* * * * *
                                        
      Get your dirty hands off my money, Clemon Cockett! I'm not dead yet!
                                        
While I was sick [1], I recieved this lovely piece of email with the most
intriguing subject line:

> From: "Zenith Bank Plc"<admink@ovh.net>
> To: undisclosed-recipients:;
> Subject: IF YOU ARE ALIVE?? CALL ME +2348075633839
> Date: Thu, 3 Dec 2015 19:00:16 +0200
> 
> ATTENTION BENEFICIARY,
> 
> WE NEED TO CONFIRM THAT THIS IS TRUTH BEFORE THIS BANK (ZENITH BANK NIGERIA
> PLC) WILL RELEASE YOUR FUNDS TO ONE CLEMON COCKETT. YOUR PAYMENT OF FOUR
> MILLION THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS HAS BEEN APPROVAL AND
> SCHEDULE FOR TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT BY ZENITH BANK NIGERIA PLC.
> 
> WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, ARE YOU TRULY DEAD OR ALIVE?????
> 
> NOTE: CLEMON COCKETT CAME TO MY OFFICE FEW DAYS AGO WITH NEWS THAT YOU WERE
> INVOLVE IN A CAR ACCIDENT LAST YEAR DECEMBER 2014,THAT LED TO YOUR DEATH,
> NOW CLAIMING THAT YOUR FAMILY AUTHORIZED HIM TO MAKE CLAIMS ON YOUR BEHALF
> THAT YOU ARE DEAD. HE ALSO SUBMITTED NEW BANK ACCOUNT TO THIS OFFICE IN
> FAVOUR OF MR. CLEMON COCKETT WITH A SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF FACT & CLAIM FROM
> THE INTERNATIONAL COURT OF JUSTICE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS. PROVING THAT YOU ARE
> DEAD AND CLAIMING TO BE YOUR NEXT OF KIN.
> 
> IF TRULY YOU ARE DEAD, MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE, BUT IF YOU ARE NOT
> DEAD, YOU ARE ADVISED TO URGENTLY RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL AND ALSO CALL ME
> ASAP FOR MORE DIRECTIVES.
> 
> BE INFORMED THAT WE HAVE DECIDED TO PUT A STOP TO THE FUNDS TRANSFER, UNTIL
> WE CONFIRM THE AUTHENTICITY OF CLEMON COCKETT CLAIMS. THEREFORE YOU ARE
> ADVISE TO RESPOND BACK WITHIN 24 HOURS, IF NOT THE BANK WILL HAVE NO OTHER
> OPTION THAN TO CREDIT HIS ACCOUNT BELOW:
> 
> BANK NAME: ICICI BANK OF CANADA
>  BANK ADDRESS:MISSISSAUGA, ONTARIO L5B 4M4 CANADA
>  ACCOUNT NAME: CLEMON COCKETT
>  ACCOUNT NUMBER: 101783463
>  SWIFT CODE: ICICCATT
>  TRANSIT NUMBER:70002-340
>  ROUTING NUMBER:034070002
> 
> TO CONFIRM THAT WE ARE DEALING WITH THE REAL YOU, RECONFIRM YOUR
> INFORMATION AS REQUIRED BELOW:
> 
> 1. YOUR FULL NAMES :—————————————-
>  2. YOUR FULL ADDRESS :—————————————-
>  3. YOUR DIRECT CONTACT PHONE NUMBER :————————
>  4. DO SEND A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION, ID CARD OR INTERNATIONAL
> PASSPORT——————–
> 
> IF YOU ARE ALIVE?? CALL ME +2348075633839
> 
> WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY.
> 
> THANKS.
>  MR.STANLEY AMUCHIE -
>  INVESTIGATION AND DEBT SETTLEMENT DEPARTMENT
>  ZENITH BANK NIGERIA PLC
>  TEL: +2348075633839
> 

This has to be the most amusing Nigerian scam [2] I've seen yet!

But … um … no. I won't be sending you a copy of my identification, nor
calling you.

But it's an amusing attempt.

[1] gopher://gopher.conman.org/0Phlog:2015/12/11.1
[2] http://www.419eater.com/html/419faq.htm

Email Sean Conner at sean@conman.org

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