we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: 'SUBJECT LINE CANCELLED DUE TO 1" OF SNOW' next issue » « previous issue This Week: * ORGAN - Prince Charles loves pipes * TAT - Mobile phone hip flask * TUNE - Minor chords to major ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the webs ___/ _ |/_ > Prince Charles Pipes << "Charlie loves a big organ," double entendres Swede Mason. The more you listen to this track, the weirder Charles sounds - and the more common the next voice you hear, including your own. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Pipes >> Candle puzzle << What happens when you burn the candle at both ends? Any ideas? "A nice puzzle that you can easily set up yourself with a candle and a few bits and bobs," writes Nicholas Harrigan. This level of infectious enthusiasm is impossible to fake. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Candle_puzzle >> P Diddy appreciates... << A sophisticated guy, Diddy deserves this automated tumblr to document his varied tastes. "Today P Diddy is appreciating something delicious, but probably unlikely," informs shardcore. http://diddyappreciates.tumblr.com/post/4067527916... ------------------------------------------------- : AMAZON TAT The shit they sell and the reviews you write * MOBILE PHONE FLASK - if you're an alcoholic who wants to put a kick in your pint then why not buy a flask in the style of an old Nokia phone? Classy. http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B007MP01X... * COMMUNION WAFERS BOX OF 1,000 - this for the trollish reviews, "These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. Order several boxes of Jesus, and He'll help you out with that unsightly double chin, just as you prayed!" http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/080547085... * PhD "LOLS" - Imagine the giggling oceanography academics who got to name this book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/044441574... ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Saying the unsayable Last week we wanted to know when you'd been forced to say what everyone thinks, but isn't saying. Because you are all such gentle flowers: http://b3ta.com/questions/sayingtheunsayable/ * "Careful Where You Stand" - "Bloke I used to work with ponged a bit and, as the only other man in the office, I was nominated to find a quiet moment: 'Adam, sorry to say it, but your feet really smell bad.' A:'I think that's my trousers, actually.' 'Oh, right. Well your trousers smell bad then.' A:'They would, I've been wearing them for about a month.' 'Would you consider changing them, then?' A:'Alright. I'll wear a fresh pair tomorrow.' 'OK, good. Because people have noticed and there's been a few complaints from the girls. And it is fair enough, to be honest.' A:'I don't really care what the girls think. Some of them are quite bitchy.' Me:'In what way?' A:'They keep saying I smell.'" (SnowyTheRabbit) * "A Message" - "I had a long train journey down to London with the boyfriend. We'd just settled down in our reserved seats when I started to realise someone in the carriage had really bad B.O. It was quite a quiet train and not wanting to offend anybody, I wasn't sure how to suggest to my boyfriend that I thought we should move as it stank. I was sure he could smell the offending odour. I hit upon a brainwave: I'll write it on my phone and show him. I quickly typed out, 'Stinks in here. Someone has bad B.O. Shall we move carriages?' and showed him. This is the point when he said in a rather loud voice 'BO?' (pronouncing it BO as in BO' Selecta) 'What's BO? Who has BO?', at which point I went bright red and slid far, far down into my train seat..." (tiddlywink) * "Warning Sign" - "I quite like Coldplay. Whew, it's a relief to finally get that off my chest." (moon monkey) >> This Week - SORRY << With Tesco taking out full page adverts to apologise for selling us ponyburgers, now is the time for us all to say Sorry. Write a letter of apology to someone who deserves it here: http://b3ta.com/questions/sorry/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates >> Major scaled << Classic songs, digitally reworked from minor key to major. Inappropriately cheery. http://vimeo.com/majorscaledtv >> The Cold War dollhouse << Marketed during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, this children's toy has a slightly heart-wrenching faithfulness to reality. http://bit.ly/WmTi3m >> Parcel for Mr. Assange << Interesting experiment - mailing a remote camera to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, documenting every step of the journey. How many levels of security does Assange's post have to pass through? Will the camera make it to the man himself? http://archive.is/lIwe8 >> Game developers' hidden messages << Data hidden in the ROM of retro computer games; like a time capsule of young programmers bragging, birth announcements, complaints and office gossip from 20 years ago. Genuinely fascinating. http://bit.ly/ZRkWuO >> Death Row meals << Photographer recreates prisoners' final meals in his apartment. Morbidly fascinating. Is there so much fried food because it's comforting or because you can finally stop worrying about your cholesterol? http://bit.ly/VluCd9 >> WTF Evolution? << Tumblr blog takes nature to task, with examples of its questionable taste and competence. Yeah! Stick it to the man! http://wtfevolution.tumblr.com/ >> Waxy melt-groin tights << Pretty much what it says in the title; these leggings make it look as if you're dripping wax down your thighs. Fashion, huh? http://bit.ly/ScC62G ‏ ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Like TV but w/o the Julie Burchill lynch mob * MOON HOAX REBUTTAL - Although the author has no way of knowing if anyone has been to the Moon, he knows that in 1969 they couldn't have faked the video. Worth sticking around for the final point at the end. http://www.youtube.com/watch * EXTREME SPORTS KITTENS - GoPro seem quite voguish at the moment; a sports camera that can be attached to anything. Last week it was a trombone and this week it's playing with kittens. Now stick one on your tummy and film a FPS where the weapon is a penis. http://bit.ly/Vb4BQy * LIVE-ACTION SHOT-BY-SHOT RECREATION OF TOY STORY - simply extraordinary level of work and what a way to really get a hang of film making. (We recommend 17:30 as a timestamp.) http://www.youtube.com/watch * I'M A DOG AND I LIKE SOCKS - metal and ridiculous lyrics - reminds us of something Andrew K might have written. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_a_dog_and_I_like_sock... * TRUST FAIL - fall and I'll catch you. Oh. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Trust_Fall ------------------------------------------------- : FRIDAY GAME Physics Pacman Wouldn't normally link to a downloady game but the idea is so neat - a version of Pacman where you rotate the maze and drop him onto the ghosts. Watch the video: http://stabyourself.net/notpacman/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the British Empire Challenge Last week we wanted you to imagine that Britain still had a vast, important Empire. Your favourites included: * DADDY: fat wrestler causes havoc in meme-collision frenzy (barryheadwound) http://www.b3ta.com/board/10906695 * FILM: spectacular Britishness dominates Los Angeles skyline (alpaca) http://www.b3ta.com/board/10906767 * LINGO: handy guide for foreigns touring the realm. Toodle Pip! (daveyclayton) http://www.b3ta.com/board/10906703 All these images, and the highest as voted by you can be found here: http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/empire/ >> New challenge: Gay Robots << This week's challenge is a two word challenge celebrating one thing: Gay Robots. Go wild. Challenge suggested by mictoboy. http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/gay-robots/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * HELMSDEEP EAR-UPDATE - The latest on b3tan Helmsdeep's cochlear implant: "I'm hearing lots more stuff, but I'm having trouble understanding it in the way I used to... which is complicated." http://wlmager.com/two-steps/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * UKSNOT - Why should #uksnow have all the action? Build us a system to track rhinovirus infections across the UK by getting people to tweet their current #uksnot levels. Make maps with green goop over them. * A 25TH HOUR - One more hour a day would mean a happier newsletter team. * CLOTHES THAT NEVER NEED WASHING - isn't washing a bore? Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Pinches: [email protected] Punches: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by ed siteman, mr___benn, ben dadds, ‏@jongomm, ‏@WightHot, @Matt_Muir, ‏@mattround, ‏@tomroyal, ‏@area, executiverocker, The Scrunt. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top tip via NoStrings. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Make your own spider by gluing pubes to a raisin. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive