we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "EASTER EGG OF THE DAY: GOOGLING THE WORD 'ASKEW'" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * GAME OF THRONES - dubbed as a comedy movie * MORSE - lols from the olde timey internet * COCKS - hidden on the London Tube map ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving ___/ _ |/_ > Morse LOLz 3 << "This is the 3rd release in our historical series, made with archive footage of the earliest internet users," beeps wallopfilms. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Morse_LOLz_3 >> Pops does a "Computer Googling" << There's something we really enjoy about this series from Touched by an Angle Grinder. Here, TBAAG's dad waxes lyrical on how much the "computer Google" has improved since he was young. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1081556/ >> Do you deliver? << "Just whacked up a new thingy innit," brags the internet's tiny Joel Veitch. More escapades with his disturbing puppet pals. http://b3ta.com/links/Stallion_Explosion_Delivery ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M Stuff we like and also we made >> British Gas Bill Simulator << BG is putting its prices up again. Find out how it’ll affect you with this online calculator. http://bit.ly/19amJxE >> The six penises hidden on the London Tube Map << We can't believe they've been staring us in the face all this time. http://usvsth3m.com/post/64118798676/the-six-hidde... >> Donna Summer’s Disco Sausage Quiz << Face the Sausage’s quickfire questions about both disco and preserved meats. http://toys.usvsth3m.com/donna-summers-disco-sausa... >> Paris? Where the Hell is Paris? << Test your geography skills against the world. Can you pin down where the capital cities are? http://toys.usvsth3m.com/paris/ >> Things people say on Twitter << ...and what they really mean. Basically, humans are the worst, aren't they? http://usvsth3m.com/post/64289939215/things ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Irrational People As Freddie Woo so succinctly puts it, "I'm having to drive 500 miles to pick up my son from the ex's house because she won't let him take the train in case he gets off at the wrong station. He's 19 years old and has A-Levels." Read on for more crazy unreasoning: http://b3ta.com/questions/irrationalpeople * MOON - "I discovered that one of my work-mates was one of these deluded moon-landings-were-faked fools. He was also someone who was interested in an intellectual debate over a couple of beers, so I told him to gather any supposed evidence he could find, so I could point out why it was invalid. "He duly turned up at the pub with some printouts from a website with all the usual cliches - no stars (chuckle), flag waving (chortle), wrong shadow directions (guffaw). But it quickly became apparent that this was something different, and far stranger. The website he'd found was claiming, apparently seriously, that the Moon itself didn't actually exist. The fact that we think we can see it in the sky was an illusion, a conspiracy perpetrated by the shadowy powers that control our lives. "Yes, the Moon is a hoax. Clearly we can't have landed on it, since it doesn't exist. I have to admit that I found it hard to know where to start with my rebuttal..." (moon monkey) * BUFFOON - "Discussing with my ex-girlfriend how I was having trouble finding a job. I'd finished university and was working in Woolworths whilst trying to get a better job. 'There are more jobs in London, why don't you move down here?' 'I would, but I'd need a job first so I could afford to move down.' 'No. I live in London and I don't have a job!' 'Yes, but you have a flat.' 'Well if I can have a flat in London without having a job, why can't you?' 'Errrr. Your Dad BOUGHT your flat for you.' 'I really don't see what that's got to do with anything...' (SnowyTheRabbit) * BALLOON - "A friend of mine absolutely refused to drive anywhere at night because she was worried she would hit someone and not notice. I always thought I could cure her irrational fear by setting up some empty plastic trash bins and having her bump them with her car at low speeds, to show that it's impossible to not notice even that kind of impact. "The opportunity never came up, so instead I wedged an old deflated child's birthday balloon and some human hair in the underside of her bumper when she was leaving work for the day, figuring that facing her fear was the only way to get past it." (Wank Fuckclunge) >> This Week - BAD DATES << Tell us about your least successful date. Arrive late? Forget their name? Show them goatse on your phone just as the main course arrived? Or was it the other way around? http://b3ta.com/questions/baddates/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates >> Extreme Makeover - Fuck-Mattress edition << Kind-hearted strangers provide a much-needed makeover for an abandoned mattress in the woods. http://bit.ly/16ZHNtm >> How Twitter outrage works << It's Buzzfeed, it's good and it basically ate Twitter earlier this week. Loads and loads of detail and little in-jokes that reward paying attention. http://bit.ly/GRq2AD >> iPhone 5s vs. Peppa Pig phone << The head-to-head product comparison you NEED to read. http://bit.ly/GKZ6Sl >> Marxwear << The Father of Communism has never looked more marketable, than in these head-swapped fashion shots. http://marxwear.tumblr.com/ >> The sad boyfriends of Etsy << Nice bit of social observation. Many Etsy stores are run by female crafters - stuck for models, they push their unenthusiastic boyfriends in front of the camera. http://sadetsyboyfriends.tumblr.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Like really, really, really long GIFs >> Game of Thrones as Judd Apatow comedy << Eddie Stark's job is to get Medieval Land Fun Time World up and ready for its grand opening. But his co-workers are such losers and misfits. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082420/ >> Superheroes without superpowers << Just why do the Avengers let the non-powered heroes tag along on missions? All is revealed. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082187/ >> Dennis Skinner storms PM's Questions << One to make you angry, as Dennis Skinner MP launches a searing attack on ATOS and the DWP, for leaving a terminally-ill man without benefits for a year. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082374/ >> Rats, doing tricks << They may be basically incontinent vermin who like to die in your wall cavities, but rats are plenty clever, agile and dexterous enough to train for daring jewel thefts. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Rats_doing_tricks >> Peter Serafinowicz sings Morrissey autobiography << The best comment we've seen so far on the great man's recently-published memoir. http://www.youtube.com/watch >> Cake-O-Matic << Hungry engineer bravely harnesses the power of the internal combustion engine to throw cake at his face with great velocity. https://www.youtube.com/watch ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Reverse Challenge Last week we wanted you to show everything backwards. Your favourites included: * IN-JOKE: artful rodent paints buxom warrior weirdo (Tribs) http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019230 * IN-JOKE: young wrestler monitors skyline development with anticipation (Sorbus) http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019641 * IN-JOKE: wild canine finds great pleasure in t-shirt splendour (HappyToast) http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019213 All these images, and the highest as voted by you can be found here: http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/reverse/ >> New challenge: Chickens! << The humble chicken is one of the most popular meals across the globe, but it's never been celebrated with its own b3ta image challenge. This week, we're putting that right. Chickens. Go mental http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/chickens ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * NICE WEATHER INSURANCE - who'll insure us against the consequences of not going to work 'cos it's lovely and sunny out? * DONUTS ON A STICK - wait, you can already get those? * INKJET WALL PRINTERS - because wallpaper is too hard. Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Sub: [email protected] Snub: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Fork, Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver, Beau Bo d'Or, robneymcplum, PhillieJoe, SnowyTheRabbit and sinisterduck. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols via NoStrings. ------------------------------------------------- : TOP TIP: Get an exclusive preview of the latest Coldplay song by listening to any of Coldplay's previous songs. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive