Reprinted from TidBITS#989/03-Aug-09 with permission. Copyright (C) 2009, TidBITS. All rights reserved. http://www.tidbits.com/ Fake Apple Tablet Rumors ------------------------ by Kevin van Haaren article link: I woke up last week to find the tech blogs had gone berserk speculating on the rumors swirling around the Apple Tablet - even going so far that PC World's Michael Scalisi published a column declaring that the unseen, unannounced, completely hypothetical Apple Tablet was already a train wreck. Inspired by John Moltz's (mostly still on hiatus) Crazy Apple Rumors site, I decided to start posting on Twitter the silliest rumors I could think of for the Apple Tablet. So, for your reading pleasure, here are a few of my speculations on what must surely be the real Apple Tablet specifications. I heard the Apple Tablet will be round. I heard the Apple Tablet will be exclusively available at the Microsoft Store. I heard the Apple Tablet in Scotland will be available in the colors of your clan tartan. I heard the Apple Tablet will have a super battery saver mode where the GUI is turned off, leaving just Terminal. I heard the Apple Tablet's back will be covered in solar panels and can recharge a Prius in 2 hours. I heard the Apple Tablet will run so hot that men will be required to wear a modified iPod sock to protect the family jewels. I heard the Apple Tablet will have a dock where you insert your iPod touch/iPhone and have a dual CPU. I heard the Apple Tablet will have not one but _two_ cup holders. I heard Apple Tablet will have a "Back to My Owner" feature where when lost it will call a cab to come take it home. I heard the Apple Tablet will fold to fit in your pocket. I heard the Apple Tablet will not only be the Technicolor Kindle but comes with a free Technicolor DreamTurtleNeck. I heard the Apple Tablet will play movies in 2168p. I heard the Apple Tablet will include support for FidoNet for _free_. I heard the Apple Tablet will include a vibrate mode intended to help with lower back pain. I heard 1 in 1000 Apple Tablet boxes will actually contain a gold brick. I heard the Apple Tablet touch screen will be so sensitive it will pick up each individual bristle in a paint brush. I heard the Apple Tablet will not only include TiVo functionality but can do so in HD over EDGE networks. I heard the new Apple Tablet won't have a DVD drive, but will support scent-releasing odor disks. I heard for every Apple Tablet you buy, Apple will donate two to needy kids in private schools. I heard the Apple Tablet will come with free cell access like the Kindle but includes voice! I heard the Apple Tablet will play Xbox _and_ Wii games. I heard the Apple Tablet will have a screen on both sides. I heard the Apple Tablet will ship with the entire Beatles collection and be signed by John Lennon. Twitter has a tagging mechanism called hashtags that enables you to group tweets by a particular subject. I tagged all my tweets as #FakeAppleTabletRumors so they're easy to find. I have no monopoly on this brilliant idea, so be sure to chime in with your own fake rumors. Lots of people, including a number of TidBITS staffers, have already joined in. Just be sure to tag your posts in Twitter with the #FakeAppleTabletRumors hashtag as well, so they'll be easy for everyone to find in the Twitter search engine. ---- read/post comments: tweet this article: .