we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 114: "BADGERS ARE BACK" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * WEEBL - Return of the badger * GAME - Abbey Road massacre * WAXING - Bloke waxes leg * B3TA RADIO - Worst records in the world ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Abbey Road massacre << They are the Beatles. You are a CIA sniper. Can you gun down the hippie freaks before they reach the safety of Abbey Road Studio? Sargant provides a nice twist to the end of the tale. http://sargant.com/b3ta/abbey.html >> Lord of the badgers << Inspired to a creative frenzy by the upcoming release of Lord of the Rings, Jonti has made a remix of his classic badger animation with a Middle Earthian twist. Check out the CGI on this: (Warning. Huge download.) http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/25/ >> "I waxed my leg" << Sam Beddoes disbelieved his girlfriends when they told him how painful feminine beauty treatments are. "I decided to wax my leg, to see if women are pussys," he writes. "They are." Next week, Sam will be showing how piss-easy childbirth is. What do we need girls for, anyway? http://www.magiver.co.uk/mixes/missions/2.htm >> Fly cartoon << "If badgers were the new 'kittens' then flies are the new 'badgers'. Ahem." Such are the inflated claims of David Stuarthomfray. But, surprisingly, he proves them good, with this charming animated tale, featuring cute little flies. Yes, you did did read that right. http://david.stuarthomfray.co.uk/playback_DFG.html >> Hamlet: The text adventure << Robin Johnson's mind has been very much on the past of late. To this end, he has created an old-school, text-based computer game, based on Shakespeare's Hamlet. This may very well be the way the Elizabethans themselves experienced The Immortal Bard, on their primitive 386-based PCs. http://www.robinjohnson.f9.co.uk/adventure/hamlet.... >> George in my pocket << "We've got a bloke at work called George," writes 13 Floors Up. "In times of stress or when he's had too much coffee/sugar he comes out with all sorts of weird phrases, so I knocked up a soundboard." This little flash toy really doesn't do an awful lot, but the rich weirdness of the catchphrases compensates. We think 'Humdy Bumdy Gumdy' could really catch on. http://www.airshows.co.uk/gip.swf >> Kill Bill Gates << Film parodies and attacks on Bill Gates are two-a-penny. This has something extra. "It's not big or clever," writes creator Dirge Anchor. But it is deeply odd and boasts its own unique visual style. Woo. http://www.killbillgates.com/ >> Alphabet toy << Oddly pleasing, letter-chanting flash toy. There's not much to it, but what there is sure is pretty. Made by the evocatively-named Nipplecat. http://www.nipplecat.com/shockwave/alphanoise/alph... ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA RADIO Worst records in the world On this week's B3ta radio we're playing the records you hate. We've had 100s of nominations. Our favourite comes from Mystery Bob who writes: "I borrow my sister's car a lot, but it has no CD player in it, therefore I tend to listen to whatever is on the Radio - sometimes I sing along. "A couple of months ago while driving through Edinburgh - I stopped at a set of traffic lights and noticed a rather attractive girl walking along the pavement, looking directly at me. "At first I thought, 'Woo - my animal magnetism is drawing her to me", then I realised I was singing rather loudly to 'More than Words' by Extreme. She was simply looking at me with pity and disgust. "I hate that song now." Read them all. It'll take you a couple of hours. http://www.b3ta.com/questions/worstrecordever/ Or learn more about B3ta Radio and how to tune in: http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Find the tea << MC Pitman is, ostensibly, a foul-mouthed rapping miner, partial to tea and biscuits. This game from his website is a visual treasure hunt: Can you find the tea in a huge montage of peculiar imagery, under the surreal heckling of the man himself? To be honest, we couldn't. http://www.pitmanworld.com/pitgame.html >> How's my lezzing? << A serious and learned academic discussion on the portrayal of Sapphic Love in the mass media. Not what this is. But we found it interesting anyway. For some strange reason. http://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/lesbians1.... >> Not all Americans are stupid << A genius idea this: Declare your nationality and answer various multiple choice general knowledge questions. At the end you're told how well you did and shown the statistics of US vs. the Rest of the World. It's worth noting, however, that Americans are now marginally behind in the results. Go destroy some national stereotypes. http://www.netcartoon.net/naaas/quiz.html >> Circumcision DIY << Old, classic, revolting, probably untrue. Utterly compelling. Gregory Bernath describes how he decided to save money on doctors' fees by removing hs own foreskin. With scissors. http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/torkyarkisto/circum... >> Massive photograph << Max Lyons big pictures. He makes huge images by stitching together shots from his digital camera. He's just excelled himself, creating a 1.09 billion pixel photo of Bryce Canyon, US. It's possibly the biggest photographic image in the world and would make a smashing desktop wallpaper, too. Trouble is, your monitor would have to be about 47ft x 31ft to display it full-size. http://www.tawbaware.com/maxlyons/gigapixel.htm >> Stalin: Father of Photoshopping << We didn't used to have much time for Stalin. His dodgy facial hair was no match for Hitler, or John McCrirrick. But this museum feature shows the tyrant to have an admirably adroit touch with photographic fakery. His enemies, and former friends, simply vanish from photos as if they had never been. http://www.newseum.org/berlinwall/commissar_vanish... ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Drugs Do Work Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted to see the world on drugs: http://b3ta.com/challenge/drugs/ We asked B3ta boarder 'ChaosTime' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. ChaosTime writes - #1 "Always Coca Cola - This was by far the most clever entry to the competition. Also, it's hilarious, so it wins on two accounts! (bluecorvet) http://b3ta.com/board/2413010 #2 "Hallucinogenics! The way of future warfare! - If warfare was really like this I'd sign up tomorrow. But the question is: would syringes be standard issue? (Razor) http://b3ta.com/board/2427913 #3 "One more meme to strike off the list - This one made me laugh like a loon. Poor Weebl, he really looks like he needs his hit soon." (ac-x) http://b3ta.com/board/2419161 "A special mention for gratuitous use of Domo-kun in full Rage mode must go to the appropriately named 'kid special':" http://b3ta.com/board/2409457 >> This Week's Challenge << This week, B3ta contributor GlobaModule gave us the suggestion, "Gangstas in da hood" http://b3ta.com/challenge/gangster/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * LITTLE MEW - regular contributor Brian Mung has been contacted by Nickelodeon over his character Little Mew. "They've commissioned 5 festive shorts for their Nick Jr channel," he tells us. Well done, Brian! http://www.brianmung.com/ * BRUMMIE OF THE YEAR - The 'Birmingham - It's Not Shit' campaign, featured in these pages some months past, has stepped up its PR blitz with a glitzy awards ceremony. Down a boozer, in Birmingham. Who will be Brummie of the Year - Carrott, Ozzie or, er, Laurence from Felt? Cast your vote now: http://www.birminghamitsnotshit.co.uk/vote ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * GIANT WALKING ROBOT LEGS - are you a mad science genius? We'd like to see your real world projects. * NEW B3TA RADIO JINGLES - send us your 10 second MP3s. * QUIZZES - we haven't seen any good quizzes for a while. No we don't want "What character from Grange Hill are you" crap. We want look fresh stuff. Think about stuff that genuinely interests you and your mates. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Paul, +3 post of stabbityness, Toby W, een, rob horsefield and Wetzel Top Tippery by Penile Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the scuttling b4ta skinks. (72394) ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Don't want to waste your money on ice-cube trays? Use the 'tray' from a box of selection chocs like Milk Tray. Woo, chocolate shaped ice cubes and a handy throw-away tray! next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive