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   NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 10: THE CELEBRITY ISSUE
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 This Week:
  - Freaks
  - Tossers
  - Porn
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 B3ta Issue 10 - 21 Sept 2001 - THE CELEBRITY ISSUE
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   Like a stupid joke, news of an odd site spreads
   like syphilis. No-one knows where jokes come from
   and these sites seem to spring from nowhere.
   But if the site creator turns the spotlight on
   themselves then they in turn can become
   celebrities. Sort of.
   The original - but not necessarily the best -
   example of this phenomenon was Mahir - the
   'I kiss you' Turk who wanted laydeez to 'visit'
   him. Nice.
   And Mahir isn't the only one - B3ta gives you
   THE top 10 celebs of the web.
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 : TOP TEN WEB CELEBS
   In no particular order.
 @ 10: Kevvi - Ugly boy model
    With a body of pudding, and the face of a
    slack-jawed moron, Kevvi is revolting to
    behold.
    His site purports to sell photos and videos for
    your enjoyment.
    In fact it's a piss-take of a REAL model's site
    - a 16-year-old girl called Stephi - and now
    Kevvi is claiming harassment from the owners
    of Stephi's site.
    We like Kevvi - he mings and he's causing
    trouble.
    Kevvi - click for 'free' photos
    http://www.kevvimodel.com/
    Stephi (16? she looks 30)
    http://www.stephimodel.com
 @ 9: Y2khai - For real?
     This wannabe Asian hip hop star is actually a
     marketing experiment from three dot-com
     lay-offs from WireBreak Entertainment.
     (BTW: Y2khai calls himself "One loc'd out
     asian" - loc is slang for loco, i.e. mad - or
     on drugs.)
     Aye.
    
     http://www.y2khai.com/
 @ 8: Freaky Muscled Child
     Nine-year-old bodybuilder Richard Sandrak looks
     like girl stuffed with walnuts.
     Despite this - his fame has escaped the net
     ghetto, and he's currently working on a movie
     version of Tarzan.
     It's child abuse:
     http://www.richardsandrak.com/
 @ 7: Jesus - likes a soapy tit wank
    He wants you to join his bath. Don't ask why.
    His offer hasn't been very popular - only one
    woman has taken him up. And she was ugly.
   
    Wash your sins away:
    http://www.jesus.com/
 @ 6: Peter Pan - he's a middle aged man
    Randy Constan is 47 year old man who wears
    tights and closely identifies with Peter Pan.
    He put up his site to "find his Tinkerbell."
    It worked - some bird out there was dumb enough
    to fall for his rubbish.
    (BTW: In the movie - Hook - Julia Roberts had
    an assistant whose  only responsibility was
    cleaning her feet.)
    http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/
 @ 5: Alex Chiu - Your money or your life
    Alex offers eternal life in exchange for money.
    Well - in fact - he offers a magnetic ring which
    he promises will bring you a life ever-lasting -
    and at $25 per ring - it is a good deal.
    Kiss his ring and count the cash:
    http://www.alexchiu.com
 @ 4: Mahir - Squeeze his box
    We already know he wants to kiss you but did you
    know that Mahir Cagri was set up by a friend - 
    who designed the page featuring Mahir paying an
    accordion and wearing  red speedos  - as a joke.    Ha ha.
    A few million email forwards later, and Mahir
    was touring America with a novelty single.
    Poor old chap - he's gone from obscurity back to
    obscurity quicker than Bubble from Big Brother.
   
 @ 3: Kok Wee - Man Utd Fan
    Kok Wee (Cock Wee?) loves football, badly
    animated graphics, and Liz Hurley.
    His site proved so popular, that the corporate
    portal football365 have signed him up as a
    columnist - and thankfully they've kept his
    'unique' spelling.
    Site
    http://www.geocities.com/kokweeuk/manutd.html
    365 Column
    http://football365.com/You_Say_We_say/Kok_Kwee
 @ 2: Wo-Hen Nankan - Prince of ponces
    He looks like a lady boy with who forgot to
    shave, and describes himself as a "Genius of
    Asian Rock".
    Too bad he's a fake, with Wo Hen Nankan
    meaning "I'm really ugly" in Chinese.
    Love you long time, 10 dollars.
    http://www.geocities.com/asianprince213/
 @ 1: Danni Ashe - look at her gash
    The Guinness Book of Records proclaim Danni as
    the web's most downloaded woman.
    She celebrated her billionth download, on
    December 5th last year.
    She's giving you what you want, you filthy
    little bastards.
    Read an interview:
    http://www.ainews.com/danni_ashe.phtml
    Have a wank:
    http://www.danni.com/
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 : ARE YOU A WEB CELEB?
   Then b3ta wants to hear from you. Go on, don't
   be shy - send your site to [email protected]
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 : THANKS
   Lucy - cheap jokes
   Fraser - http://www.blogjam.com/

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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
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