we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 126: "BABY RHINOS!" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * GAME - Nigella Bites! * ANIM - Life of the Yak * PHOTOS - Chernobyl Ghost Town ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Nigella bites! << What could be less challenging than a game based on helping Nigella Lawson bake a delicious pie? Ah, but what if a tragic baking accident had reduced her to a gibbering, floating, cannibalistic head? What if her hair was infested with hamsters? What then, dear reader? What then?? Proud creator Crazymum has not been taking the special brain medicine. http://www.crazymum.com/nigella.htm >> Yak documentary << Jim has clearly been busy, tracking and documenting the life-cycle of the mighty yak-beast. Look and learn. http://www.stuart.mitchell.zen.co.uk/images/flash/... >> Lemony pain << How would you sell lemon juice? Talk about its refreshing taste? Mention its high Vitamin C content? Not for Demented Panda. Oh no - he just squirts it directly up people's noses with a funnel. The joy of this video is watching the hapless actor, trying to endorse the product while spitting and weeping copiously. http://members.shaw.ca/indifferentmedia/files/lemo... >> Monster - a day in the life << B3ta regular Rogan Josh makes a welcome return this week, with this charming, animated glimpse into the everyday business of giant radioactive lizards. Influenced a little by the Power Puff Girls, but that's no bad thing, surely? http://www.roganjosh.co.uk/stuff/monster/ >> Spazzy, shouting animal namer << Hit the buttons with the animal's name, see its picture pop up. We don't know why, but this is very funny. B3ta blogger supreme Fraser Lewry has been labouring mightily at Flash School for the last few weeks and this is the first fruit of his Herculean efforts. Go Fraser! http://www.blogjam.com/flash/week6/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA RADIO Old People Talking Bollocks This week we're asking you to send in your stories of the stupid but endearing things that old people say. http://b3ta.com/questions/old_people_talk_bollocks... Oh and next week we've got Dave Rowntree - the drummer from Blur - coming in for a chat. He's here to promote his new animation series Empire Square - but hopefully we'll be able to get him to tap out his classic drum parts on the desk for your amusement. http://www.empiresq.com/ You can learn more about B3ta Radio and how to tune in here: http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Channel 4 cuntfest << UK readers will be familiar with the current C4 branding campaign where they ask celebs questions such as "When did you lose your virginity?" Hot link - and fuck we've been emailed it about 8 times this morning - of the day is the version made for cinema release, but banned. The question? What's your favourite swearword. Our favourite bit? Judy Finnegan saying fuck. It's like seeing the Queen bum-raping a horse. http://www.updater.co.uk/ >> Tranny or granny << Ah, the web. Why people put up personal photos of themselves in such compromising positions and not expect them to be emailed to all and sundry we'll never know. This one's a treat. http://pettipond.com/laterimages/pinups/jennifer_6... >> Chernobyl ghost town << Wow. What could be better than being a young lady on a motorbike and cruising through the deserted streets of Chernobyl with a camera? You need to see these haunting photos. Oh and if you work in TV - we want a documentary on this now. It's fascinating. http://www.ninja-assassin.com/mirror/Chernobyl/ >> Spock & Kirk gay fan art << Many writers have explored the homoerotic subtext to Shatner and Nimoy's Star Trek alter-egos. But thanks to these genius web artists we can now see it in the flesh. Make this your new wallpaper - live the dream. http://www.thyla.com/fan-art.html >> Guess my name << We're big fans of simplicity at b3ta. Too much stuff is overworked and underthunk. Conversely, this is ace: photos of ordinary people and you have to guess their name. The touch of genius is that the quiz stores your answer to create a straw poll on what random people think the person's name is. And the odd thing is - more often than not they get it right. Conclusively proves people look like their names. http://www.zerotv.com/namegame/answer_check.cfm >> I got Chris Rock's mobile << Imagine you buy a new mobile and you find you've accidentally got a famous actor's old number. Read this charming story of the consequences. http://www.laurasnyctales.com/current/chris-rock.h... >> Bikes with one wheel << Blimey. Take a look at these odd transport machines. We'll be laughing at the Segway in 20 years time, and in the same way. http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/TRANSPORT/mo... >> Tattoo clothes << Want to look like a urban fucktard without the expense or the pain of a full body tattoos? Buy these shirts. Scare your mum. http://64.225.33.220/default.asp >> Ganster rap << To those who say web animation has become bloated and over-worked we give you this. Visual economy and great timing make this flash video a demented treat. http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shig.php >> Minimalist web video << You thought the Asian one was low rent? Check this out. It managed to keep our interest simply by playing a great tune and making the browser wobble. Hell yeah! Fuck graphics - the cool kids are now working purely in the medium of movement. http://www.backup-source.com/dubdub/ >> Make your own George Bush posters << He he. Big news in the blogging world this week was the official George Bush campaign site that allows you to add your own text to posters and print them out. Unsurprisingly putting such a tool into the hands of a naturally libertarian group such as bloggers has resulted in a small phenomenon of bastardised and subversive messages joyfully created with the very tools meant to promote Bush. Join in the fun and create your own posters here: http://www.georgewbush.com/btl/CustomPoster.aspx ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH Baby Rhinos Increasingly we're understanding the psychology of cute. You like baby animals. We're not proud. You can have them - they fucking rock. This tiny, orphan rhino is gorgeous. Look - he's got a little jacket to keep him warm too. So sweet. http://snipurl.com/52c1 BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Get Rich Quick Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted methods to Get Rich Quick: http://b3ta.com/challenge/getrichquick/ We asked b3ta boarder 'northern blerk' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. Mr Northern Blerk writes - #1 "B3ta T-shirts - well, you can't launch your own T-Shirt brand and a competition for Get Rich Quick Schemes on the same week and not expect someone to take the piss. (Gype) http://b3ta.com/board/2837677 #2 "Zoo for the Blind - it's got Brian Blessed *and* bad taste! The perfect combination. (Sm0glane) http://b3ta.com/board/2839689 #3 "Dasani - it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't absolutely true! But it is, and is." (brianftang) http://b3ta.com/board/2844839 >> This week's challenge << This week, the challenge dictator gave us the suggestion, "The Film of the Game" http://b3ta.com/challenge/filmofthegame/ >> Last week's results << We buggered up in the results to the image challenge last week. Sorry about that. We're spazzers. Anyway. You can read them here: http://www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue125/#line322 ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * BUFFY SWEARING KEYBOARD REVIEW - one of the odd things about the web is that if you create something successful then it never dies. Rob Manuel and Joel Veitch made the swearing keyboard - ooh - 3 years ago now. And it's still pissing people off. Read this review, that misses the point but doesn't fail to entertain. http://b3ta.com/board/2870134 Oh, and if you're a new subscriber. Here's the keyboard for the sake of context: http://www2.b3ta.com/buffyswear/ * MORE ON QUIZNO'S / RATHERGOOD - Got a spare 15 minutes and some headphones? Listen to this radio news item on Joel's spongmonkeys and other web animation such as Strongbad. Best bit? Quizno's original owner expressing bewilderment about the ads. http://snipurl.com/51wt * IVOR THE ENGINE - in response to our link in last week's newsletter, "I wasted about two and a half hours of my company time," writes David Hamblin, "to make this paper model." Huzzah. Very lovely it is too. http://www.b3ta.com/board/2841193 ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * 3D HOT TUB - You know those 3D panoramic pictures, where you can turn in circles and look at mountains peaks as if you were really high up? Like to see that, but in a Jacuzzi, with sexy ladies. * HOOVER ART - Spill loads of dirt and hoover it up into something interesting. If your mum catches you, just tell her you're expressing yourself. * NEW PRODUCTS - Why oh why can't someone combine the power of cheese and of onion into one mighty, totally satisfying consumer product? Surely it's time for CHONIONS! Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Paul Coombs, Brad, Pickup Stix, jamspoon and will munkeh Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the baby b4ta otters. (72038) next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive