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The Perfect Car for 2026

Tesla Cybertruck: Brought to you by watching Tom Segura deliver a watertight 20-minute guest spot at Helium, deciding that you can do it too, going up for an open mic with a flip book full of plagiarized Dan Soder material, and then getting booed offstage, but then out in the parking lot you smile and say "I really got a reaction."
Regular Car Reviews reviews the Cybertruck.
posted by postcommunism on Apr 14, 2026 at 7:15 AM

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The saddest thing about the cybertruck is this: Elon is never going to care what people think of him or his car - any emotion toward him, at all, is interpreted as good emotion. Any emotion toward a cybertruck is interpreted by the owners as: Hey! They noticed me!

It's a swastika reinterpreted as a car.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 7:36 AM

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I miss simpler times, when The Homer was just a laugh. No one would ever actually make such a monstrosity, right? RIGHT?
posted by mcstayinskool at 7:42 AM

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this content is well worth your time. i hate video content, but i don't hate this video content.
posted by logicpunk at 7:44 AM

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"The automotive equivalent of a YouTube thumbnail"

�
posted by uncleozzy at 7:44 AM

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every time i see one (which is, thankfully, rarely), the sole thought that runs through my head is, "where can i get a litre of hydrofluoric acid real quick?" thankfully for my carceral status i haven't come up with a practical answer to that yet
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:55 AM

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they are ugly as fuck, and nature's best birth control, but also you could not pay me to get in one. the only thing I fear more than death by fire is death by fire trapped in a small space.
posted by supermedusa at 8:03 AM

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Just an FYI: there's a chemical that jewelry-makers use to darken silver and other precious metals, causing a chemical reaction which turns the metal black. It's not a paint or a coating, it chemically bonds to the metal and usually can only be removed through abrasion.

JAX Blackener is a common product, and although it says it won't patina stainless steel, my kitchen sink tells otherwise.

Also Supersoakers are on sale.

Use this information as you will.

Edit: ooh, they have a specific Stainless Steel blackener!
posted by AzraelBrown at 8:03 AM

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Last weekend I saw an anti-elon sticker and a 'Legacy Tesla - Before He Went Crazy' sticker... on an olive drab cybertruck. It was the most hilarious display of cognitive dissonance I'd seen in at least a few days.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:04 AM

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A funny thing to witness is standing at a No Kings Protest and a Cybertruck gets stuck at the traffic light directly across from the protest and everyone starts chanting "LOSER" and the extremely divorced looking guy driving it gets so red-assed mad that spit is flying out of his mouth as he's screaming back at the crowd "YOU'RE JEALOUS YOU'RE JEALOUS OF ME"
posted by saladin at 8:06 AM

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Speaking of Elmo -- episode S1E4 of ST:Discovery, which we are just starting to watch, canonizes him among a list of actual brain-havers mere seconds before one of the most egregious acts of "Character Acts Stupid Because of Plot Reasons" I have seen in media in years. And it's not like two minutes of research in 2016 wouldn't have revealed Elmo was a narcissistic blowhard failing upwards on generational wealth. The whole thing has made me quite angry with the show. I am hoping it's the biggest stumble in an otherwise pretty good start.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:10 AM

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Before He Went Crazy

I get the feeling that's sort of like "The Good Old Days" - they never actually existed. "Before we were aware of his craziness" is probably closer to reality.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:10 AM

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I got as far as 1:13 before doubling over unprofessionally with laughter. Saving this for when I'm not in the office.
posted by gauche at 8:25 AM

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I am somewhat religious. While visiting Manhattan a few months ago, near Chinatown, I saw a Cybertruck. Parked in front of a hydrant. No one was pointing or laughing. I looked up at the sky briefly and said "what the hell is going on down here??"
posted by Melismata at 8:33 AM

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Elon is never going to care what people think of him

Sorry, I think even the most casual of Elon watchers can see this is not true. So many examples I could list of his responses anything challenging his vanity, but I'll just reference Eleanor Morton (I think it was) who remarked after he bought Twitter: "I've never seen anyone so desperate to be told they are witty & funny. And all my friends are professional comedians."

I get the feeling that's sort of like "The Good Old Days" - they never actually existed. "Before we were aware of his craziness" is probably closer to reality.

Basically, though in earlier times when he was more likely to repeat what engineers at Tesla or SpaceX were telling him to say (even as he gave himself credit.) For the last decade plus we've seen a lot more of his actual "original" "thought" laid out before us, which is remarkably often just tropes from 1970s science fiction.
posted by mark k at 8:35 AM

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This is basically "Enterprise D Warp Core + Ambient Engine Noise 12 Hours" but for sarcastic, blistering rage. I love it.

So many good lines, but "you don't really coast in a Cybertruck, you doomscroll" is a banger.
posted by phooky at 8:53 AM

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Goodness! My sides are hurting from the absolutely relentless onslaught of hilariously justified snark in this piece. I knew that abomination of a "truck" was just a horrible disaster, but the litany of idiotic design decisions and downright incompetent manufacturing on display here is simply breath-taking.

This is the kind of auto review one would expect from the love-child of Hunter Thompson and Joan Rivers.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 9:04 AM

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I can't wait for this one! I'm saving it to watch with my wife who also loves RCR.
posted by rickw at 9:09 AM

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oh man. it's good all the way through but just before the 13-minute mark it's like they find an even higher gear.

"all that mass is distributed awkwardly, like a misshapen toolbox, which would have been a good alternative name for this, for a variety of reasons." and then it really gets going...
posted by martin q blank at 9:22 AM

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I've been a huge fan of Brian & Roman ever since organically happening upon an old review they did of the first car I ever owned. I don't know what Roman was doing before this, but Brian started his career as an English teacher and it shows.

Here are a few of my favorites from their archives:

posted by neuracnu at 9:33 AM

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episode S1E4 of ST:Discovery, which we are just starting to watch, canonizes him among a list of actual brain-havers

I agree that this line hasn't aged well at all (even with certain plot reveals that happen later), but at the very least they were in good company with plenty of other pop culture media like Iron Man 2, The Simpsons or South Park that had been wedging in actual Musk cameos for years before that episode was written and shot in early 2017. There were definitely indications at that point that Musk was not even most of what his decade-long PR campaign had cracked him up to be, but I don't expect TV writers to be as up on this stuff as the tech journalists covering him.

IIRC, the last time that something Musk did was met with unanimous acclaim from the mainstream media was when he launched a Tesla into space in February 2018, which I remember being covered in pretty breathless terms. It was only a few months later (June 2018) that he tried to barge in on the Thai underwater cave rescue with his dumb "mini-sub" and called the British diver who actually saved the kids a "pedo-guy." Which is about when I noticed a gradual turn in how those same outlets (and people in general) regarded Musk.
posted by Strange Interlude at 9:39 AM

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The few people I know who own a Cybertruck absolutely adore them for their comfort, efficiency and usefulness and are so sad they have become a symbol of suck.
posted by bz at 9:50 AM

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Elon is never going to care what people think of him

No, Elon wants you to think he doesn't care what people think of him. In reality, he's obsessed with it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:53 AM

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I get the feeling that's sort of like "The Good Old Days" - they never actually existed. "Before we were aware of his craziness" is probably closer to reality.


I don't think he was ever good but I do he'd have stayed more in the range of average CEO without Twitter, similar to how many people might have been susceptible to drug or alcohol addiction but grew up in a culture where those things weren't global commodities. He's been locked in a loop for a long time where he has a constant stream of people sucking up and applauding every hot take, and he's handled it worse than most. A lot of the modern era seems to trace back to Gamergate and his self-identification as a gamer seemed to contribute: normally people who get negative responses back off but when you have a community dismissing out-group criticism like that they can double down instead.
posted by adamsc at 10:03 AM

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"Fisher-Price brutalism" is a keeper
posted by chavenet at 10:08 AM

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I am reading this at the moment: "Elon Musk: American Oligarch" by Darryl Cunningham

it is **not** required reading, and I do not think it's a particularly adept meld of text, research, and illustration. I place Joe Sacco up there for someone doing very good things in this space, at the moment.

but it's fine. I was not aware of the death of his first child, with Justine Wilson (first wife) and it sounds like he just didn't deal with it period. I think the man is emotionally stunted but he is also fantastically wealthy and the combination is monstrous
posted by runsrealgood at 10:12 AM

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bz: "The few people I know who own a Cybertruck absolutely adore them for their comfort, efficiency and usefulness and are so sad they have become a symbol of suck."

Comfort - while not actively on fire, maybe sure. Efficiency? Usefulness???????? They were always a symbol of suck. No one ever needed to reinvent the car, particularly while ignoring all the safety standards written in blood to do so. It's a foolish purchase and has always been.
posted by tiny frying pan at 10:22 AM

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Previously on Metafilter... the PT Cruiser review was how I learned of Regular Car Reviews, nearly 10 years(!) ago.
posted by Headfullofair at 10:26 AM

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No one ever needed to reinvent the car, particularly while ignoring all the safety standards written in blood to do so. It's a foolish purchase and has always been.

I believe a Cybertruck has a lower hood and better visibility than the #1, #2, #3 selling vehicles in the US - the Dodge Ram, Chevy Silverado, and Ford F150 - all pickup trucks, with a standard high ride height and hood topping 5 ft off the ground. People have started begging for hood height regulations for full sized pickups in the US - this is also one of the things preventing full sales of them overseas.

The Cybertruck is more like a minivan from the front than a pickup.

The pillars and rear view limitations are also common across many different vehicles, not just pickups or electric cars.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:39 AM

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Oh no, those are not the safety regulations I'm talking about at all.
posted by tiny frying pan at 11:33 AM

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Cybertruck: The Car That Never Finished Rendering
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:38 AM

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Like, does a lower hood height vs. the competition matter that much when door handles don't work in an emergency? The kind of emergency where you're burning to death inside?

Someone even DROWNED in a Cybertruck cause they couldn't get out, WITH rescuers outside. Disgusting. All for Musk's vanity and hubris.
posted by tiny frying pan at 11:40 AM

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> "Fisher-Price brutalism" is a keeper

Cassette Futurism is the CARI category the Cybertruck fits in. Think of DeLoreans or the Aston Martin Bulldog, or the aesthetics of Air Wolf and consumer electronics in the 80s.

Back to the Future would have been popular when Musk was a teenager, just like Snow Crash (which originated the Metaverse concept) was popular when Zuckerberg was a teenager. They're all emotionally stunted college dropouts whose imaginations are limited to their adolescent scifi favorites. They are hollow people who only have what they managed to steal from others.
posted by AlSweigart at 11:48 AM

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I live in a blue county with a surprising number of Cybertrucks (okay, not so surprising, we also have a lot of rich assholes). Yes they are ugly vehicles but baffling thing to me is how many of these owners opt for some kind of vinyl wrap that makes them look even worse. Like, cheap, early-millennium mp3 player ugly.
posted by Eikonaut at 12:29 PM

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Like, does a lower hood height vs. the competition matter that much when door handles don't work in an emergency? The kind of emergency where you're burning to death inside?


Yes. The top of the hood of those other trucks is 5 feet and whatever metric equivalent. I know MANY MANY MANY children shorter than that. Which means that if any of those kids are in front of those trucks the driver can't see them. And the driver really can't see them unless they are something like 8 feet in front of the stupid big truck. Yeah, radar (or lidar in Tesla's case, I think?) or the other way around might prevent that. But that's a lot of blind space in front a truck that is so huge.

So yah, it does matter if the driver can see down some or not.
posted by Snowishberlin at 12:31 PM

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Rather than edit: I don't really care if someone buys or gets in a huge stupid truck, or Tesla, or whatever. That's their CHOICE. You get in a car that might not open? Your fucking problem. A kids walking across the street, or standing in front of your truck when you start it and hit the gas... not their fault.
posted by Snowishberlin at 12:34 PM

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Snowishberlin "So yah, it does matter if the driver can see down some or not."

I know all that already. It's still an odd response to a complaint about safety regulations written in blood with one thing they may be getting right while people burn to death. It reminds me of the AI discussions where people bring up suicides, environmental harms, etc, and the response is that computer coding is faster. Ok? What about the other obvious things Musk did wrong here that are SOLVED problems, like door handles that open without power and safety glass that can be broken by emergency responders? If it wasn't about something deadly I'd almost be amused.
posted by tiny frying pan at 12:42 PM

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There is a person working in my building who drives a Cybertruck.

I work at the VA.

I cannot get over just how oblivious you have to be to drive the shitty vehicle sold by the guy who spent most of 2024 trying to fire you and all your coworkers. And then having the gall to park it in the lot with an employee parking pass on the window.

Everyone I see walking by the thing either looks disgusted or looks like they are trying hard to resist the urge to vandalize it.
posted by caution live frogs at 12:42 PM

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Do they still immolate people on a regular basis
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 12:47 PM

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I'm nostalgic for the days when you had to buy a Hummer to be an asshole.
posted by DanSachs at 12:47 PM

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I know all that already. It's still an odd response to a complaint about safety regulations written in blood with one thing they may be getting right while people burn to death.

IMO people burning to death as your primary concern is odd. I mean, less than a dozen people have burned to death in Cybertrucks, about 7000 a year get killed by getting run over, an 80% increase since 2009, of which the lousy standards for hood height and design are a major contributing factor. But you care about what you want to care about.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:48 PM

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LOL ok you sure told me
posted by tiny frying pan at 12:56 PM

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I mean, less than a dozen people have burned to death in Cybertrucks

According to the Tsukahara's filing, their daughter survived the Nov. 27 crash and was fully conscious but unable to escape the vehicle because the Cybertruck lost power in the crash and its electronic door release system failed. She died from smoke inhalation and burns after would-be rescuers were unable to pull her and the other occupants from the truck.


I think that sounds horrific.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:25 PM

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That right there should make the Cybertruck illegal to operate on public roads anywhere in the world. Any vehicle that doesn't have 100% manual door handles on the interior so the occupants can get out in an emergency should be immediately thrown in the shredder.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:05 PM

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Cybertruck looks like the maker ran out of money while designing it and had to cut corners to finish it. It's not the kind of vehicle that a limitless budget and no rules should produce.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:58 PM

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I was going to wonder how much you'd have to hate yourself to drive a tesla, but tesla drivers don't have the capacity or self-awareness to hate themselves.
posted by maxwelton at 3:07 PM

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When I'm walking and one goes by I flip the double bird and keep the birds tracking it till it's out of sight. My brother says he knows a Black dude who has one and is really nice, but whatevs. If you have $70-100k to drop on a vehicle you've sailed up out of the "regular guy" zone.

Also, yes, the hood clearances of all the other trucks are stupid. A Ford Ranger from the 1980s is perfectly fine for most truck stuff. Hell, my best friend's dad was a deer hunter and just put them in the trunk of the Camry.
posted by caviar2d2 at 3:14 PM

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I had a friend who worked in parts supply - mostly paint - for the automotive industry, and the massive company he worked for didn't want to deal with Tesla as it was too small. Making the cybertruck bare metal certainly solved that problem (at the expense of all the other problems that bare metal has).

Although I wouldn't know, as I live in Europe where they are too lethal to drive, because they're a brick with wheels and no concession to the soft, squidgy humans who this car would hit.
posted by The River Ivel at 3:17 PM

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In my city I often see Teslas (including one cybertruck) with the "I bought this before we knew Elon was crazy" stickers. Then I remind myself of the publication date of the article Justine Musk wrote about their divorce (2010.) Then I remind myself what years Tesla cars became available (most models after 2012.)

There was no "before we knew" if you were paying attention.
posted by doift at 3:37 PM

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I don't really care if the people inside burn or not, but higher hoods have been shown to cause more harm to pedestrians when they're run into.
posted by signal at 3:47 PM

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The few people I know who own a Cybertruck
Make better friends.
posted by aspersioncast at 4:34 PM

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>> "The few people I know who own a Cybertruck absolutely adore them for their comfort, efficiency and usefulness and are so sad they have become a symbol of suck."

I can't speak to the cybertruck's comfort, but every tesla I've been in has been worse in terms of fit/finish, comfort, and ride quality compared to ICE and EV cars at the same or similar price point. Meanwhile, the efficiency of the Cybertruck is somewhere around 2-2.5 miles per kWh - which is beaten by the Ford F150 lightning and the Rivian R1T by a decent amount. And you can see out the back of those without sacrificing more efficiency. As for usefulness, most of the cybertrucks I see around me aren't hauling much of anything but a divorcee. Tons of cargo room in my ioniq5, better efficiency, as much all wheel drive capability as I need, and none of the suck. (please don't ask about the ICCU failure)
posted by onehalfjunco at 4:47 PM

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I cannot get over just how oblivious you have to be to drive the shitty vehicle sold by the guy who spent most of 2024 trying to fire you and all your coworkers.

I know someone who is extremely supportive and caring with their teenaged trans son, and absolutely loves their new high-spec Model X. Some folks take their compartmentalization seriously.
posted by tclark at 6:17 PM

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higher hoods have been shown to cause more harm to pedestrians when they're run into.

It's fear of being backed into (that pointy corner!) that has me giving those ugly trucks a wide berth.
posted by Rash at 7:51 PM

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I had to go back to watch that video again, as I was laughging so hard that I forgot 1/2 of the real zingers in there, and the Algorithm served me up this worthwhile link ...

20 of the STUPIDEST Car Features That Made Driving Worse
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 8:42 PM

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I don't hate the shape of the Cybertruck. Like the video says I like when designers do something interesting, but I don't withdraw that completely just for association with Musk. Electric door handles are awful though. Is there any upside to the steel body panels?
posted by fleacircus at 10:05 PM

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The one thing that I have to grant a lot of the cybertruck owners is they signed up before the depth of Elon's idiocy was fully realized. Back when the truck was first announced, Elon was just a rich jackass with a spiel that sounded pretty good. It wasn't until later that he became the Nazi sympathizer that everyone seems to conveniently gloss over. And by that time, most of the buyers had so much money and pride sunk into buying a cybertruck, they couldn't conveniently back out.

Of course, anyone who's bought one since Elon unmasked is just a goddamn Nazi loving bastard who really needs to rethink their life choices, because someday, God willing, that choice will come back to haunt them.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 10:10 PM

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The one thing that I have to grant a lot of the cybertruck owners is they signed up before the depth of Elon's idiocy was fully realized.

Not a single word of this is evenly slightly adjacent to truth.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 1:33 AM

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I was once saw a F-150 (maybe it was a Silverado) that had a backup camera installed in the front grill. I think about that every now and then.
posted by AlSweigart at 3:50 AM

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> The one thing that I have to grant a lot of the cybertruck owners is they signed up before the depth of Elon's idiocy was fully realized. Back when the truck was first announced, Elon was just a rich jackass with a spiel that sounded pretty good. It wasn't until later that he became the Nazi sympathizer that everyone seems to conveniently gloss over.

The Cybertruck logo has a KKK in it. I'm going to be quick to say that it was probably not deliberate when the logo was hastily scrawled out. But it's more significant that Tesla had a lot of time to come up with something that looked better and less sus, and clearly they were content with what they had, subtext 'n' all.

I don't think it's particularly novel to point out how fragmented the current media environment is, and how we can each spend our days deeply immersed in infotainment streams that pander to our biases. It's trivially easy to be insulated from knowing about Musk's biases and life choices. The human (or at least American human) impulse to pivot ones ignorance into another's fault is subsequently manifest by slapping a sticker on the bumper saying "I bought this before Musk went crazy", absolving themselves by the implication that it's the other guy's fault for not being sufficiently above-board about his monstrosity (rather than it being the other guy's fault for being a monster).

At the same time, the Cybertruck is a terrible design, proof that something that looks cool in a photo or at a toy's size does not necessarily scale up to reality without a great deal of adjustment. It's pointlessly immense, less functional (and provably less durable) than a thirty year old Toyota Hilux, and potentially less safe as well. Countries with functional regulators will not permit it on their roads -- making it explicit that they have evaluated the Cybertruck as being a more hazardous vehicle than the Reliant Robin and the Yugo. It's easily the worst vehicle currently manufactured. Why would anybody want one except out of Musk hero worship/speculator FOMO/trendiness among a certain social group? That's what I don't get.

> Is there any upside to the steel body panels?

Flat planes make fabrication cheap, and brushed steel eliminate the expensive and highly regulated painting process (because two-part polyester enamel is applied by generating a floating cloud of paint mist that body panels are trollied through -- and is also highly carcinogenic). Or are you asking about benefits to the user? In theory any tarnishing can be buffed out with medium-grade steel wool, but that's only true if the right grade of stainless is used... DeLorean did, but Tesla didn't.
posted by at by at 4:43 AM

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baffling thing to me is how many of these owners opt for some kind of vinyl wrap that makes them look even worse. Like, cheap, early-millennium mp3 player ugly.

Cheap, early-millennium mp3 player ugly is a statement. Relentlessly worsening corrosion marks on the wrong grade of brushed stainless steel is an admission of failure.
posted by flabdablet at 5:37 AM

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i could almost forgive a cybertruck dressed up in a Synthwave bodywrap, though.

I mean. Actually. The thing is perfect as an airbrush canvas. If I saw one that was entirely an air-brush homage to Miami Vice with beach scenes, sunsets, flamingos, palm trees, Don Johnson, Philip Michael Thomas, lounging women in three square inches of spandex, angry looking Cubans with chunky suits and big guns, minimalist concrete beach houses, glass tables with cocaine vials .... oh, and of course the "Ferrari" kit car ...

C'mon, that would be radical
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:46 AM

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The one thing that I have to grant a lot of the cybertruck owners is they signed up before the depth of Elon's idiocy was fully realized.

Ask ten different Tesla owners to pick the date when they found out about Elon and you'll get ten different answers but each of these answers will be sometime after that person's purchase of a Tesla.

Tesla's always been problematic. The original Tesla Roadster's whole deal was that you could have a douchy sports car that didn't make any compromises because it was electric. The whole brand has always been about shielding excess behind a fig leaf of environmentalism.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:53 AM

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That's true, but considering that the vehicle owners responsible for the greatest amounts of emissions are the same ones for whom excess is something they feel compelled to express, those are the folks you'd want to wean off ICE cars first from an environmental perspective.

If you can persuade a Hummer owner to drive an electric Hummer or Saddertruck instead, you've saved much more tailpipe emission than flipping a Corolla driver to a Prius.
posted by flabdablet at 6:42 AM

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My pet hypothesis is that Musk got really baked, and scrawled a drawing for the truck on a napkin, and gave that to the Tesla design team.
"Build this," he said, giggling helplessly.
"Err, yes, Mr Musk. We'll need to adapt it of course, but we can do something that conveys this general idea."
"No, it has to look exactly like this!"

He knew that they'd do what he told them, and he knew that his adoring supporters would line up to buy it. It's like the emperor's new clothes, but the emperor knows he's naked, and he's daring you to call him out on it.
posted by adamrice at 7:00 AM

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Tesla's always been problematic. The original Tesla Roadster's whole deal was that you could have a douchy sports car that didn't make any compromises because it was electric

That's not in the same neighborhood of bad as Musk is now to the point that it feels silly to mention it. As flabdablet says there's an argument it's good.
posted by atoxyl at 7:01 AM

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Ask ten different Tesla owners to pick the date when they found out about Elon and you'll get ten different answers but each of these answers will be sometime after that person's purchase of a Tesla.

Tesla is the #1 selling EV brand again this last quarter, passing BYD, and selling 358,000 cars worldwide. People have the memory of a goldfish and every other brand drastically curtailed their EV offerings.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:51 AM

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I was once saw a F-150 (maybe it was a Silverado) that had a backup camera installed in the front grill. I think about that every now and then.

When my car was in the shop, the only rental the dealership had available was a ginormous truck, so I drove that for a few days. It also had a front-facing camera.

It could be a significant mitigation if that were required, sort of like the back-up cameras are now. You'd need a separate screen and for it to always be on, otherwise people would turn it off so they could use the radio / entertainment center instead.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 7:53 AM

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It genuinely was Tesla that took EVs mainstream.

Before the Roadster, the canonical EV in most people's minds, if they even thought about EVs at all, was something like the G-Wiz: tiny, slow and monstrously unsafe on the highway. Only after JB Straubel worked out how to make a workable automotive traction battery from thousands of the same tiny lithium cells designed to power laptops and hand tools did absurd acceleration become the EV's unique selling point. The Roadster really was the first electric-only design that was genuinely, uncompromisingly cool.

That they built it around the particularly beautiful Lotus Elise didn't hurt either, and nor did the way the Roadster could out-accelerate the Elise even with its near doubling of the Elise's kerb weight.

The Cybertruck represents total abandonment of every design principle that made the Roadster as good as it was. Elon has described it as Tesla's best product ever, which really tells you all you need to know about Elon.
posted by flabdablet at 7:59 AM

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People have the memory of a goldfish and every other brand drastically curtailed their EV offerings.

I wonder how much the latter impacts who's in the 'top spot' though.

Musk's company delivered 358,023 EVs in the first three months of 2026 — a 6.5% increase over the same period last year.

I'm not sure how that jibes with this.

Tesla produced 50,363 more electric cars than it was able to sell in the first three months of 2026, even with a slight uptick in EV interest becoming apparent amid rising gas prices.

Every other car maker is 86ing their EVs, and then there's a massive surge in gas prices that could be pushing some people back to EVs. Dunno how much of this is people having the memory of a goldfish, and how much is 'pragmatism' in a market where there aren't a lot of EV options and gas is $5/gallon.

I'd love to see a Tesla without Musk. And by that I mean he's no longer even a shareholder, much less the owner. The company led by someone who actually knows what the fuck they're doing could be good for EVs in general. But I don't think that's likely to happen anytime soon. Maybe Musk will have an even bigger falling out with the orange one, and he gives BYD a foothold in the US out of spite.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 8:10 AM

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where there aren't a lot of EV options and gas is $5/gallon.
There are quite a few EV options. Most manufacturers don't segment specifically by EV, but here are some that are distinct models. A large number of cars are available as plug-in hybrids or full EVs, but sold under the same name as the gas model. These are US sales only, not worldwide.

50k sales range
Hyundai Ioniq EV
Mustang Mach E


RE: the Cybertruck: The Chevy Hummer EV sold 15,000 last year, and Cybertruck sold 20k.

Comparable sales:
Porche Maccan
Chevy Corvette
BMW 5 Series
Kia Niro
BMW X7
Mazda 3

Sold 10k less (ie: Hummer EV sales numbers):
BMW 2 series
Audi A5
Kia Ev9
Mini Cooper
Chevy Blazer EV
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:20 AM

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The Roadster really was the first electric-only design that was genuinely, uncompromisingly cool.

And look at how much impunity that earned Tesla and especially Musk. For years a lot of Tesla's questionable engineering and Musk's erratic behavior were dismissed because more EVs == better.

And it was that impunity that became a big part of Tesla's brand. It doesn't matter how selfish you are. Because you bought a Tesla, you're doing more than anyone who doesn't have an EV.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 8:33 AM

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There are quite a few EV options.

Perhaps I should have said "fewer." Many were recently discontinued. I would assume most of the ones that remain-- even the Teslas-- are selling better than they did last year simply because there are now fewer EV options than there were.

Well, that and gas being ~$5/gal. Anyone in the market right now is probably thinking harder about an EV than they otherwise would have. Including people who didn't previously own an EV, and are either unconcerned or actually agree with Musk's politics.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 8:47 AM

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Subaru is selling 3 new EVs this month in the US. The Uncharted (base model ~$35k with a ~70kwH battery), the Trailseeker (base ~44k or so, maybe a bigger battery), and some new 3rd-row SUV thing that I've only seen pictures of. So more is coming!

More to the point, though, it obviously takes a long time to design and produce a car. So regardless of gas prices these have been coming for a while. I sure hope the gas prices nudge people in the US back towards EVs. And, today I read that 7-11 or something similar is about to roll out charging stations to many many of its gas stations here.

Why they couldn't just make an electric Forester specifically to cater to my whims I don't know...
posted by Snowishberlin at 8:47 AM

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The big bummer for me in the US is that Europe and Asia get whole fleets of options for compact, efficient, and inexpensive EVs, while we in the US get nothing. Less than nothing, even. Never mind that we literally have zero small, affordable cars on the market in 2026 here even in internal-combustion/hybrid/PHEV form (sorry, NYT)—we briefly had the Smart Electric Drive, a few CA homologation electrics (Spark EV, Fiat 500e, e-Golf, etc), and the original Bolt was smallish, but right now? Nada. I was hopeful, for a hot second, that the later generation Fiat 500e would be around to be the EV replacement for my beloved, but worn-out Fiat 500non-e, but they imported a handful of boutique special editions and essentially closed up shop in our market.

Hell, Chevrolet accidentally made something brilliant with the Volt, but they're American, so they blew that, too. Wasn't as compact as I'd like, but an EV with a built-in charger designed like a diesel-electric locomotive with a rang that would cover most people's commute on electricity and fire up an engine for long trips was phenomenal, and I never knew, because GM is insanely incompetent at marketing when they have that rare moment of coming up with a good thing.

And when they triumphantly bring back the Bolt? Oh dear, it's only the huge SUV one.

The US has cured me of caring about any car that's not an old Citroën. Our market is pure garbage, and our consumers are the suckers any grifter would wet their pants over. sigh.

Oddly, though, as I was in DC area highway traffic the other day in a car designed in the thirties to serve French farmers, one of the Cyberthings rumbled by (alas, there are a lot of them around here), and I had a little paradigm shift. I mean, sure, that thing is an absolute sack of shit designed from the outset to impress morons...but on the other hand? Somehow, someone managed to convince the kind of toxbros that would normally have some bloated thunderously loud coal-rolling strutting gender-affirming-caremobile for fragile manbabies to buy an electric car instead. Yeah, it's a garbage electric car, but even a garbage electric car makes an argument for how driving some ancient techless poison-spewing 19th century horseless carriage isn't as obligatory as the poison-spewing comment sections of almost every place EVs are mentioned would indicate.

"Good for you and your electric car," I said, over the shrill sound of a two-cylinder engine and the incomprehensible wind noise of a tiny car for French farmers making its way through road conditions André Lefèbvre could never have conceived for le Tout Petite Voiture as the lumbering slab of whatever the hell that's supposed to look like slipped by, and I think maybe I meant it.
posted by sonascope at 10:21 AM

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Pretty sure the only reason Tesla is not getting utterly destroyed by BYD is because the powers that be are moving heaven and earth to prevent BYD from selling anything in the US.

Americans only let the free market decide when it helps American billionaires, of course.
posted by caution live frogs at 12:03 PM

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Someone even DROWNED in a Cybertruck cause they couldn't get out, WITH rescuers outside.

I think you're thinking of the incident with Angela Chao in a Model X. As far as I can tell, all Teslas have electric door latches. You really should read the manual before you get in one, though sometimes that doesn't help... the earliest Model 3's had no backup mechanical door latch in the back at all (in most of them you can remove a panel and pull a cord).

Regular Car Reviews are fun to watch, but the jackhammer voice-over really wears out after one video.
posted by netowl at 12:34 PM

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> Somehow, someone managed to convince the kind of toxbros that would normally have some bloated thunderously loud coal-rolling strutting gender-affirming-caremobile for fragile manbabies to buy an electric car instead.

I'd actually point to that as a knock against electric cars. EVs, like the always-almost-here Self Driving Car, try to address problems caused by private car ownership by making the cars themselves the solution. Yes, electric vehicles help address fossil fuel pollution. That ain't nothing. But cars cause other serious problems that switching power sources does nothing to address: with EVs you still have social atomization and bad health and inhuman infrastructure and the general American affliction of Car Brain. I just posted an FPP about Miatas, and I enjoy rowing gears as much the next middle-aged American who gripes about numb steering, but the solution to cars isn't electric cars. It's trains. (And other forms of transit like those pesky electric scooters.)

There's a reason Musk has a bee in his bonnet about California High Speed Rail.
posted by postcommunism at 1:10 PM

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Fiat 500e

I saw one of these the other day for the first time. I might have actually gasped. It's adorable and electric; what else could you want in a "city" car?
posted by uncleozzy at 4:56 PM

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like the always-almost-here Self Driving Car, try to address problems caused by private car ownership by making the cars themselves the solution

Oh, I absolutely agree, and there are great memes that provide a useful addendum to those visualizations of how many people are transported in cars/bikes/a bus by pointing out that the EVs don't change anything compared to ICE cars. Where I'd diverge, a bit, is that anything that makes us rethink the old order (by which I mean a single century) of things by making people think slightly more about how their transportation works.

I relationshipped my way out of a functioning small town with a 96 walkscore, multiple bus lines, and a rail connection to both Baltimore and DC, and now I'm in a former trolley suburb with no sidewalks, no buses anywhere within reasonable walking distance, and now I have to drive five miles to the tiny nearby station on the same commuter train line that was at the end of my old street. I also live within a 5-10 minute drive of all the shopping/utility services I could ever need, but I can't walk there (no sidewalks), can't ride my e-bike there (roads are glutted with giant SUVs piloted by suburban idiots who never learned to drive), and there's no transit or any hope of transit any time in the foreseeable future because (well, Americans are utter idiots—we fought against metric, FFS), so a used Lead or Smart Electric Drive with half its battery capacity left (or a Citroën Ami, a Fiat Topolino, or a Renault Twizy EV if such things were available) would close that gap perfectly. ICE cars' emissions controls don't work at all until the engines reach operating temperature, so when I fire up a car to drive 5 minutes to Hmart for baby bok choy, I'm polluting like a gasoline lawn mower.

I absolutely get the critique that EVs don't solve the car problem, but I also think we're not going to be able to go straight from the sprawling nightmare landscape we spent a century building back to denser living with good transit in a single—we need things to make us rethink, and we're a country that isn't good at backing down from our stupid mistakes.
posted by sonascope at 4:28 AM

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I know someone who recently got a used plug-in Prius and even though the battery-only range is only ~30mi on a good day, that's more than enough. So much so that they haven't put gas in it for six months with daily driving. And the engine is there as both a safety net and for the occasional, once-a-month drive that's >30mi.

There's a lot of back-and-forth about plug-in hybrids vs EVs, but in this one particular use case I think the the plug-in was the best solution. And if it wasn't for the lack of trunk space I'd probably trade my Honda Fit for a similar car because that's also my use case.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:24 AM

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caution live frogs: "Pretty sure the only reason Tesla is not getting utterly destroyed by BYD is because the powers that be are moving heaven and earth to prevent BYD from selling anything in the US.

Americans only let the free market decide when it helps American billionaires, of course."

Oh I do wish this article had been posted yesterday instead of today, because it completely supports my argument here: US jobs too important to risk Chinese car imports, says Ford CEO
posted by caution live frogs at 7:05 AM

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paying 2x as much for a vehicle that kills loads more people because of its size, costs thousands of dollars a year in fuel, and emits hundreds of tons of carbon dioxide over its lifetime is definitely worth raking in those dividends. here's a blindfold, do you want a cigarette?
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:26 AM

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Amusingly enough, I didn't have a moment to correct my typos or further my point because I had to jump into my old car and drive to the train station to head to work (I'm curious now whether my car pollutes more than my per-person space on the commuter train, but I have a feeling it does).

What I should have added was that I think EVs provide a decent incremental step to introducing people to the idea that there are actually choices available, so while I'm living in a suburban landscape after 32 years in a walkable town with transit, I can use EV as a last-mile technology to get me to the grocery store, the bookstore, the post office, the train station, and given that virtually everything I need 95% of the time is within a 5-10 mile drive, I could put solar panels on a carport, charge a used Smart Fortwo Electric Drive off the sun, and cover all those annoying trips that I'd otherwise have to use a stupid gasoline car for with a last-mile vehicle instead of the has-to-cover-every-conceivable-use-case vehicle that everyone in the US seems to believe is the baseline.

So the Cybertruck does indeed suck, but it's an off-the-beaten-track choice for a country of people who rarely opt for those kinds of choices, and I think that's at least an incremental step to something better. It's not a better step than being able to buy a genuine urban electric runabout in the US for those trips that we're stuck making in blumbering bloatmobiles because we all drank the Robert Moses Fla·Vor·Aid for the last half century (plus), but anything to give people even the slightest idea that paradigms can be challenged is hopeful for me. Mind you, I don't want those soup cans roaming my neighborhood, because I maybe be out walking, cycling, e-cycling, or puttering around in a 600kg farmer's car made out of French cookie sheets and I'd prefer not to be flattened by some dipshit trying to view the world from a nearly-horizontal windscreen (I'm looking at you, too, Countach), but there's always a chance that, once the toxbro novelty has worn off, a less ridiculous EV would be something to consider.

Of course, our structural problems are more grave and intractable, but we're trying to unwind a century of thoughtless false progress.
posted by sonascope at 9:31 AM

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US jobs too important to risk Chinese car imports, says Ford CEO

My hope is that Canada allowing imported EVs from China will finally break the stranglehold that US car companies have over what options we have.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:39 PM

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And it was that impunity that became a big part of Tesla's brand. It doesn't matter how selfish you are. Because you bought a Tesla, you're doing more than anyone who doesn't have an EV.

Pious Prius Driver
posted by flabdablet at 6:46 AM

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This post and the video have been up for 4 days.

Ctrl+F "Aztec"

Wow... the previously most hated car has finally been succeeded.
posted by JoeXIII007 at 9:11 PM

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The Aztec was moderately priced and functioned really well at the tasks it was designed to do. Once you got past the looks it was pretty decent as far as GM models of the time went. There were people into camping and stuff that love their Aztecs to death.

The Cybertruck is bad at everything it does, the fit and finish is shite, it's unreliable, and it costs north of six digits. So to convince yourself to buy one, you have to ignore this mountain of facts telling you what a bad decision it is, knowing you're going to be ridiculed and buy the stupid thing anyways because the other men in your social circle will think it's cool while making everyone else deal with their dumbass decision.

The Aztec is just a weird, ugly car that doesn't really bother anyone. The Cybertruck is an expensive piece of shit that bothers everyone.

It also just occurs to me that it's like it's been designed to "piss off the libs" in the idiotic "you have to like it because it's electric, do you hate the environment?!" kind of way.
posted by VTX at 6:27 AM

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