SMACK TALK SHOWDOWN: CHAOS AT THE RUSTY PELICAN
================================================

Published: January 20, 2025
Author: Daniel Conderman
Context: Recovered Conderman.Group Smack Talk Showdown newsletter
Original URL: https://conderman.group/2025/01/%f0%9f%93%a3-smack-talk-showdown-newsletter-chaos-at-the-rusty-pelican-%f0%9f%93%a3/


MATCH RESULTS
-------------

Hank "The Babe" Williams defeats Rabbit Raw after demanding the truth about
Rabbit's allegiance. Rabbit then agrees to help investigate U.S. Type, while
insisting on a chance to prove himself as a contender.

Joe Joe Sausage Head and the Sausage Lady win by forfeit when Fuzzy Lumpkins
and Luscious Locks fail to appear. The Sausage Lady uses the moment to promise
justice and vows to wipe out Bungston Big Bucks.

In a no-holds-barred match filled with ladders and Bungston's Golden Briefcase
of Secrets, Crypto Crusher defeats Bungston with the Crypto K.O. Crypto then
claims to have a ledger full of answers and announces his own interest in the
mystery map.


NEW LEADS
---------

Rabbit's alliance gives Hank a useful but uncertain partner. After Bungston's
loss, papers spill from his briefcase; witnesses see coordinates written in
gold ink on one sheet. Fuzzy and Luscious remain missing, prompting the
Commish to promise an investigation and consequences.


THE NEXT CARD
-------------

Hank and Rabbit are scheduled to face Bungston and Crypto Crusher, a match in
which neither team is founded on much trust. Joe Joe will meet a wrestler
chosen by the Timekeeper, and Granny issues an open challenge to anyone willing
to help restore order.

The Commish closes by emphasizing that the search for WienerCoin, the marked
map, U.S. Type, and the Timekeeper is larger than any single wrestler.