we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "B3TA WORTH $18BN MORE THAN DETROIT" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * HORROR - Your body-wrongs * CATS - Your name in frisky felines * iOS7 - You redesign Apple's greatest mistake ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "¿Qué?" ___/ _ |/_ > Sponsor B3ta << Want this space? Then talk to us. http://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK >> The Alphabet - Part One << "My latest animation," explains Paolo, of this charming visual alphabet. Only goes to D so far, but he's planning on going the whole way - the crazy fool. http://vimeo.com/paulrayment/thealphabet >> Kittens fighting << "I saw two kittens fighting," begins timoncheese. "So I filmed them for a bit and made this." The episodic structure makes their scampering antics all the more charming. You don't want to get kitten overload. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1035468 >> Photos from London << "This is a moving pictures account of our trip to London," writes Black Moon. Nice visual effects, make this very 'Harry Potter wizard pics'. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Photos_from_London ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Body Horror Last week we wanted to know if your own body had ever made you recoil in disgust. Read on, and recoil in disgust: http://b3ta.com/questions/bodyhorror/ * SCROTE - "I had a hangover. In the bathroom the retching outlasted the contents of my stomach, and stringy bile began to spatter atop the undigested Guinness and chips in the toilet. Then blood appeared. Then more blood. Blood upon blood upon blood. Terror gripped me. I managed to stop retching long enough to look down my throat in the mirror. My uvula (the little dangly thing at the back) was horribly swollen and hanging very low. And it was resting right on that sick-inducing sweet-spot - it was like having a finger permanently shoved down my throat. Panic set in, I couldn't breathe and I had my first full-blown anxiety attack. A few hours later, when I'd calmed down, I went to hospital. The doctor couldn't explain it. "These things sometimes happen," he remarked, like a true professional. "Gargle some aspirin or something," he suggested helpfully. My uvula is now hideously disfigured. Where once there was a smooth teardrop of flesh, there's now something that looks alarmingly like a ballsack, with one side hanging lower than the other: basically I puked so hard I grew a ballsack in my mouth." (CopyBeard) * POO - "I had a small lump in my neck. It wasn't painful, or anything. Just a lump. Then one morning, it was gone, and all I found was a little lump of poo in my bed. I can only assume I had a neck poo. I was not happy." (Windy Pig) * GUTS - "A couple of weeks back I got home late, and there, on my step, was the body of a seagull chick. I hate the screeching fucks, so I didn't go all girly at this tragic loss of life. No, I bent down to take a closer look. It was a damp night, and the tiny fluffy body was, grotesquely, covered in slugs. There was no way I was picking up a sluggy corpse. Disposal could wait... Next day was hot. I got out of bed and ran out to meet my Dad. Through the conservatory. Over the patio. Down the steps. And onto a sweaty rancid juvenile avian corpse. Barefoot. Bowels exploded out of its arse and decorated the steps with delicate pinky-brown tubes; my next step landed in them. I can honestly say that sitting on a curb dry-heaving with a foot-full of entrails is a humbling experience. There's nothing as fucking disgusting as having to wash day-old guts from between your toes with a hosepipe." (Paolo Nutini's Bikini) >> This Week - UNREASONABLE CRUELTY << Your all little angels, of course, but tell us of the times when events have taken a turn for the harsh: http://b3ta.com/questions/unreasonablecruelty/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates >> Your name in cats << Internet, your long wait is over. http://nekofont.upat.jp/en/ >> Painting with words << An excellent new way to waste time when you should be working. http://tholman.com/texter/ >> 80s handheld LCD games simulator << This site lets you play loads of 80s electronic handheld games like Game & Watch. http://www.pica-pic.com/#/castle_adventure/ >> People in pizza costumes becoming full pizzas << Some fancy dress costume are just begging to be made into animated gifs. These are those. http://bit.ly/i4nNu >> The 100m scroll << The afternoon simply dragging on? Try this simple game that involves dragging your scroll wheel over 100m as quickly as you possibly can. http://the100meterscroll.com/ >> Instant Streetview << Quite exciting to just type in the name of a location and have it pop up on Streetview - rather than all the faff of dragging the little man all over a map. http://www.instantstreetview.com/ >> Should I read the Daily Mail? << The only website you'll need today. The only website you'll need any day. Except Sunday. Somebody needs to make shouldIreadthemailonsunday.com http://shouldireadthedailymail.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M That other website that shares our love >> Redesign iOS7 << All the top designers are sticking their oar in, on how Apple's latest can be made... well, good. Why not have a go for yourself, with this handy toy? http://toys.usvsth3m.com/redesign-ios-7/ >> The One Second Stopwatch game << Try to stop the Casio digital watch at exactly 1 second. Painstakingly faithful recreation of an old favourite childhood game. http://toys.usvsth3m.com/watch/ >> How Katie Hopkins trolls for £££ profit << We largely ignored Katie Hopkins’s latest outburst: how boring, she’s being mean about people to create a twit-storm. Yawn. But then we realised there was method to her crassness. http://usvsth3m.com/post/55857079607/ ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO When will pixels finally be obsolete? >> Quadruple Robo Backflip << Amazing athleticism from diminutive robot gymnast. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Quadruple_Robo_Backflip >> Stag party 'bridge jump' troll << Particularly good example of how being invited on a stag party makes your best buddies into your most fiendish foes. Groom blindfolded and told everyone was about to jump off a bridge. http://www.b3ta.com/links/1035884 >> Speedrun: Blade Runner in 60 Seconds << Blazing fast, animated recap of the Ridley Scott classic, that barely pauses to draw breath. "I said let's go!" http://www.b3ta.com/links/1033656 >> Rolling Clay with Keith << Pottery enthusiast embraces his inner Adele. Genuinely lovely. http://www.youtube.com/watch ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. >> The making of 'I Love You So Hard' << "I'm always totally astounded by the sheer amount of work that went into this epochal piece of work," exclaims Joel Veitch. "Mainly on the part of animator Ross Butters. "Here's the full 'making of' film, so you can see the glory of the final result in all its... err.... glory." http://www.b3ta.com/links/1035370 ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include: * TURN OFF THE MAIL - Can someone start a Kickstarter to buy the Daily Mail and switch it off? * AMOEBA PENIS-SCROLL - How long it would take to scroll the average penis in HTML5 if you were the size of an amoeba? * TOILET DOOR OPENING HAND-HOOKS for when you're not sure if other people in the office have washed their hands. Important: Hand-hooks must be designed to not make you look like a weirdo. Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Friends: [email protected] Twats: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Captain Howdy, Dawn Of The Bread, The Tramp Surveyor. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Atomic cocks! Give people cancer with your radioactive jizz (2 Can Chunder) next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive