doctor couldn't move out of the way quick enough and some of it squirted right in his mouth. He tasted it, and then sighed with relief, stood up and said, "It's ok, there's nothing to worry about, it's just a Fanta cyst." (Fork. Who should be killed.) >> This Week: HECKLES II << Adding a comments box to real life. Share your best and worst experiences with hecklers: http://b3ta.com/questions/hecklesagain/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * A Florida woman was arrested in May for shooting a missile into a vehicle, and her name is so perfect! (as is her mug shot.) http://snurl.com/2916ee0 * An Insight Into The Music Biz And How It Works. Ex-member of 'The Orb' Kris Weston remembers his time with 'The Orb' with all the going's on with the other bods involved, also included are the various record companies and hangers on. https://krisweston.com/index.php/rant/ * Now we know where spiderman shoots his web from. http://snurl.com/2916ef4 * Chinese Translations gone a bit wrong. We like "Tiny grass is dreaming" http://snurl.com/2916efz * CIA facial recognition software identifies pic of 'unknown woman' as Francis Bacon in drag. http://snurl.com/2916eh5 ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Non repeating animated gifs with sound * Dizzy Squirrel - Flabberghasted writes, "A bloke at a mates workplace put a rotational motor on the bird feeders..." Well if animal cruelty is your thing - why would you do this? https://www.youtube.com/watch * Drummer attacked by flying disc doesn't miss a beat. http://instagram.com/p/o8xRkkJzRi/ * David Bowie & Mick Jagger without the music. Amazing. http://b3ta.com/links/nae_noise * Ainsley Harriott. Christ, watch this. You wil explode. http://b3ta.com/links/He_he_boi * Old women find escalator difficult. http://b3ta.com/links/To_infinity_and_beyond:2 ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from 'delete things from history' Last week we asked you to erase things from the past, photoshopping things out of old pictures and pondering on the consequences. Our favourites included: * THORNE: 27bslash6 reimagined with soviet lols (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11083535 * ARMSTRONG: Classic helmet removal (augsav) http://b3ta.com/board/11082892 * LLOYD: Amazing bit of edit dodging animation (Rubber Dubya) http://b3ta.com/board/11082702 All these images, and your favourites can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/deletehistory/ *** Week before's challenge *** Results from the Infographic Challenge Two weeks ago asked you to create some fancy infographics, but without the limitations of boring facts and stuff we probably should know. Our favourites included: * BBC: Amazing stats on classic comedy (Captain Howdy) http://b3ta.com/board/11081663 * STAND UP: Everything you need to know about live lols (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/11082119 * MARMITE: The reasons why you love it or hate it (DinivanX) http://b3ta.com/board/11081851 All these images, and your favourites can be found here: http://b3ta.com/challenge/fakeinfographics/ >> New challenge: Invent an animal << This weeks challenge is to play God and invent some new creatures. Head to your zoological drawing board and come up with some stuff that would make David Attenborough giggle. http://b3ta.com/challenge/inventanimals/ ------------------------------------------------- Yeah: [email protected] No: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by SpanishFly, GloballyRelaxed, skullbuggery, Gratch, John Mytton, bonnie_prince_bob, Taramasalata. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. ------------------------------------------------- LOOK. WE SOLD A FUCKING AD. CLICK THE FUCKER. http://www.improbableisland.com next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive