* * * * * Skidoosh The following is one of the most amusing spam emails I've received in a long time: > From: "Alisha Roberts" > To:  > Subject: "I Was In Hell" Serial Robber Terrified After Entering Detroit > Family's House > Date: Thu, 1 Oct 2020 04:10:15 -0500 > > What a serial robber thought was just another break in, turned out to be > the most frightening thing he had ever experienced. > > Police found him crippled on the living room floor, seven feet away from > his gun, screaming in excruciating pain "He's not human!". > > The scene was incredibly awkward, as the person he was pointing at was a > little boy in Teddy Bear pajamas, no older than 10 years, surrounded by his > worried parents and grandparents. > > When an officer interrogated the family they said that Jimmy -the little > boy- had learned a self-defense move [2]after watching this video with his > grandfather. > > The two-finger trick, called the "Death Touch", was invented by a Chinese > Kung Fu Master and it allows anyone, no matter their physical strength or > condition, to bring down an attacker just by poking him in a vulnerable > spot. > > "We saw the video a couple of times and practiced a little bit. I'm shocked > Jimmy almost killed an 180 pound man just by touching him…and he did it in > the dark!" > It reminds me of the Count Dante ads [1] one would find in comic books back in the 70s, promising to teach 點脈 [2]. I guess with the death of the comic book industry [3] they have to advertise elsewhere … [1] https://prommanow.com/2019/07/03/the-incredibly-fake-true-story-of-count-dante/ [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Touch_of_Death [3] https://d-rezzed.clownfishtv.com/comic-book-industry-decline-dying-forbes/ Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org .