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 This Week:
 * FARTING - chimneys
 * SEXY - Ukip?
 * WORKSAFE - Your photoshop wonders
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving our
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   piss in bottles
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ...together"
 B3ta email 622  - 7th March 2014
 Read this issue wearing ham as a hat:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue622
    Lovers : [email protected]
    Twats : [email protected]
  
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SPONSORED LINK
   STEVE McFADDEN - Canvas Clock
   Reviews include: "This is a piece of
   timekeeping gold and you'll kick yourself if
   you don't snap one up before they sell out.
   Hopefully you won't kick yourself as hard as
   Steve McFadden would kick a guy who knocked his
   pint over in the Queen Vic... because you'd
   kick yourself into a coma... and then you
   couldn't enjoy an A5-sized clock with Steve
   McFadden's face on it."
 http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B003BRMKD...
  
   >> Sponsor B3ta <<
   Want this space? Then talk to us.
 http://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
   >> Farting employed to sell gas <<
   "Cue indignation," writes a braced-for-it
   HCowling. But it's still plenty excellent.
   Tee hee. Farting.
 http://www.b3ta.com/links/Farting_employed_to_sell...
   >> Trippy transitions <<
   "I Made this odd little hand-drawn animation,"
   confesses Butters. It is the weirdest thing
   you'll see all day.
 http://www.b3ta.com/links/Naughty_Prawns
   >> Channel flipper <<
   "A short and stupid bit of animation," mumbles
   chipping sodbury. Ok, *this* is the weirdest
   thing you'll see all day.
 http://www.b3ta.com/links/Channel_flipper:4
 -------------------------------------------------
 : USVSTH3M STUFF
   The other b3taish project
  
   * The Toilet Etiquette Quiz - Are you a quitter
   at the shitter or a real king of the throne?
 http://games.usvsth3m.com/toilet-etiquette-quiz/
   * Who Would Play You In A Movie? - Our test will
   match you with a Hollywood A-Lister.
 http://games.usvsth3m.com/who-would-play-you/
   * You Can’t Do Simple Maths Under Pressure - our
   early big hit.
 http://games.usvsth3m.com/maths/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Results from the NSFW-SFW Challenge
   Last week we wanted you to take terrible things
   on the web and make them office-safe
   Your favourites included:
 
   * NAM: in which General Nguyen Ngoc Loan paints
   a delightful watercolour (Flash_Bastard)
 http://www.b3ta.com/board/11061493
 
   * GOATSE: in which a cute-looking squirrel paints
   a delightful watercolour (Spruce Bringsteen)
 http://www.b3ta.com/board/11062536
   * ATOS: wilfully misunderstood entry provides
   searing health policy indictment (mictoboy)
 http://www.b3ta.com/board/11061805
  
   All these images, and the highest, as voted by
   you, can be found here:
 http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/nsfw-sfw/
   >> New challenge: Make TV More Interesting <<
   This week's challenge is to spruce up TV: This
   Morning sponsored by WWE, perhaps? Coronation
   Street transported to Syria? Just make TV more
   interesting, because it needs it (suggested by
   Christian's Bolt and Ski)
 http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/interesting-tv/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : OTHER STUFF WE ALSO LIKE
   That we've seen this week
   * Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle - Series 3
   episode 1 on iPlayer now. Genius.
 http://goo.gl/V2KBw3
   * It's the pin-ups from UKIP.
 http://ukipsosexy.tumblr.com/
   * Johnny and the Baptists - UKIP song
 http://goo.gl/qVNKfO
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     Thankers:  [email protected]
     Wankers:  [email protected]
 -------------------------------------------------
   THANKS:
   This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
   Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Pissflaps, BumCoffee,
   TownsendsPublisher. Image challenge by Fraser
   Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  
 -------------------------------------------------
   TOP TIP:
   Use electric guitar strings instead of dental
   floss, for that 'hi-tec' futuristic feeling.
   (robneymcplum)

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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