SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN: THE RECKONING AT THE RUSTY PELICAN ======================================================= Published: December 15, 2024 Author: Daniel Conderman Context: Recovered Conderman.Group Smack Talk Showdown event story Original URL: https://conderman.group/2024/12/smack-talk-showdown-dec-14th-live-from-the-rusty-pelican/ Archival note: This December 14 live-show story is distinct from the later "Midweek Mayhem" recap elsewhere in this section. GRANNY LAYS DOWN THE LAW ------------------------ Granny enters the Rusty Pelican in a floral apron and combat boots, rolling pin in one hand and microphone in the other. She chastises the roster for turning Sunday supper into "WrestleMania meets a cryptid convention." Bungston owes Joe Joe an apology over WienerCoin, Ann damaged a casserole dish, and Hank had better keep his boots off her table. Tonight, scores will be settled in the ring. The Rusty Pelican is officially on notice. THE SAUSAGE AND THE CLOCK ------------------------- Joe Joe Sausage Head faces Tik-Tok Timmy while Bungston watches with his briefcase of dubious crypto coins. Timmy freezes the referee using a time-warping phone. Joe Joe rallies with the Sausage Splash, but Bungston distracts him with the stolen WienerCoins. Timmy's phone becomes a pocket watch; he hits the Clock Drop and wins. During the celebration, the device changes into an 8mm projector and casts the Timekeeper's mark on the bar's wall. Even Timmy is frightened and runs. SHADOWS OF THE TIMEKEEPER ------------------------- Backstage, Luscious Locks finds an ornate clock whose hands move backward. Her braids glow with Aelorian energy as the Timekeeper whispers that she is not free and that her victories belong to him. Luscious refuses to be controlled. The clock shatters into smoldering gears; she pockets one marked with glowing symbols and returns to the ring, no longer afraid of the dark. THE BATTLE FOR HOLIDAY SPIRIT ----------------------------- Santa Claws meets Busted Barbra, Drippy McGee, and FUPA Fumpa -- the Triad of Oddities. FUPA traps Santa in the Tummy Net while Drippy slicks the mat and Barbra charges like a freight train. Santa escapes and launches the Ho-Ho-Hammer to win. Then Aelorian runes glow beneath his feet. The defeated Triad laugh as they leave. Granny grips her rolling pin while PeeWee promises the Tech Kids will find an explanation. PROJECT TIMEKEEPER ------------------ The Commish praises PeeWee and the Tech Kids for investigating the runes and announces Project Timekeeper, a league-wide effort needing theories from the audience. He teases the Clash of Clocks, where the Aeloria Effect may speed up time, slow it down, or make the ring itself interfere. ANN VON CHOVIE'S DEFIANCE ------------------------- Ann faces Bungston Big Bucks. Bungston thumbs her eye behind the referee's back and later tries to bribe the official. Joe Joe rushes in and steals his briefcase; while Bungston lunges after it, Ann rolls him up for the pin. She then declares that she is done being overlooked and puts Intercontinental Champion the Enigma Phoenix on notice. A BATTLE FOR GLORY ------------------ Hank challenges Phoenix for the Intercontinental Championship. Hank controls the early match with strength, but Phoenix counters with speed. Bungston slides in his briefcase; Hank tries to use it, misses, and nearly gets pinned. Phoenix counters the Babe Buster with a Flaming Wingsplash and retains. Ann storms in and demands her title match. Before Phoenix can answer, Aelorian runes appear. Time warps, the cheers become a distorted echo, and everyone freezes. When the lights stabilize, the ring is empty. THE TIMEKEEPER'S MESSAGE ------------------------ A metallic ticking fills the darkened bar. The Timekeeper declares that every second belongs to him and the league's defiance strengthens his grip. A clock face forms from Aelorian symbols, runs backward, and fractures into light. Fans leave beneath the flickering neon sign, trading theories. One question remains: What happens when the clock runs out?