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   NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 2: KILL YOUR FRIENDS, DOG SHIT AND PARANOIA
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 "it's the fish that John West reject that makes John West
 the best"
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 Subscribe: send blank mail to         B3TA issue 2
 [email protected]        27 July 2001
 In this issue:
     Kill your friends, dog shit and paranoia.
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 WHAT YOU SHOULD DO THIS WEEK
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 ::: KILL YOUR FRIENDS
     We've made a fantastic new game. You upload a
     picture of your friend, and you shoot the shit
     out of him with a big gun:
     You can put in your boss, and look cool by sending
     it to your mates so everyone can compete to see who
     can kill him most. Or you could do it with George W.
     Or you could put in a monkey. Or a stoat.
     Hell, you can put in anything you like! Wa-hey! It
     generates a unique url for every game so they're
     easy to send round.
     Basically, it's the most unpleasant tool for
     spreading hate and anger ever devised.
     Your friends hate you. You hate them too. We know.
     Fuck them over with a big fuck off gun.
     To start to you off, here's one we made earlier:
     (with jeffrey archer)
 http://b3ta.com/kill/g.php
     To create your own:
 http://www.b3ta/kill
 ::: CHECK YOUR DOG'S EGGS FOR CASH
     Swedish dogs shit money. It comes out a bit yellow
     and smelly, but usable.
     Take a look at your dog's arse to make it rich.
 http://news.excite.com/news/r/010724/08/odd-sweden...
 ::: MAKE MONEY FROM DOG JUICE
     A company has made posters that smell of dog urine.
     dogs are attracted to the posters and their owners
     have to stand there looking at the ad. Why not
     make yourself more attractive to other people by
     urinating on yourself?
 http://media.guardian.co.uk/advertising/story/0,74...
 ::: SET DOGS ON PEOPLE
     Why not buy an attack dog and train it to kill?
     Think of all the fun you could have setting it
     on strangers.
 http://www.dogowar.co.uk/
 ::: BE PARANOID
     Marketers are paying young beautiful people to lie
     about how nice things are to get you to buy them.
     Never believe anything anyone says. Especially if
     they're being nice. They are being paid to lie and
     deceive.
 http://www.nytimes.com/2001/07/15/magazine/15PHENO...
     (requires free registration to read)
     Also satellites can read your mind. Not ours. We
     wear tin foil on our heads.
 http://english.pravda.ru/main/2001/07/14/10131.htm...
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 WEB STUFF WE LIKE
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 ::: STICKMAN SHOOT 'EM UP
     This is  absolute genius. We are in awe. Visually
     stunning, really playable, this is how web
     games should be (apart from our ones of course).
 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b3ta/files/xiaoxiao_...
     This is a progression from the stunning stick man
     death kung fu animations done previously. If you
     missed it before, you can see the kung fu here:
 http://games.sohu.com/fightgame/fight3.swf
 ::: SINGING DICTIONARY
     Music is shit these days. Instead of making crap,
     everybody should be taking old classics and putting
     bored electronic voices over midi versions. Anarchy
     in the UK keeps all of its original aggression, and
     then some:
 http://www.dictionaraoke.com/
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 SHYTEGEIST
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 ::: YOUR MOBILE EATS MONKEYS
     Great apes could soon become extinct. They are being
     eaten for tea. Apparently it is largely down to
     people mining for mobile phone chips in the jungle
     or something.
     Celebrate with a chimpanzee head christmas bauble:
 http://www.europeanchristmas.com/pk4/store.pl
     Why eat chimps when you can get someone's head for
     tea?
 http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,491...
 ::: SEX
     Not getting laid? Why not make origami porn? It's
     better than the real thing.
 http://underground.zork.net/
     Or pay for a root, and have top trump fun with the
     trading cards
 http://www.jezuk.co.uk/cgi-bin/view/jez/prostitute...
 ::: ON THE BLOB
     Vanessa Tiegs paints pictures with her menstrual
     blood. We think she should do a sculpture  called
     "Red Mouse" involving a used tampon in a cage. Now
     that would be real art.
     See her gallery here:
 http://www.spiralingmoon.com/gallery/dark/darkinde...
     Prince Phillip declares boy "too fat to be an
     astronaut":
 http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_361096.html
     This story was from Ananova. She's dead sexy. We
     managed to take this behind-the-scenes
     photo of her with her boobs out.
 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b3ta/files/anonova.j...
     If you have any ananova porn, send it to us at
 [email protected]
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 FIN
 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 B3ta is a collective dedicated to celebrating weird
 creative shit on the web.
 ::: CONTACT US
     Leave a message on our board. we'll reply within 24
     hours.
 http://www.b3ta.com/board/1/board.html
 ::: CONTRIBUTORS THIS WEEK
     Joel http://www.rathergood.com/
     Rob http://www.tsluts.com/
     Dave http://lagrange3.blogspot.com/
     Mark McDonald http://www.tokisip.com/
     Alexi http://www.gaywap.com
     Fraser http://www.blogjam.com
     David http://www.fluffgirlwax.com
     Want to contribute? Then post on the message board
     or send an email to [email protected]
 ::: SUBSCRIPTION LINKS
     Subscribe to this email
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     Unsubscribe
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 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 In order to combat global warming New Zealand farmers are
 to be subject to a flatulence tax.

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