we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "A G N B. THAT'S BANG OUT OF ORDER." next issue » « previous issue This Week: * HTML - The secrets behind Fujitsu * BREASTS - Making ice-cream from human milk * VIDEO - Dolphin wedding ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're raving, ___/ _ |/_ > Sponsor B3ta << Want this space? Going cheap this week. "Cheep. Cheep." http://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK Headbanging, Code, Info and Magic >> Breast milk ice-cream << Extraordinary scenes, as Phraser and the Blag a Million crew grab a van and attempt to sell ice cream made from human breast milk. We caught ourselves thinking, "OMG, you can't feed breast milk to children!" Heh. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Selling_Breast_Milk_Ice_... >> Songs in code << Geeky fun, as Twitter nerds try to recreate popular songs through the medium of simple computer scripts. Ginger German, Chris Heilmann started this particular ball rolling. http://snurl.com/songsincode >> Information is Beautiful << Fantastic stuff here from graph-and-diagram aficionado David McCandless including the truth about Twitter, the walled-off areas that hide all the world's good stuff and how many Wal-Marts it would take to fill up the hole in the economy. http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/ >> Fuji HTML magic << A while back we roundly mocked Fujitsu for the odd formatting of their web site's HTML. Turns out we were way out of line. Lorenzo spotted this, Pedantichrist told us about it. http://snurl.com/htmlwoofun >> Don't text whilst listening to Queen << "It's shocking," warns happinno. "Every day 1000s... well, not 1000s: 100s... well, okay, not hundreds - but certainly a few people die on the roads whilst texting and listening to Queen. With your help we can stop this. Thanks to Defyingdarwin for all the work and to me for taking credit for it." http://snurl.com/queenyq ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK School Projects We wanted to know if people still made things for school projects instead of just Googling it. http://b3ta.com/questions/schoolprojects/ * TATTOO - "I majored in Anthropology in college, and for my senior project I had to do a paper or project on material culture in the modern world. I chose to do mine on Russian prison tattoos. I was not what you'd call a "motivated" student, (I finished 22nd from the bottom in my class) so it got to be a couple days before it was due and I hadn't even started. There was no way I was going to be able to write a 20 page paper in a couple days, so I opted for the project instead. What arose in the next couple of days has become the stuff of legend at my school, and the professor still uses my video as an example in class. I decided to videotape myself getting an authentic Russian prison tattoo on my ass. Words fail to describe the experience, so I'll let the video do the talking. I got an A." (raulduke) http://www.vspworld.com/vsp/ * SNOT - "I opened a book I was marking in my class the other day to find that in the absence of a glue stick a child had used a bogie to stick his work down." (Mrs Liveinabin) * CHRIST - "Draw the Resurrection of Jesus they said. Whereas everyone else drew bearded stick-men surrounded by yellow light, I decided to go for the realistic approach. At the end of the lesson I handed in a full-colour drawing showing, in gruesome detail, the body of Christ being dragged from its resting place by bears." (MJPerry) >> This Week's Question << Have you taped all your remotes together, peep-show-style? Have you wired your doorbell to the toilet? What enterprising DIY have you done with technology?. Talk to us here: http://b3ta.com/questions/technohacks/ ------------------------------------------------- : SEXY LINKS Two is a pattern, three is a trend >> Sexy corner << * EXECS - Gallery of grinning business types and their PR photos presented for your ironic appreciation. Or is it ironic? http://sexyexecs.blogspot.com/ * A-LEVELS - The site describes itself as "the more egregious examples of the UK photo editors' tendency to promote rather more teenage flesh on A-level results day than would perhaps seem required." Nothing to add here: http://sexyalevels.tumblr.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that was made by our haters >> Whimsical Gravestones << Collection of odd and often-amusing memorials from around the world. Makes you wish you'd met them when they were alive. The Scrabble one was oddly touching. http://bit.ly/1bB2YS >> Lamebook << The week's most massive Facebook fails aggregated together to save you having to share Superpokes and Funwalls with a bunch of losers. http://www.lamebook.com/ >> Cat ladders << Elaborate climbing systems to help cats into and out of tall buildings, without opening the way to any burglar larger than a marmoset. http://catladder.blogspot.com/ >> Translation party << Type an English phrase and this handy site will repeatedly translate to and from Japanese until any sort of sense is lost. "B3ta: We, Web and that are stored..." http://www.translationparty.com/#2205524 >> EVERYTHING that is crap on amazon << Fun with Amazon's product tags, as someone has collected together every product that's been described as 'rubbish'. Can there be a more objective method of filling your house with crap? http://snurl.com/crap_products_at_amazon ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO Like Rudetube but without the rude bits edited out >> Dolphin wedding << Worth it for the catching the wedding bouquet shot - if only everyone's wedding videos could be this good. http://www.youtube.com/watch >> QVC guy falls off ladder << If we worked in marketing for a satellite station we'd blow our entire budget stunting up stuff like this daily. http://www.youtube.com/watch >> Crap reenactments << The point of TV news is that it's almost as good as being there. Say, for example, there's an bear in the woods, you'd hope that TV might be able to film it? But not, they miss the action and stunt it up with a cardboard stand-in. What is news's loss is comedy's gain. Gets good at around the 40 second mark. http://www.youtube.com/watch >> Cardboard crocodile eats school kids << Parents! Do you have a child that's going to school this September? Maybe they're using a school bus and they're nervous about being away from their parents? Show them this video. YOU ARE EVIL, DON'T DO THAT! http://www.cool4cats.biz/page16.htm >> The Room - the Citizen Kane of bad movies << Back when we were young people, hipsters had know about Plan 9 from Outer Space - then a few years back the definitive crap movie was Troll II. These days - if you want to be down with the kids you need a Nintendo Gameboy strapped round your neck playing a chiptune version of "Hip to be Square" by Huey Lewis and The News, and most of all, you need to be quoting "The Room." http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Room_the_Citizen_Kan... ------------------------------------------------- : FUNNY NAME CORNER If we type out the joke it will ruin the surprise Bamber writes, "A friend of mine who emigrated to Australia earlier this year was looking for short courses at her local college and came across this nugget." http://www.boxhill.edu.au/ShortCourses/TLDGC.htm ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE You remember animated gifs don't you? >> New challenge: Sausages << This week's one-word challenge is to celebrate the king of foods; that most magical mix of meat and spice: SAUSAGES! Challenge suggested by The Hedgehog From Hell. http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/sausages/ PLEASE NOTE - the win a laptop compo is open for another 3 weeks, so please enter if you haven't already. Currently 434 images and at least 11 of them will win prizes. http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/mockthepoliticians/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * OLD MONEY TO NEW MONEY - Tinlad writes, "As per the newsletter request, please find attached link which will take you to a JavaScript abomination that I've cobbled together that will tell you how much a certain amount of pounds from back in the day (back to 1264) is worth now (well, up to 2008). Probably not very accurate." Oooh, this has a nice slidey thing that's fun to use. http://www.mydarkmaterials.co.uk/oldmoney/ * RETRO GAMES EVENT - The Janey Thompson's Marathon game, produced by B3ta peeps Matt Round and of course your Ginger Fuhrer has been bunged into a cabinet and will be featured in the upcoming Retro Gaming show in Leeds. Organiser Gordon Sinclair has just sent us two tickets so you might even see us here, should you want to pop down: http://snurl.com/retroleeds * ASTROTURFING LAW - you know when brands post bullshity comments on their own youtube vids saying how great they are? Apparently since 2008 it has been illegal. Iwasnteventhere writes, "Following on from the copy cunts link in the latest newsletter I discovered even more skulduggery going on over at Land Rover." Interesting stuff, and hopefully, if we work together we can send everyone in the British car industry to jail. http://snurl.com/advertisingbollocks ------------------------------------------------- : FRIDAY GAME This is only one level Sneaky little flash game by the same chap who did the "Achievement Unlocked" game that we featured a few months ago. http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/this-is... ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something wickedly ace and cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff, and probably want to touch your penis or vagina. Things we'd really like to see include * PUPPIFY - MrTrent asks, "As wonderful as Kittenify is, I'm more of a dog person myself. Is there any chance some kind soul could replace the kittens with puppies? I'd be ever so grateful." BTW: Another reader mentions kittenify works particularly well on porny thumbnail sites like youjizz. YOU PERVERTS, * WHAT'S YOUR AMAZON IQ? - "A site that rates your IQ according to your Amazon purchases. i.e. -10 points for each Clarkson book bought." (Monkeon) * INSTANT REGRETS - chopeh requests, "a collection of user submitted instant regrets: i.e. shaking a tramps hand." And a special "yay woo" to @EddEgg who ponders, "I often get too lazy to go for a piss. Does it make my bladder stronger or just damage it? Get someone to do some science stuff" Send contributions via the mail form. http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by @ChieferMadness, @rmt_1982, @sumarumi, @armyofcats, @jennyc72, @Albertgordon96, @jivameuk, @lennym, @The_No_Show, @Tinpot, @mydogminton, @richardcbenson, @CreepingCreep, AND @jaredearle. Love you all. Additional linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Games via via tzambissamo Subjlols via arichw. ------------------------------------------------- MGMT isn't actually an acronym, it's the word 'management' condensed to four letters. It took me a while to discover BDSM has surprisingly little to do with Buddhism. (furiousg) http://www.sickipedia.org/ next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive