we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 120: "WE LOVE HORSES" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * GAME - Haggis tossing * ANIM - Come to Kenya * VIDEO - Jelly wrestling ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Haggis hurling challenge << Everyone knows that haggises are furry little creatures that live in the hills of Scotchland. Eclectech has made a Flash simulation of what is obviously an ancient, and very cute, Scottish sport. http://holistech.co.uk/haggis.php >> Come to Kenya << Weebl's talent has been growing like a marrow. Now we reap the bounteous harvest. These little lions and tigers are the best you'll ever see and the jingle is insanely catchy. We only hope the Kenyan Tourist Board is paying attention. Jonti says he'll swap all rights for two zebras. He's pregnant and needs the meat. http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/29/ >> Student cooking tips << Baffled by beans? Taxed by toast? Negated by potatoes? Paul Silver is the man to help you. He must have all of four weeks' experience advantage over you, but he's willing to share his hard-won wisdom. Bless. http://www.CookingWithStudents.co.uk >> Cheap space documentary << Craig Robinson is a master of making cool stuff look easy. Most recently you might have seen his Minipops quiz. Now he turns his pixelly hand to documentary film-making. You can barely see the budgetary restrictions. http://www.flipflopflyin.com/cheapthings/cheapspac... ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA RADIO Irrational Fears This week we've been asking about the stuff that shouldn't scare you but does. Like turning your back on a flushing loo. Blimey. Put on your tinfoil hats and have a read. http://www.b3ta.com/questions/irrationalfears/ You can learn more about b3ta radio and how to tune in here: http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Pilled-up dolphin coin-feast << There isn't much to this game, except the release of near-fatal doses of adrenaline into your cortex through massive audio-visual mayhem. It's like sex meets rock - on drugs. Oh yeah and there's a dolphin, but don't let that put you off your stroke. We found it an advantage. http://www.mausland.de/dolphin.swf >> Are you mad? << Ostensibly an online survey on your favourite celebrity, the questions rapidly make you feel uncomfortable, with their unspoken assumption that you are actually a stalker. That this is an authentic piece of research for Leicester University makes it all the more creepy. But that's okay - Brian May will make everything alright again, like a rock Jesus. http://www.le.ac.uk/pc/rtg/celebrity/celebrity1.ht... >> Glitter-alike << Gary Glitter look-alike: The question we have to ask is, does this bloke get any work? And doing what, for God's sakes? Perhaps he could endorse PC World. That would make them as happy as a man with two cocks. Hooray. http://www.splitting-images.com/gary_glitter.html >> Very simple game << Keep the red block from touching any of the blue blocks. Intricate motor control needed - like fucking a mouse's ear. We lasted 13.488 seconds. http://www.polyhex.com/misc/dodge.htm >> Music map << Maps are great. You can use them to find buried treasure. This map lets you find music related to bands you like. And you'll always strike gold. Er, if you look up Spandau Ballet, anyway. A brilliant use of the Amazon API. http://www.musicplasma.com/ >> Auto-Sorry << In need of a scapegoat? Pressed for time? Politicians, business men, kiddie fiddlers - this site will sincerely apologise for anything you tell it to. http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/apologies.here >> Worm battleships << Battleships, but with worms. Yup. That's about it. But we like Battleships. It's like Counterstrike, but with a very slow graphics card. http://snipurl.com/46lg >> Chav-bashing forums << Poor people - ever worry that the internet will become a middle-class enclave? See what they're saying behind your back - and reply. Some interesting stuff, actually, and worth a read. http://snipurl.com/46lh >> Horsey jingle - hard to avoid << Do you love horses? We do now, after listening to this tune 1,000 million times. Hmm. We're about due to love horses some more now. http://www.deagostini.co.uk/ilovehorses/ >> Cutting-edge watch: 1983 << The power of a personal computer, but in a wristwatch. Madness, you say? No - just feast your eyes on this remarkable folly of the eighties. A wrist-sized white elephant. http://cdecas.free.fr/computers/pocket/uc2000.php >> 28-hour day << Doesn't sound very appealing, until you get to the part about abolishing Mondays. A 28-hour day could be a more modern and efficient use of time. On the other hand, it might kill you. So, ideally, we'd like someone to test it for us. http://www.dbeat.com/28/ ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH Panda babies Fact: They don't have thumbs. Fact: The Chinese call them "Giant Cat Bears." Fact: Baby pandas are cute. http://www.liu.edu/cwis/cwp/library/exhibits/panda... BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2 Cows, Pants, Misheard Lyrics & Jelly Porn >> Cow! Cube! Cowuuuuube! << Cows - they don't tesselate very well. Joel Veitch has the ideal solution. Watch the Zoology Dragon and learn. http://www.rathergood.com/zoology/ >> Pants in a can << Phiblo and Adny would like you to buy some pants in a can. What can we say? The ad sold it to us, but the actual merchandise looked a bit dodgy. Bit like Ferrero Rocher. http://www.imstupid.co.uk/twistedmindz/jeffrypants... >> Misheard lyrics animation << "Hey, I'm 14," writes Pmh_rmhax. We immediately thought his work would be shit. But it isn't. It's good. See: http://www.grimmoire.com/flash/bootilicious.swf >> Jelly wrestling << Kourosism writes, "We, um, borrowed a paddling pool from Homebase, and a ton of jelly, and set up in the back garden. This video was the result." It all looks like fun, but we'd like to have seen the custard shot. http://www.angelfire.com/space/usenet/images/Movie... ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Inanimate Sex Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted inanimate objects going at it some: http://b3ta.com/challenge/inanimatesex/ We asked B3ta boarder 'Sick Boy' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. Sick Boy writes - #1 "Café latte - While most of the entries involved shameless humping (not that this is in any way a bad thing) this one stood out for its subtlety. The spoon relaxing the second it finishes made me giggle too. (Fragger) http://b3ta.com/board/2669075 #2 "Hard Core Bakery Action - The facial expressions make this one. You can't help but smile along with them! (Razor) http://b3ta.com/board/2668650 #3 "Scissoring hot action - Good imagination shown here, I will never be able to look at scissors in the same way again. This also reminded me of a special interest Danish language film I once saw." (baroo_the_cat) http://b3ta.com/board/2682997 "Special mention has to go to E.Parsley for managing to get seven (count them, seven) innuendoes in the one picture. I doff my cap to you sir!" http://b3ta.com/board/2674399 >> This Week's Challenge << This week, b3ta contributor Supermoore gave us the suggestion, "Daily Mail World" http://b3ta.com/challenge/dailymailworld/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * B3TA PARTY RAFFLE - we've had loads of stuff sent in already. Get in touch with [email protected] if you'd like to contribute. Oh, and damning heck, make sure you come to the party on the 13th of February. http://www2.b3ta.com/party/valentine.gif * BULLETS WITH OUR NAMES ON - we asked for this a few weeks back. We didn't expect people to get in touch with an offer. Be careful what you wish for, kids. * WES CHERRY INTERVIEW SLASHDOTTED - we love Slashdot, it's where proper nerds hang out complaining, "Even a child of ten should be able to write standards compliant XML" and "This Speak & Spell doesn't support Ogg Vorbis. The fools will crumble without my business." Anyway, we're proud to get a mention. http://games.slashdot.org/games/04/01/29/0542251.s... ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * WHATS-THAT-SONG-ABOUT.COM - someone sent us a Tori Amos CD the other day. Frankly she's as mad as badgers. Lyrics like "Father, I killed my monkey" beggar belief. Anyway, we think a nice community site dedicated to finding the definitive explanations of song lyrics would be both useful, interesting and a big gay web hit. Get on it people. * FREE B3TA SEARCH - our site now has over 3 million pages on it. Fuck. Does anybody work for a search engine company that would be prepared to write us a custom engine in exchange for a link going "powered by monkeysearch?" * A LITTLE NOTE - from the government that makes us director-generals of the BBC. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Rob T Firefly, KevanW, Felix / Blackspike, Andye / Bizarrecreations, Ben Braine, Paul Pollock, Geoff / Tabbron, Matthew Boxall and Emily Hodgkinson Top Tippery by Rogan. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the kvetching b4ta rabbis. (73883) ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: If your fridge breaks down you can sometimes fix it by leaving it upside down overnight. (When the motor stops pumping the coolant around, leaving it upside down resettles it and it sometimes starts working again. Sometimes.) next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive