we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 104: "HITLER OR SHITLER. CAN YOU TELL?" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * QUIZ - Hitler or shitler? * PHOTOS - Tranny grandad * ANIM - Lemur simulator ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Hitler or Shitler << Quiz time. Can you tell the real führer from the imposters? "Really it's just an excuse to see which actors have Hitlered it up for the camera," confesses Dr A. http://ashen.users.btopenworld.com/fof/fof.htm >> Lemur simulator << "The sound of the lemur in the wild is 'blah blah blah'" claims a wildeyed oCo. The proof, he says, is here: http://www.oco-is-here.com/lemurama/flash/lemur_bl... >> Shaolin student sandwich << Slagmaster and his friend Liam have made a sandwich. This charming video showcases their culinary and martial arts prowess. Hooray for student kitchens. http://makeashorterlink.com/ >> Weebl Monkey song << Jonti has made one of the best Weebl and Bobs in a while. It features a posh singing monkey. You'll be singing the lovely catchy tune all afternoon. http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/anywhere.htm ------------------------------------------------- : THE HUMAN ZOO People we'd like you to meet >> Tranny Grandad << Trousers are evil. This man knows the score. And - like us - he chooses to show his disdain in an array of fetching skirts. http://albums.imff.net/hamish >> Singing boxer lady << Yeke Yeke is a woman of many talents. She sings. She boxes. She sings while she boxes. She's a TV human interest story waiting to happen. (We recommend clicking the first video link, it gets good about a minute in.) http://www.hcbx.com/yeke/downloads.asp ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2 >> New City Creator << Lovely flame-haired Denise Wilton has been busy crafting a medieval theme for her and Cal's city construction site. Go play - it's pretty. http://www.citycreator.com/build.city >> Sympathy implants << "Do you have the impression that the disasters of the world do not touch you anymore?" asks Unbehagen. "WiFi-SM is the solution!" http://www.unbehagen.com/wifism >> Lego cheese << Buxton writes, "Sorry guys, but that Ween cheese animation was pretty poor. Here's one I made later." We almost hate to say it, but this is very good. http://www.paprikash.com/chris/cheese.avi >> International Pirate Day << It's nearly time for this year's International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Come September the 19th you should finish all your sentences with "Yarr!" The official UK HQ is run by boarders Tedious, Mushroom and Mictoboy http://www.yarr.org.uk/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA HALLOWEEN PARTY 31st October 2003, London. Not only are we great links delivered every Friday, we're also your friend, your drinking thirsty boozy friend. Come to our party and get rat-arsed with us. http://www2.b3ta.com/party/halloween2003.gif ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Am I hotter than Hitler? << Nazi uniforms are always a hit with the ladies, but facial hair perhaps not. A guy stuck his own picture and Adolf Hitler's onto Amihotornot and compared the results. Very revealing. http://www.space-ninja.com/hitler/ >> GW Bush 'made of arse' - official << We all remember Photomosaics, things like Bob Marley made of thousands of spliff pics. Well, this one is the US president made out of anus. Next week - Bin Laden made of cunts. http://www.artofresistance.org/bush_mosaic/ >> Gravedar << Imagine a fantastic future where you can read gravestones with your Palm Pilot. That future is now. Rejoice! Not compatible with PalmPC or gravestones '98. http://www.gowerconsultants.com/preras.htm >> So... do those knob-growing pills work? << This man has decided to systematically test the manufacturer's claims. So far the results are inconclusive. We can't tell whether this is a promotion or not. But hey - we liked reading it. http://thepill.blogs.com/ >> Stealth Disco << Guns and monkeys are the best things in life. But the third best thing is dancing frantically behind an unsuspecting colleague or friend. http://69.49.199.91/best_of.asp >> Pole-dancing bloke << We enjoyed reading this story of a chap who fitted a pole-dancing pole in his own home. It was supposedly a present for his girlfriend but he wound up enjoying it more. http://www.mypole.co.uk/history.htm >> Big things. Yay. << Big things are great. So are little things. That's what our doctor told us. She's a lady, not a homosexual. This is a collection of huge Australian things. Strewth. http://www.alphalink.com.au/~richardb/page4.htm >> Mean-spirited cartoon corner << A quick gag. Gave us a laugh. Perhaps you too. http://www.shitflap.com/img/UVWXYZ/weekend.jpg >> R2D2 on the Lambert & Butler << Shocking footage from the 70s shows the dimunitive Star Wars droid indulging a habit for cancer sticks. Probably what stunted his growth. http://www.lucasfan.com/swtv/com4a.html >> Lesbo snogs will destroy America << We thought there was nothing left to say about the Madonna's publicity-seeking lezzer antics at that thing that she was at. But we were wrong. So wrong. http://www.livejournal.com/users/slithytove/235704... >> At home with Hitler << In 1938, Homes and Gardens magazine published a feature called "At home with Hitler," detailing his mountain retreat. Our mind boggles at the blandness of the copy. (And hey, that's our third Hitler link in one newsletter. This must be some kind of record.) http://wow.blogs.com/photos/hitler/h1.html >> Trippy tile toy << We've been contemplating suicide, but this has helped us prolong the agony of life on earth with its beguiling combination of art and special maths. http://www.scienceu.com/geometry/handson/kali/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from Viking Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted pictures of Vikings because they are deeply cool: http://b3ta.com/challenge/vikings/ We asked b3ta boarder Lora to judge the entries - here are her 3 faves. Lora writes - #1 "Don't be fooled - the look on the cat's face was almost enough for me, but the attention to detail makes this hard to resist." (Dr Phil Womble-Kitten) http://b3ta.com/board/1919634 #2 "Untitled - one of several by this contributor and I think it's wonderful." (The_Kaiser) http://b3ta.com/board/1935027 #3 "Moooo - Just plain lovely. It's simple but beautifully executed." (Electech) http://b3ta.com/board/1929376 "Can I have the almost obligatory special mention too? This musical epic by popt_art is fantastic." http://www.apxe15.dsl.pipex.com/babs.html >> This Week's Challenge << This week, b3ta contributor Darryn.R gave us the suggestion, "'shop the Police" http://b3ta.com/challenge/police/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * BADGER WORLD DOMINATION - everywhere we've looked this week has been linking to Jonti's badger animation: Forums have been filled with "badger badger badger badger" threads and fan art has been made in abundance. Buy the cash-in t-shirts and CDs here: http://www.cafeshops.com/weeblbadger,weeblbadger2 * BOOMSELECTION NIGHT - long term newsletter readers will remember The_Dr with his once regular MP3 bootleg reviews. He writes, "I'm running the first BOOMSELECTION club night this Tuesday as part of the music industry conference In The City. Please come." http://boomselection.info/boomselection-flyer-big.... ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * SEXIMOS - We've been hearing big things about Eskimo porn. (Ladies rubbing noses with seals and fucking blubber.) We can't find it. Can you? * GAMES - you lot have been slack recently. We've had lots of animation, but we would really like to see your games. * CRANK CALLS - are you receiving crank phone calls? Are they funny? Please record them, put them online and send a link to us. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. Every last bloody link. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Kathryn Drumm, seekew, retard/luffwhores, SirSandGoblin, *not logged in*, The Boy T, foetalyouth, Burvs, iron5ide, Fergus McVey, acidbathed and Jamspoon. Top Tippery from Moz. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the S.S. b4ta bitches. (69826) ------------------------------------------------- HANDY TIP: If you're standing a bit too far away from your car and you want to lock/unlock the doors with your "fob", simply press the end of the fob into your chin and press the button. You'll turn your body into a huge antenna and increase the range of the fob to hopefully unlock your doors. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive