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community weblog

"I'm going to learn to love Mycock"

BBC: "For the first 18 years of my life, I had no idea my surname was funny. I grew up in Buxton, a market town in Derbyshire, where Mycock is a popular name. There are more than 2,000 in the UK, give or take ... In the digital world, I have difficulties too: filling out online forms or setting up an email address can see my name rejected and the emails I send often go into spam folders. Searching for my surname is banned on some social media platforms. My mother Patricia had a dreadful time when she took on the surname. Her joy of divorcing my father was twofold as she not only left a somewhat feckless husband, but also de-Mycock-ed herself."
posted by Wordshore on Apr 18, 2026 at 8:56 AM

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See also: the Scunthorpe problem.
posted by adamrice at 9:05 AM

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Given that my surname is a slang term for penis maybe I should be worried? It's also like the second most common surname in English. We should just pray that the internet censors don't scan through this to find more words to protect us from...
posted by njohnson23 at 9:14 AM

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haha I have a fairly uncommon and highly mockable name (a British name, as it happens), which can also be "accidentally" mispronounced to make it more mockable in another way. FUN!

I didn't love it when I was a kid, although I understood it wasn't personal. As a young adult who didn't have any interest in marriage for the time being, I figured I just had to come to terms with it, to lean in, as it were. So by the time I got married, at 35, I was adamant about keeping my silly name. (my name does not contain any penis references)
posted by supermedusa at 9:16 AM

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I went to school with a kid whose surname was Penix. That must have been hard.
posted by downtohisturtles at 9:17 AM

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haha I have a fairly uncommon and highly mockable name

Shaft? John Shaft?
posted by biffa at 9:29 AM

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My mother Patricia had a dreadful time when she took on the surname.

Friends called her Pat.
posted by Paul Slade at 9:34 AM

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This is a popular game in Mennonites circles as some will do hyphenate names. So you can get names like Anita Dyck-Friesen. But also non hyphenates like Harry Butts.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:35 AM

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Ellis Island has a lot to answer for. I could have been a Trukamufski.
posted by phooky at 9:40 AM

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Shaft? John Shaft?

my name has no penis jokes in it, sorry
posted by supermedusa at 9:46 AM

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This is a popular game in Mennonites circles as some will do hyphenate names. So you can get names like Anita Dyck-Friesen.

National Lampoon used to have a regular True Facts feature reproducing newspaper wedding announcements headed with an unfortunate combination of surnames. There was a Love-Organ match in Arkansas, I recall.
posted by Paul Slade at 9:50 AM

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My favorite lewd name story comes from a former North American colleague whose parents--both doctors--ran a non-profit offering free healthcare in rural Albania.

A few of the local directors and their families came to visit them in Michigan one year. One brought her teenage son who scandalized everyone when he introduced himself as Clit.

Everyone was polite. Nobody laughed, and eventually everyone got used to calling him by name without a smirk.

Fast forward to a year later, when my friend visited Tirana with her family and introduced herself. There were little sniggers, but she didn't think much of it, until Clit came over and said something along the lines of "We should talk about names. I think there is a problem."

Naturally, my friend figured he was talking about his own name. She was relieved that she could clear the air, so she explained why people thought his name was so funny. Puzzled, he replied that no, he wasn't talking about his own name; he was talking about her name.

Apparently, in Albanian, Kara means "dongs."
posted by yellowcandy at 9:50 AM

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Both my first and last names are euphemisms for penis. Whenever anyone remarks about that fact my spouse says "So nice they named it twice!"
posted by Floydd at 9:57 AM

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A couple of decades ago I worked with Jack DeCock (Not choosing John was a bold move on his part.) Looks like he's been gone for a while now from the obituary.
posted by ToddTyrtle at 10:02 AM

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I thought for a long time that Bruce Cockburn's surname was pronounced as, well you know.
Then I learned he was French-Canadian.
posted by falsedmitri at 10:03 AM

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I feel bad for Peter Dinklage. His first name is a nickname for masculine genitalia, and his last name sounds like it should be.

"Ow, right in the Dinklage!"
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:08 AM

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While inertia and family peer pressure constrain people from changing their surname I marvel at parents who inflict these sort of names as first names. Like if your surname is Trickle why would you name your kid Richard/Dick?
posted by Mitheral at 10:16 AM

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There's also the surname Handcock, which I imagine results in a lot of unpleasant teasing at primary school/high school.

(I know someone with this surname in real life, and I am a bit surprised that they/their parents never changed it.)
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:25 AM

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This is a popular game in Mennonites circles as some will do hyphenate names. So you can get names like Anita Dyck-Friesen.

Letterkenny made a metric ton of double-entendres involving the Mennonite Dyck family — Noah, Anita, Lovina, Charity, and Chastity.
posted by axiom at 10:27 AM

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True story. Over the years I have worked with both a Woodcock and a Glasscock, the latter of whom could be insufferable, and i once said to a colleague "even if he had a different name he'd still be a complete dildo."
posted by jerome powell buys his sweatbands in bulk only at 10:48 AM

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I went to school with a kid whose surname was Penix

Not a Gaul by any chance, were they? (with apologies to Goscinny et Uderzo)

Growing up, there was a provincial police liaison officer in my home town named John Outhouse.
posted by Artful Codger at 10:49 AM

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Regexes considéred harmful. See also DOGE.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 10:57 AM

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Junior high math teacher legally changed his name to John from Jack Hof.
posted by riverlife at 11:02 AM

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Went to school with a boy named Richard Lester. I'm assuming his parents were oblivious because nobody would do that to their first son otherwise.

Remembering you fondly, Dickless.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:14 AM

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I know a Mike Hunt. That's his given name, so I guess he plays into it.
posted by biffa at 11:27 AM

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Hancock Pitch Meeting - Ryan George
posted by falsedmitri at 11:42 AM

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In case Mr. Mycock needs some pro bono* legal servicing: Hiscock Legal Aid Society

* "-er"
posted by JimInSYR at 11:52 AM

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I think about Dick Pound and how he could just as easily go by any other version of Richard. But he goes by Dick.
posted by BungaDunga at 11:57 AM

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Noah, Anita, Lovina, Charity, and Chastity.

could be worse
posted by BungaDunga at 11:59 AM

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... a kid whose surname was Penix. That must have been hard.

ISWYDT
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:05 PM

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Went to school with a boy named Richard Lester.

I'd be shocked if at least one schoolmate never gave him the nickname "Mo".
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:07 PM

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Hmm petition to change name to Godcock
posted by symbioid at 12:08 PM

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Things have changed. There will be no mockery of your name, Mr. Glasscock.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:50 PM

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We had a maths teacher called Mr Silcock, the kids called him Velvet Balls.
posted by biffa at 12:53 PM

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Re: Mr Null.
posted by gregr at 1:00 PM

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Speaking of the National Lampoon, their High School Yearbook was full of joke names for the students, like Bertha D. Blues and Dick Gozinya, which were a fad joke form back in the early 70's.
posted by njohnson23 at 1:15 PM

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I served with a Seaman Semen....I swear. Really. Honest. I know it sounds made up.
posted by Vigilant at 1:19 PM

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I apologize. I waited patiently for four hours for someone else to take the low road and mention Dick Van Dyke (not a stage name). I couldn't hold it in any longer.
posted by DanSachs at 1:34 PM

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I'm just gonna go out on a limb here, and say that if your surname is "Tips" you should not name your kid "Richard."
posted by brundlefly at 1:35 PM

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And if you do, they should not go into a business that involves "stiffs."
posted by brundlefly at 1:36 PM

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About thirty years ago some workmen were trying to take down some scaffolding in front of the house next to the one we lived in, failed to do it safely due to not having the required number of people to do the job, and took out the windshield and roof of our car when the scaffolding toppled onto it.

We had thought nothing of the fact that the construction firm responsible was Hickey Brothers, until we had to deal with one of the two owners for the insurance - He went by the name Dick Hickey.
posted by Jane the Brown at 1:52 PM

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I worked with a fellow whose last name was Held. His parents had the nerve to name him Richard.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:02 PM

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I'm good friends with some Hiscocks, so I really get this. When the Mrs. married the Mr. she surrendered an absolutely ordinary surname. Baffling, but they seem happy.

My mother went to high school with a guy named John Thomas; she never knew if his parents understood the reference.
posted by workerant at 2:03 PM

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I thought for a long time that Bruce Cockburn's surname was pronounced as, well you know.
Then I learned he was French-Canadian.

Cockburn is pronounced as Coburn in English.
posted by biffa at 2:27 PM

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Great thread, terrible article. The Beeb is paywalled and they've apparently added some nastiness so that you can't even view it internet archive—keeps repeatedly reloading even in reader mode.

I was thinking it would be trivial to come up with an unfortunate first name to go with "Mycock" but I haven't had any luck, other than "Phillip," which is not *very* funny.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 2:43 PM

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Rural mailboxes don't need to have the resident's name on them, but Edith Cox opted to prominently display hers.
posted by joeyh at 2:44 PM

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Cockburn is pronounced as Coburn in English.

... and Sidebottom is Siddy-boh-tham.

I waited patiently for four hours for someone else to take the low road and mention Dick Van Dyke

Surely you mean Penis Lorry Lesbian?
posted by Paul Slade at 2:52 PM

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When I first saw Dick Butkus on TV at age 12 or so, my first thought was how come no one is teasing the shit out of him for that name?
posted by Melismata at 3:03 PM

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come up with an unfortunate first name to go with "Mycock"

Luka? Harris?
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:22 PM

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("look at", "here is")
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:28 PM

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come up with an unfortunate first name to go with "Mycock"

Orla?
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 3:34 PM

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Reuben!
posted by mittens at 3:39 PM

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> maths teacher called Mr Silcock, the kids called him Velvet Balls

Silcock might have escaped this fate by teaching undergraduates, provided he steered well clear of lecturing on algebraic topology (hairy ball theorem)
posted by are-coral-made at 4:12 PM

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We had a temporary teacher called Mr. P. Staines. As far as I remember, his given name was Paul. Probably most other initials would have been better.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 4:19 PM

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I always thought the name Dick Button sounded like a painful contraceptive.
posted by JanetLand at 4:34 PM

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For the first 18 years of my life, I had no idea my surname was funny.
I simply do not believe this.
posted by kickingtheground at 4:53 PM

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It's true. For the first 18 years, the surname was a tragedy.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:10 PM

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Tristan (as pronounced by Elmer Fudd)
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:35 PM

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was thinking it would be trivial to come up with an unfortunate first name to go with "Mycock"

Any given name that is also a verb is...less than ideal if that's your surname. Bob, Tan, Trip, Tuck.

Not sure if Tipper is also a given name as well as a surname, but if it's not Mr & Mrs Mycock are probably not the family to innovate with it.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 5:41 PM

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Oh, my brain just quietly reminded me I used to know someone called Landon. Also best avoided.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 5:44 PM

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Tipper Gore?
Landon would be...quite something!
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 5:45 PM

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As someone who's surname is Babcock (and damn proud of it I might add), I'm sooooo very glad that all of you are getting in touch with your inner 13 year old selves. You're all going to Hell.

Seriously, I want to strangle anyone who pronounces it Badcock... but that's actually what our name was before we sailed over to the Americas.
posted by jabo at 6:07 PM

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At least your name isn't "Paul Myfinger".
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:25 PM

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This thread has resurrected a memory of my college radio days, where we kept in pride of place the epically named album, "Dick Hyman and His Fabulous Organ," though his discography only has it listed as the more coyly named album "Fabulous." Cowards.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 7:41 PM

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I keep a list (not online, sorry) of 210 real names beginning with Dick, e.g., Dick Chopp (a physician specializing in vasectomies) and the great Batman artist Dick Sprang. And 65 beginning with Peter, such as actors Peter Bonerz and Peter Sellers. And some also-rans, like actor Roger Moore and Confederate general Bushrod Johnson.
posted by bryon at 7:52 PM

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I recently saw a sign for Dr. Peter G Weiner. I can only assume the G stands for "genitals". Back when I used to work in Marin there was a medical office I'd drive by for Dr. Robert G Aycock. My dude, why leave the G in there?
posted by Dokterrock at 11:22 PM

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his discography only has it listed as the more coyly named album "Fabulous." Cowards.

Richard Cheese's Big Swingin' Organ is a bit more in your face and might be more to your taste.
posted by flabdablet at 1:16 AM

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I knew a girl in elementary school whose last name was Dildine. I think we kind of vaguely knew it was adjacent to some outrageous word, but as kids we didn't really know. She moved away during jr. high and I always wondered what kind of jokes were made by/to/about her in high school.
posted by zardoz at 2:42 AM

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I always thought residents of the UK had some sort of innuendo deflection mechanism when it comes to place names, considering that in their capital city you can take the train from Cockfosters to Shepherd's Bush or from Mudchute to Wapping, for example. The only way I can avoid perishing from giggling is to pronounce the station names very loudly while doing an impersonation of Matt Berry.
posted by Markov Polo at 4:53 AM

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My dad's lifelong best friend was Dick Bush. And let's not forget the recently name checked Florida drug running fire chief Bum Farto.

With all that's going on in the world, this has been a fun reversion to childlike a state.
posted by caviar2d2 at 5:42 AM

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This is reminding me of the office I worked in over (dear lord) twenty years ago. One day we got an email announcing that they'd be showing a new employee around.

This was unusual, as they generally just brought the person around without any preamble. I wondered why they were doing it this way...and then I saw the name.

The last name was Dickinson, which, okay, mildly funny if you're twelve. But the first name? I could only speculate that this was an Asian person who'd married someone with a more Western last name, because her first name...was Suk.

They'd very obviously sent the email around so we could get all the "What, really?" out of our systems first.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:45 AM

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Cockburn is pronounced as Coburn in English.

And Bruce Cockburn is not French Canadian. I can assure you, as a French Canadian, it's a Scottish surname.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:23 AM

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*philosophical* at a certain point with having a funny last name I think you just become immune to the joke. I'm personally just glad that they stopped coming out with "Deuce Bigalow, American Gigolo" movies because those made the name jokes really inescapable for a while. (My last name is Giglio, so like I get it but I lost all sense of humor about the joke circa kindergarten.)
posted by sciatrix at 7:54 AM

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Making fun of someone's name is somewhere near the lowest form of humour. It's especially surprising that so many people seem to think that the sudden novelty they feel from first hearing a name will be shared by the person who heard it throughout their entire life.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:40 AM

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I'm personally just glad that they stopped coming out with "Deuce Bigalow, American Gigolo" movies

so say we all
posted by mittens at 8:43 AM

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Tipper Gore?

I barely knew her!
posted by fridgebuzz at 8:45 AM

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Decades ago the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences at West Georgia College (now the University of West Georgia) was Dr. Richard Dangle. He insisted people call him Dick. Yes. Dean Doctor Dick Dangle.
posted by ob1quixote at 10:43 AM

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