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overthinking entertainment
Stranger Things: The Crawl - Season 5, Episode 1
The kids who are supposed to be what, fifteen? sixteen? now are all obviously in their twenties. It's been three and a half years since this show last aired with a big cliffhanger that literally tore the world open. Does anybody even care anymore?
Somehow they walked back the apocalypse and life in Hawkins is, at least on the surface, back to normal? Season One seemed so true to the look and feel of the 80s in the Midwest. Even as late as season 3, the Mallification of America and the Russian spy movies seemed of a piece with the combination of real 80s memories, 80s film pastiche, and horror. But last season was at best diminishing returns and at worst a big stumble and this episode does nothing to right the ship. It feels like warmed up leftovers or a cash-grab greatest hits album with a bunch of filler to pad it out.
posted by rikschell on Nov 28, 2025 at 5:03 AM
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The opening sequence with Will was execrable CGI, they have lost the lesson that showing monsters less makes them more scary. But what I found not just bad but actually offensive was the boss demon (who's really a mentally ill man) shoves his (metaphorical, but only just) monster dick in the gay (underage) kid's mouth in some power transfer molestation scene?!
The Duffers have always taken themes from the pop culture of the time as inspiration, but conflating the Satanic Panic and Gay Panic and bringing them to life in that way is just wildly off brand.
All the actors look embarrassed through the whole episode, like "well, contractually we have to be here." Everyone but the Duffer brothers seem to realize that they should have wrapped it up last season and they've kind of run out of road here.
Still, what could be more true to the 80s than taking a good concept and pumping out so many sequels that it retroactively harms the original idea?
I'm too much of a completionist to walk away, but so far this is solidly in "The Last Skywalker" territory.
posted by rikschell at 5:16 AM
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Still, what could be more true to the 80s than taking a good concept and pumping out so many sequels that it retroactively harms the original idea?
Ouch. I was gonna wait til it was all over to binge and fast-forward in 10-second intervals thru the boring bits, like I did last season, but now you've got me thinking about a full-on hatewatch lol.
posted by mediareport at 6:21 AM
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I may have overstated that no one looks like they're having fun: Bret Gelman is still enjoying himself, and Sadie Sink looks relieved to be in a coma.
posted by rikschell at 6:50 AM
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I admit I've been finding it really hard to work up any interest in watching, and everything I've been seeing about it (including this) is only increasing the difficulty.
posted by Pedantzilla at 8:22 AM
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Maya Hawke chewing scenery got us through the episode, but, by the end we were just laughing at the awful awful expository dialogue that seemed all in the service of leading us toward a plot that's just a retread of earlier seasons. Hatewatch seems inevitable.
posted by OHenryPacey at 8:47 AM
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The production design of this series has always seemed really well done and on point. But the outfits in particular in this episode read to me like parodies of 80s outfits rather than accurate representations. Maybe it's just the change from early mid 80s to late mid 80s, but I don't think so. I lived through it, and it just feels lazy whereas it felt loving before.
posted by rikschell at 9:20 AM
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I feel like the outfits have been off for at least a season or two. In season 4, Argyle and Eddie were the pretty close to what I saw people wearing daily in mid-80s SoCal, but a lot of what other people wore were more of a "yes that's 80s clothing, but not that people would actually wear". I have yet to see someone wearing pegged pants (bonus points for Bugle Boys), parachute pants, or pointless suspenders. Argyle got the jam pants and bike racing hat down.
I did feel like this should have ended with season 4 and the reason it didn't was because they felt like they could milk it for a few more episodes. I've finished the first drop and haven't been disabused of that feeling yet. Some of the cast pairings while they're doing their various fetch quests are new and have interesting dynamics, but that seems like fluff in what should be a more plot-driven show.
posted by LionIndex at 10:12 AM
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Oh, I wholeheartedly agree that it should have ended with the previous season, or earlier. I felt like season 1 was a perfect mix of what the 80s felt like and what watching movies from the 80s feels like. The characters were so great that I understood wanting to spend more time with them, even if the plot could carry the concept less and less. But this feels like when Mad Men split its final season in two and held off the last batch for a whole year, which made everyone care a lot less.
If it hadn't lost momentum due to the writers strike maybe it at least would have a bit more energy.
posted by rikschell at 10:21 AM
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My personal hatewatch drinking game for this (and the next three) eps was -
- take a shot every time someone says a variation of 'i don't understand' or 'that doesn't make sense' right after a plot point is clearly spelled out to them
- protracted sip during any pointless argument that is just two characters bitching at each other for no good reason
- full angry chug when they reference a DnD rule that didn't exist at the time. Dimension Door is absolutely not on the cleric spell list until the extremely niche case of the Travel Domain in 3rd edition dammit! (That may be an ep2 thing, I can't care to remember)
- wistful drink for every scene of a bunch of mid-20 year olds in high school trying to blend in like they're about to do a crossover with the (much better) Pen15 cast
- disappointed draught every time Gelman shows up being the only fun thing on screen until you remember he's a hardcore pro-Zionist supporter of Israel's continuing genocide of Palestinians
posted by FatherDagon at 11:12 AM
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The wigs are still awful.
I watched a S4 recap and I had forgotten almost everything. This show is so plot-ful, and has too many characters. To be honest I'm surprised it's able to move at all.
My nostalgia interest in this show has completely dried up, and I don't have the energy to hatewatch it anymore.
posted by fleacircus at 1:52 PM
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Interesting how Gelman's character brings food and aid to civilians experiencing military occupation, but he can't wrap his brain about the decency of doing this irl.
posted by miss-lapin at 3:27 PM
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If it hadn't lost momentum due to the writers strike maybe it at least would have a bit more energy.
The decision to release half the season, and the 3/8 a month later, and then 1/8 a week later is baffling. The first 3 seasons were all released at once. Last one was 6 and then a 2-part finale a month later, but at least those were in the middle of the year, not releasing on essentially 3 separate holidays (thanksgiving, christmas, new year's). OG seasons were halloween-centric, not sure why they thought it was a good idea to depart from that. But I guess I'm pot committed now so I'll watch it just to be done with it all. Hopefully they manage 1 or 2 really good moments like the Steve/Robin bathroom scene from S3.
take a shot every time someone says a variation of 'i don't understand' or 'that doesn't make sense' right after a plot point is clearly spelled out to them
Take a shot every time someone, aware they live in a town at risk of monster invasion with a portal to another dimension and who's friends or acquaintances with a telepath, finds something far-fetched or hard to believe.
posted by axiom at 4:11 PM
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[One comment removed for revealing how this season ends in discussion about the first episode.
Folks, please do not reveal things that happen in future episodes, even if all the episodes have been released. You can make separate post/discussion about multiple episodes, but otherwise just keep discussion to the current or previous episodes.
Axiom, if you're ok with mods removing that particular poiler paragraph from your comment and and letting the rest of it be live, let us know, that's totally an option.]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:32 PM
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I watched a recap of the first four seasons and I'd forgotten, well, frankly most of it because it's been so long. This episode was just OK.
For the amount of time and money they put into this, some shots looked really obviously fake (the boys at the top of the radio tower, for example, looked like old school blue screen tech). I'll finish this season, but so far it is more out of a sense of obligation than real investment in the story.
posted by asnider at 9:47 PM
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I dunno, the quick scene where the army guys were chasing away the kids sledding down steel plates covering up the hellfire ravine was briefly amusing.
posted by sammyo at 10:14 PM
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[Comment edited and restored with member's permission. ]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:07 AM
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Well, hmph, I didn't think it was that bad. It's the weakest of the four episodes released in this chunk, though.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:02 AM
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Dr Pepper Dr Pepper Coke Coke Coke Gatorade Coke Gatorade Dr Pepper
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:47 AM
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I'm having fun, but then I never expected this to be great television. I admit a large part of the fun is Georgia filming location watching. The cemetery where Eddie is buried is our historic town cemetery here in Stone Mountain. The metal plates laid across the rift in the earth are an homage to Georgia DOT, whose solution to everything from small cracks and potholes to huge sinkholes in the middle of the road is to put a metal plate over it. Yes, I promise to come into every episode and tell you locations I recognize.
posted by hydropsyche at 12:50 PM
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Well, that's good news, I guess, if it gets better from here.
posted by rikschell at 1:03 PM
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I was pretty meh on the return, feeling the plot has been stretched out for waaaaay too long. Plus the advice from the Duffer Bros to rewatch 4 episodes which was is almost six hours? Nah, I'm good.
But this opening episode was a nice return to the universe and Mrs Keller going all in on the The Demogorgon and getting injured lent a needed narrative weight to the story. Dustin getting so badly beaten had a similar effect.
However, I kept getting distracted by the wig on Lucas. WTH, Duffer's who let that make it to the final edit?! Yeah, there aren't a lot of black people in town, so there may not be a black barber, but dayum!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:17 PM
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Lucas' wig is so bad, it's even worse than Jonathan's. I'm also distracted by how tiny most of the women have become; I don't remember them being that small in earlier seasons.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:15 PM
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I don't remember them being that small in earlier seasons. It's because the boys have grown significantly in the past 3 years making the women (most of whom are about 5 ft 3) look much smaller in comparison.
posted by miss-lapin at 2:37 PM
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Oh, I meant how thin they are.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:37 PM
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Really would not have put my money on the dude who plays Steve turning out to be an interesting actor who makes some cool choices (he plays Stephen Malkmus inPavements!) and has a not bad and quite popular band that played a big stage at Lollapalooza. I'd have figured Millie Bobby Brown would have gone into A24 films or at least interesting HBO series, but nah she seems pretty middling and normie and boring.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:49 AM
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Waiting for someone to make a post about the first 4-episode dump, but until then I'll just say that I've been pleasantly surprised by these episodes after initial heavy skepticism. Yeah, it's retread plot city, but it's an ok retread of a show I used to love so I'll keep going, and the age thing doesn't bother me half as much as I expected it to.
posted by mediareport at 10:52 AM
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Really would not have put my money on the dude who plays Steve turning out to be an interesting actor who makes some cool choices (he plays Stephen Malkmus inPavements!)
I have been VERY intrigued by a trailer for one of his upcoming films - COLD STORAGE, which looks like "THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN meets SHAUN OF THE DEAD."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:56 AM
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I dig on radio, loved the sound fx carts
posted by eustatic at 2:38 PM
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I was saddened to learn that Humvees are period accurate, and that we are two new types of tankjeep in by 2025 as we invade venezuela for oil
posted by eustatic at 3:11 PM
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Our family's review is that this show used to be an A-, then slid into being a B, then a B-/C+, while still scattering in a healthy number of A-level moments. Last season, the mix was even more off, with some legit A moments and some really disappointing D- level stuff.
This season, through two episodes at least, does not have the peaks of the previous years, but doesn't have the low lows, either, so it's humming along at a pretty watchable clip. It has not restored my faith, but it has stabilized enough that it isn't a hate watch either.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:43 AM
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full angry chug when they reference a DnD rule that didn't exist at the time. Dimension Door is absolutely not on the cleric spell list until the extremely niche case of the Travel Domain in 3rd edition dammit!
I pointed out way back in the first episode of the series that they weren't using the rules as written. In the case of this episode's Dimension Door moment, it's worth noting that not only is Dimension Door not a spell that was available to clerics at the time the episode is set, the spell Mike describes also isn't Dimension Door (the actual DD spell is limited to a range of 500 feet).
While it seems pretty obvious to me that the Duffers are more interested in vibes than rules fidelity when it comes to Dungeons & Dragons, my headcanon is that Mike simply doesn't know the rules nearly as well as he pretends he does and his players just go with it because it always seems to work out in their favor and no one else wants to be Dungeon Master.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 11:33 AM
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The story beat of Will catching Robin with her girlfriend at the hospital was really well done, I thought. It took me right back to being not even really out to myself yet, and experiencing the shock of seeing someone I knew and liked being happily gay with someone else, and not being able to process what my feelings about that meant and just having to run from the idea for a bit. I mean, I was going through that in the early 2000s which was a different time for sure than the late 80s in terms of overall visibility and acceptance for LGBT people in society, but I sure managed to feel plenty of shame and uncertainty in the closet even then and the way they played that scene in the show felt real to me.
posted by sigmagalator at 6:26 PM
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Finally getting to catch these after an unexpected five-day cross-country drive fell right when they were dropping. My initial thoughts, having not moved onto the next episodes yet:
• A bit rough, but that's common for the first episodes of Stranger Things seasons. I mostly was cringing at the kinda-heavy-handed exposition surrounding stuff that we should already know/understand. i.e. character motivations ("The important thing is killing Vecna!" "Don't you think I know how important it is to kill Vecna?!" or whatever.) Meanwhile, the exposition of what they've been doing this whole time in quarantine was engaging and well-done, I thought. Largely because it centered on Robin's perfect role as the DJ disseminating secret intel over the airwaves through seemingly inane banter, and then later on Nancy presenting the plan for the Crawl à la a heist movie.
• Seasons 1, 3 and 4 were all good at establishing their main source of pastiche within episode 1 (Spielberg/King for 1, Cold War Action Movies/Fast Times for 3, Wes Craven for 4.) Season 2 was largely an Aliens type of thing, though it took a bit longer for that to come across. (Paul Reiser's appearance helped, though.) I'm not sure what we're doing with this one, if anything other than "Stranger Things itself." Linda Hamilton's presence may point to The Terminator, though I don't know how, and that was also kinda-sorta in the Season 3 mix, so who knows. In any case, I feel like I have less of a tonal footing to go on here.
• Remember when Dustin was fun?
• This might just be me, but Holly looks like they cast a fifteen-year-old, then checked their notes that she should be about ten, and tried to solve the issue with costuming. And it's not that the actress aged up along with all of out other early-twenties high schoolers - she was recast for this season. But I'll chalk this up to me just not having kids and so not knowing what they look like at different ages.
• I'm glad they've kept (so far, at least) to the core concept of the show of Ted Wheeler being absolutely useless.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:43 AM
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Navelgazer: "Seasons 1, 3 and 4 were all good at establishing their main source of pastiche (Spielberg/King for 1, Cold War Action Movies/Fast Times for 3, Wes Craven for 4.) Season 2 was largely an Aliens type of thing... I'm not sure what we're doing with this one"
It's being set up already with what Holly is reading... that seems to be the pastiche source for this season. If you're not familiar with that book, some of the more overt pulls from it may not have landed.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:22 AM
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> I'll chalk this up to me just not having kids and so not knowing what they look like at different ages
I do have kids and none of them wore that much lipstick at 10.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:58 AM
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Navelgazer: "• This might just be me, but Holly looks like they cast a fifteen-year-old, then checked their notes that she should be about ten, and tried to solve the issue with costuming. And it's not that the actress aged up along with all of out other early-twenties high schoolers - she was recast for this season. But I'll chalk this up to me just not having kids and so not knowing what they look like at different ages."
It isn't just you. The actress was born in 2011. And AKSHULLY, according to the timeline, Holly should only be 7 but the Duffers have retconned the character to be 10.
posted by cooker girl at 12:22 PM
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They could have just gone with Vecna casting some kind of curse spell that caused everyone to age five extra years and have legitimate angst around that. Season 1 Hawkins felt like a real place, but that's gotten lost in the mix.
posted by rikschell at 3:58 PM
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DirtyOldTown: "It's being set up already with what Holly is reading... that seems to be the pastiche source for this season. If you're not familiar with that book, some of the more overt pulls from it may not have landed."
Can you elaborate more on this? I got the Whatsit name of course, but I'm curious if there are other signs or references I've missed.
posted by sigmagalator at 8:41 PM
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Actually, having finally started episode 3, I realize that might be a topic for a later thread!
posted by sigmagalator at 9:49 PM
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I don't mean to be cagey not specifying all of the Wrinkle in Time references, but it's not because they're not there... it's that I've watched this whole half season and I don't want to misremember which episode is which and drop spoilers in by mistake.
If you don't mind spoilers or if you're caught up and they're irrelevant, the nice people at Reddit are all over this in multiple, easily found threads.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:22 AM
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And AKSHULLY, according to the timeline, Holly should only be 7
I was wondering about that. In season one she was barely a toddler, if I remember. I was thinking she should maybe only be 5 or 6, but I'm slightly unclear on how much time has actually passed in the show.
posted by asnider at 10:19 AM
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Aside from all the comments, I accidentally hit "skip" on the Netflix recap and went in only remembering "wait, didn't the Upside Down split the earth and start oozing in?"
And then, "yay, everything is fine now!" as soon as the credits ended so I wondered...did I miss an episode -- did I miss a season?
But, no, they retconned it into something nobody noticed and then tell us in a voiceover (lazy writing). They're quarantined but that doesn't really seem to mean much.
And the army has a base! They're on top of it!
And then a character -- not just any character but one related to the kids that are always around when weird shit happens -- starts seeing an imaginary friend?
That should set off a zillion alarms! Every adult should be on high alert for anything weird going on. Kids bodies were getting mushed into balls by an unseen force last season and now everybody's just like "don't be silly, it's imaginary!" G.I. Sarah Connor should have Holly dissected on a table by now!
Which goes along with, by now, everyone within ten feet of Will should be on "If Will Does Weird Shit, Take Notice" alert. Will stares at a falling leaf for more than 10 seconds? MAKE HIM EXPLAIN WHY IN GREAT DETAIL.
I guess I'm giving more credit to everyone being observant and having a memory. But, this is kinda why I hate horror movies.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:28 PM
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That should set off a zillion alarms! Every adult should be on high alert for anything weird going on.
I dunno, life in the USA in 2025 would seem to refute this notion
posted by eustatic at 5:44 AM
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I think the Satantic Panic is a much more realistic description of what happens when you combine our delusion-based society with hyper vigilance
posted by eustatic at 6:42 AM
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